So I get up this morning, grab my morning Coca Cola, give the dog a Beggin' Strip and try to make a decision on whether I want to read the morning paper or surf the Internet.

I surf the Internet.

I log an entry into my Diary (check "older" if ya don't believe me. Go ahead. Check it. I DARE YOU....), I respond to some junk emails (it really blows these people's minds when you send back some retarded reasons as to why you don't want to take advantage of their credit card offers), and push myself away from the computer.

I take a moment to reflect on what I would like to do next. Should I fix breakfast or address some envelopes for the March of Dimes?

My ass is hungry.

I go to the kitchen and prepare a breakfast feast for the wife who is still in bed. I put some light jazz in the stereo, and whip up some eggs, bacon, biscuits and hashbrowns.

We share the morning paper while listening to our jazz music and eating breakfast in bed.

She gets up, showers and goes to church, while I try to decide if I want to finish the morning paper or surf the Internet some more.

I decide to surf the Internet some more.

I hit a few sites, send emails as to why I don't want to LOSE WEIGHT NOW!! and decide to check in and see what's going on in the People site.

There. At the bottom of the page....

"Strangest Entry ... Uncle Bob".

(Uncle Bob shifts nervously in his seat)

I'm honored and slightly aroused to have this award bestowed upon me. Out of umpteen zillion diary entries, Erik thinks mine is the strangest.

Maybe so. But, as you see, my life is EXTREMELY normal.

It's the diary that's the strange one.

UNCLE BOB'S HOUSE OF FUN

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