TOP TEN NEW CAREER OPTIONS FOR SIEGFRIED AND ROY'S ROY

10) Celebrity Spokesman for Sucrets Lozenges

9) Tony the Tiger's bitch

8) With all the new holes in his throat, he can now give multiple blow jobs at the same time.

7) Mute gofer for Wayne Newton

6) Inspirational speaker ... without the whole "speaking" thing

5) Semi-professional stalker of the new Vegas act "Siegfried and Floyd"

4) Magician for blind kids' birthday parties

3) A bit part in "Scary Movie 4"

2) Secure a 30-year contract with the Vegas Holiday Inn Express to appear as "Roy, the Amazing Human Fountain".

1) Pope (if he can wait just a few more weeks)