I'M TIRED, CRANKY AND BLOATED ... WHAT'S NEW?

I woke up at 3:30 this morning, ready to get up.

It's been like this all week long. The latest I've slept all week was 4:30.

I've also had a splitting headache every night all week. It starts about 4 in the afternoon and doesn't end until I pass out on the pillow.

Susie says it might be stress.

Yeah??

WELL WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE KNOW?!?!?!?!?!?

Yesterday was what we in the house-selling world would call "a good day".

We got our appraisal back for the house. The new owner got a hell of a deal. We leave with no regrets. Everyone's happy.

The termite inspection passed with flying colors. There are no termites in Chez Bob. That means we saved about $700.

Susie called to get the power and water and gas shut off on Saturday and the people told her that the new owner had already called to have them put in her name on Monday, which means she's planning on going through with the sale which has always worried us in the backs of our minds.

And we got the keys to the apartment and started moving some boxes in last night.

I do wish I had researched the apartment complex a bit better before settling on this one. The complex is in a nice enough neighborhood. It's a gated community so you feel safe inside.

But ... well...our neighbors. I think they might be friends of the gang member down the street.

As we were moving boxes inside, they pulled up in their hooptie. They got out of the afore-mentioned hooptie, tugged several times on their respective crotches in a manner that most people reserve for smoothing their hair, strutted to their door and greeted my wife and son with a "Yeeaaaaaaah...wassap?"

Susie, ever the diplomat, greeted them with a nod of the head and a "How do you do?"

Andrew stared blankly at the guy's sloppy cornrows.

I ushered my family inside our new apartment, locked the door behind us and prayed to God to keep us safe for three months.

These are our new neighbors.

Looks like it might be an interesting three months.

...For YOU GUYS anyway.

Drove out to the new homestead last night and saw our new roof on the house.

We got out and walked around inside. They've put our fireplace in and next should be our tubs and showers.

It's really taking shape now.

It just can't take shape soon enough.

Well ...everyone's up early and to be honest...not much more happened yesterday.

No brother-in-law stories as he took the night off from tormenting my soul.

NAN is no longer speaking to us because we're moving.

The realtor told us that she REALLY wishes we hadn't settled for such a low ball amount to get out of the house, to which I replied "Remember Kelly ... God TOLD me that this girl must have the house."

Which prompted her to blurt out "THERE IS NO GOD!!" and then quickly cover her mouth with her hands in a move that made me think her whole "God will help sell our house" line was just some crap to make people think she was sweeter than she really is.

I finally jumped on the Survey bandwagon and wrote up my own survey for all of you to take. You can take it here. It's kinda boring, but devising a Survey is harder than I thought it'd be.

I just wanna read the paper and relax in my recliner before this day kicks into gear.

So I'll leave you here.

Just you and your beer.

That you hold so near.

See?

Suck Ass Poems are EASY to write!!!