THE HOME VERSION OF "TRADING SPACES"

A week or so ago, I wrote about this show on TLC called "Trading Spaces", where two couples decorate each other's house over a weekend...usually with semi-disastrous results.

Last night, Susie and I played the home version of "Trading Spaces".

Luckily, we had no neighbors helping us or else our house would be smoldering bricks and burnt furniture this morning because most of our neighbors are arsonists or crackheads.

I mean...Edweird helped me bring the new entertainment center inside, so I guess that kinda counts as having someone else help out.

Other than that, it was Susie and I redecorating the home.

...With semi-disastrous results.

After Edweird lugged the entertainment center in and helped me get the television inside it, he was history. He bailed. He vamoosed. He scooted out. He had to hurry home and watch "Fear Factor". I didn't have the heart to tell him "Fear Factor" wasn't on due to a new shitty little program NBC likes to call "THE OLYMPICS, EDWEIRD...THE OLYMPICS". So I let him go home and had a healthy chuckle at his expense when he left.

Then, it was time to move the stereo.

I HATE moving the stereo. I've got two heavy assed speakers, a receiver, CD player and tape player. From the time that I unhook everything and then hook it all back up again, somewhere in that process I ALWAYS screw something up so I don't get any sound from something. Then it's a process of plugging wires in and out until I get some sound, cursing Thomas Edison the entire time.

This new entertainment center has shelves for the stereo stuff and will hold six components. When you add the VCR, the DVD player and the digital cable box to the previous three components that I've already mentioned, you come up with a grand total of six components. Exactly what the entertainment center will hold.

Unless...the spaces holding the components are different sizes. Then you can hold three components like mine and have a blank area that won't hold anything bigger than a Hot Wheels car.

ENTERTAINMENT CENTER BUYING TIP #1: Check the component shelves to make sure they can hold components. Any components. Even a knick-knack. A hot dog. Two rolls of toilet paper. Anything. If not, do NOT buy the entertainment center.

Long boring, drawn-out story short...all the video stuff's on top of the entertainment center, audio down in the component shelves.

As you can see on the left side at the bottom...empty. And on top...cluttered. And on the floor...a mess that I haven't felt like cleaning up until today.

Same with the bookcase and sofa.

I had good intentions last night. But by the time 10:00 rolled around, I was physically exhausted trying to redecorate the room.

Susie helped. She dusted.

Oh.

And supervised Andrew.

Who has learned how to feed himself with a spoon now.

Did I tell you this already?

He's not all that good at it yet. In fact, most of it goes on the floor or his chin. But hey...he's trying. It won't be long now before he can sit down at an eight course meal like a real gentleman.

*cough*

So anyway, last night after busting my ass for four hours straight, I was hurting.

Took a pain pill last night.

I'm in La-La Land this morning.

So I'm calling it quits here. It's my day to take the baby to daycare and I've got shitloads of yogurt to clean off of him first.

Sorry this entry was so boring.

I really think the title "Uncle Bob's Diary O' Chuckles" is causing me undue stress. Because it's not always funny and I'm not always in a funny mood.

Somedays, I'm loopy from expired pain pills.

Like today.

Wheeeeeeee!!

I'm going to go chase imaginary butterflies now.

I'll shut up.