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5:01a.m. - 2003-09-16


Gah, I'm still tired from yesterday.

I drove to and from Georgia, a 3.5 hour round trip drive before 7:30 a.m., delivering my wife to the fine state of Georgia, making Georgia promise to take care of her and then speeding back to my home state, blasting the Ramones at full volume to keep me awake.

The rest of the day is kinda sorta a blur.

I had a three hour meeting with our new advertising agency which totally kicks ass.

...The new advertising agency...NOT three hour meetings.

Anywhooo...they've got some awesome ideas for our organization and we're going to get them implemented sooner rather than later and we're just way excited to be working with them.

So that was good.

Then I was whisked away to a press conference that I didn't know I would be attending about the progress on our new baseball stadium in town and the adjacent new amphitheatre on the river which is GORGEOUS.

I was there with Wendigo, our bosses, the Mayor, some City Councilmen and a local entrepreneur that has more money than God.

We took a little tour around the amphitheater and I decided that I had better walk back to the office because I could have sworn I had a meeting scheduled.

I didn't.

But I missed what sounded like a hilarious mishap at the amphitheater.

Which you can read about if you just go to that link of Wendigo's that I just provided you with.

The first night of "Daddy's Exhausted, Please Humor Yourself" didn't go as well as planned last night.

Y'see...Sunday, Andrew was playing around the house when he stumbled upon this cheap wooden puzzle with the alphabet on it from Walmart.

This was supposed to be a Christmas present. But Santa didn't hide it very well in her closet and the mischievous little imp found it.

So he got way excited. More excited than a two year-old should get over a wooden puzzle with the alphabet on it from Walmart.

I took the plastic wrap off of the puzzle and for the rest of the afternoon and evening, Andrew toted that puzzle with him everywhere.

When it was time for bed Sunday night, he tried to take it to bed with him.

We tried to tell him "no".

But he screeched louder than a train skipping off its tracks.

So he got to sleep with his puzzle.

Yesterday, when I came home from Georgia to take him to daycare, he demanded to take his puzzle to daycare.

I shot that idea down quickly because he's not allowed to bring toys to daycare.

He cried for the first couple of miles to daycare, punctuated with loud shrieks of "PUZZLE!! PUZZLE!!!"

I told him that when we got home that night, he could play with his puzzle.

Last night, we get home from daycare and he wants to play in the van after it's parked in the garage. He does this every night ... pretends to drive the van.

I told him that was fine ... but I was going in to ... play with his .... PUZZLE!!!

His ears perked up and he scooted out of the driver's seat as quick as he could, making a beeline for inside.

I gave him his puzzle and it was like giving a heroin addict a baggie full of smack.

But rather than play with it quietly by himself while Daddy rested on the sofa, he wanted me to play with him.

So we played with that freakin' puzzle all night long.

At 9 p.m., I couldn't take it anymore.

"It's bedtime Andrew," I said. "Let's go to bed."

Sure enough, he picked up that puzzle carefully and carried it to his bed like a tray full of nuclear chemical samples.

I was too tired to fight it so I put him in bed with his puzzle, made him blow me a kiss goodnight and crawled to bed.

This morning though, I was smart.

I went in there and grabbed his puzzle and hid it in my closet while he slept.

I couldn't find the H and T though.

Now I'm sitting here all panicky because I think he may have choked on either the H or T and that he may be dead in his bed due to my negligence as a decent parent.

Hang on.


Okay, he's alive.

But since it's still dark out, I can't find the last two pieces of the puzzle.

And as always, I've told you a story that has left you perched on the edge of your seat, dying to know how it turns out...huh?


I am so freakin' boring this morning.

I blame it on the lack of caffeine.

And marijuana.

Then again, I haven't had marijuana in years.

Damned growing up and having kids!

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