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5:41 a.m. - 2001-10-04

TOTO...THIS AIN'T NOTHING LIKE UNCLE BOB'S ARMY...

I guess I had my first dream about the impending war last night.

I dreamt that I had been suddenly tossed into the Army and was going through basic training which was wearing my ass out.

And because I was thrust into the situation so quickly, I was melancholy about those I missed.

...No...not my wife and child.

Believe it or not...you people.

For some ungodly reason, the only thing that kept going through my head was "All these internet people are going to want to know where Uncle Bob went and there's no way I can tell them."

Gawd.

How pathetic is that?

So I tried to tell my drill sergeant about my diabetes and that since I had it, well...there was just no way I could be in the Army, huh?

Guess again, Sugar Boy?? Get back in line...we don't give a crap that you're peeing sugar cubes. We've got a war to fight.

Finally, toward the end of the dream, some people pulled me aside and said that since I was diabetic, I didn't have to go through basic training, but they still weren't going to send me home either.

So I worked in a kitchen, cooking all day and night.

It still sucked.

And I just want you to know...if for some reason I don't show up here one day and you never hear from your Uncle Bob again...I've been drafted.

And I miss you.

You know...in my dreams.


So...for the very first time, I watched "The West Wing" last night.

I won't be watching again. Yeah, I know it was more of a "play" than an actual episode of the show...but I'm just not into sitting there for an hour, attempting to be entertained by politics.

It was just a vehicle for that drugged out hippie creator of the show to expound his views of the whole thing on the nation.

Plus...it was BORING.

If I want to be bored, I'll watch C-SPAN. That's what that channel's for...when you have way too much excitement in your life and need to calm down a couple of notches.


We were scheduled to have a meeting at church last night at 6 to go over this new brochure one of the girls has made for the church.

6:15...she wasn't there.

6:30 ...she called and said she would be there in a minute.

6:50...she showed up.

Us three guys were a tad peeved. This girl REALLY wanted to be in on the project and approached us to take part in it. We were kinda hesitant to let her in on it, because she's young and she used to always want to be involved with other projects but would always bail on them halfway through.

She admitted this. She told us that in her past, she was less than reliable.

But she had changed. She was now responsible and would work hard to be a part of the team.

So why was she late last night?

She went home after work, crashed on the couch and woke up at 6:30.

Miss Reliable at your service.

She pulled out a brochure she had worked on and asked our opinion.

We are guys.

Guys have very little opinion about things like brochures. Ask us if a steak looks done, and we'll have an opinion. Ask us if a gutter needs replaced and you'll get an opinion.

Ask us if we like the color schemes in a brochure and you'll get a "yes" without us even having to look at the color schemes or even knowing what the hell a color scheme is.

So she handed out the brochure, the three of us flipped through it like we were actually studying it and told her it looked great...run with it.

She was happy.

We were still a little ticked.

We all left and went our separate ways.


So...I guess by now you guys heard about the Indian plane being hijacked and how it turned out to be a false alarm.

These people sat on a runway in India for four hours before they realized ... there were no hijackers.

What cracked me up was the fact that the pilots barricaded themselves in the cockpit, thinking the hijackers were out with the passengers.

The passengers all assumed that the hijackers were in the cockpit.

So everyone sat there in sheer panic for four hours when there wasn't a hijacker on the plane at all.

I know.

It sounds like an episode of "Three's Company" but it's actually true.

Those wacky Indians!

What'll they think of next?


I saw the most touching picture yesterday.

I found it on Rolling Stone.com. which is doing its own take on this recent tragedy.

When I saw it, I got a lump in my throat.

Take a look for yourself.


Alright...I've got vegetarian spaghetti sauce to make, so I'd better make like a Dolly Madison truck driver and haul buns.

Take care, see ya later, don't get mangled on your way out.

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