WHAT'S UP WITH UNCLE BOB?

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I've gotten horrible about answering emails. I now answer them every Wednesday and Saturday, but I missed last Saturday, so now I'm a week behind. Sorry.

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I'm seriously listening to "The Love Boat" theme WAYYYYY too much lately.

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I'm trying desperately to throw a successful yard sale together in less than two weeks and it just ain't working.

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I'm feeling angsty right now. Because it's Tuesday and I have too much to do and not enough time to do it.

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I feel like I'm losing my touch in writing. Not just here but in all facets of my writing. I go through this about every three months, then I crank out something fairly original that makes me smile with twisted glee and life goes on.

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I'm still sore from Jubilee Weekend. Drinking like a fish and then standing on hot pavement for hours on end ... there's something counter-productive in that, but I just can't put my finger on it ...

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I found out the girl I jumped in bed with on Friday night that could pass for a stripper just got out of prison after being in for four years.

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Yes, I checked. I still have my wallet.

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With the impending birth of my child and the near-death experience with my dad, I've become slightly more spiritual.

I keep thinking God's talking to me ... but in my own way. He's given me a child when I'm too old to play with it.

To me...that's a gag. Poking me in the ribs with a child in His arms. Then he throws my Dad into a brain aneurysm (I still haven't bothered to learn how to spell that word)that would have killed 75% of the people that have it ... just to remind me that He is there.

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I've never had those kinda feelings before.

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I think Uncle Bob will stay around in Diaryland. But I'm getting the feeling he may not be the same Uncle Bob that we've all grown up on.

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I've only been in Diaryland for four months.

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My belly has gotten huge ever since my wife told me she's pregnant. I've gained weight so quick, it's embarrassing. It's a bitch to have to move my head now because my face is so chubby.

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I've also inherited her PMS and bloatedness.

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My professional humor column has really sucked for the last three weeks. I struggled with the thing for HOURS yesterday and finally burped up something that has a few smirks in it, but that's it.

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This was a quick and painless way to fill this space today.