FREE SEX PHOTOS (NOT REALLY ... I NEED THE GOOGLE HITS)

I saw this on the web yesterday:

"The man who invented the sitcom laugh track, Charlie Douglass, died earlier this month of pneumonia. He was 93."

Tell me that wasn't a hoot of a funeral.

I'm just imagining a eulogy where every time someone said something about the guy, the laugh track button was hit, sending peals of recorded laughter throughout the church.

Man.

I can't wait for the funeral to come out on DVD.

Speaking of buying DVDs, I got "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart", a documentary about Wilco's last album (and my favorite disc of the last year) "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot".

I've watched the movie twice in two days. I can't say it's the best music documentary I've ever seen...but I'm compelled to watch it again and again for some reason. I guess I just love the music.

Rent the DVD if you aren't familiar with the band or disc.

But if you liked the disc, you'll love the movie.

And if you don't have the disc, then you're simply not cool and I hate you and I think you're nothing more than a stupid assface.

Nyah.

Wellllll...what do you know?

The Weather Channel has finally admitted that my state exists!

Usually, if bad storms come through the southeast, the Weather Channel people mention Mississippi, Georgia and Florida...and always conveniently forget to mention Alabama.

Not today, baby.

Our whole state is red, meaning we're going to get some killer tornado storms today. The ones that destroyed some town in Texas on Wednesday.

All the other states are green.

They're trying their best to snub us though. The lady on the station just said "Atlanta's going to be wet, Charlotte's going to be wet. And (sigh)...people are probably going to die today in (whispers) ...Alabama."

I understand that the general perception of this state is that we're all a bunch of uneducated pig farmers and that's simply not true.

We have quite a few dog farmers too.

But dammit...WE'RE PEOPLE!!

...Except for that lady with the pool behind Troy's house. I think she might be a tool of the devil in human form.

And she doesn't even own a dog.

On a scale from one to ten, how obvious is it that I have nothing to write about today?

Am I the only one who's a bit worried about this SARS stuff?

I mean...screw AIDS...this stuff can be caught just being NEAR a person with it. You don't even have to have sex first.

Okay...not "screw AIDS". AIDS kills, I understand. But in order to get AIDS, you have to go out of your way to get it. SARS ...you just have to go out in public and get near someone who was near someone else with it. Shit...it's harder to catch a freakin' cold than it is to catch SARS.

I wonder if I could stay home from work today, using the excuse that I think someone at work might have SARS and I'm not taking any chances coming in.

It's worth a try...right?

Crap.

Let's just go ahead and put this entry out of its misery.

You guys might wanna turn your heads.

This ain't gonna be pretty.

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BLAMMO!!!!