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4:04 a.m. - 2002-11-07


I’ve got an idea for a new horror film.

It’s about a piece of chicken.

And if you stare long enough at this piece of chicken, you’ll die seven days later.

I’m calling it “The Wing”.


…Screw you. I thought it was funny.

I really hate that Winona Ryder may be going to prison.

She stole my heart in “Edward Scissorhands”.

Not to mention my wallet, watch and gold necklace valued at $1,200.


…Seriously…somebody stop me. I’m way too funny for my own good this morning.

You know ... as much grief as I've been giving my nephew lately ... I was pretty much a geek when I was a teenager too.

I wore glasses and needed braces, but my parents couldn't afford them at the time, so I had to do without. Plus, I hated my smile. I thought I looked like such a nerd.

But my grandma would tell me "You're only as ugly as you think you are."

I never really understood what she meant by that. I mean...I thought I was one homely sonofabitch. So was she telling me I was ugly??

After years of begging my parents, they finally caved and allowed me to grow my hair fairly long into a mullet-like hairdo. I always thought the long hair would eventually help me land a girlfriend.

Ironically, it wasn't until I cut my hair that I finally got my first girlfriend.

I had one career goal in mind at age 15. I had visions of someday replacing Ace Frehley in KISS. Every day after school, I'd retreat to my bedroom, lock the door, slap on the KISS Alive record (always skipping to the encores on Side 4) and play my air guitar with bent knees, bending backwards as far as I could, just like Ace.

In my mind...I was cool.

Anyway ... when we were moving in to the new house, I ran across some old photos, including my ninth grade school photo.

Against my better judgement, I scanned the photo yesterday and decided to post it to see if you guys and gals thought I looked geeky or not.

Granted, I'm biased. I mean...I thought I was a class A geek back then. I'm sure I couldn't have possibly looked as bad as I thought I did.

And looking back ... nah. I wasn't nearly as geeky as I thought I was at the time.

That's why I feel comfortable posting a picture of me at 15 now. To show you guys that no matter how geeky you might feel, you're never as geeky as you think you are. ya go.














Photo removed because I wasn't aware that it was a disabled child and not a geek. I'm an idiot. I know this already.


I mean...that's not geeky is it?

Sorry so stupid today. But yesterday was about as boring as a Madonna film festival and I had nothing really to write about.

I hope you understand.

Hell...I don't care really.

Today was all about amusing my own damned self.


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