DON'T ASK ME TO PLAY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY

So Susie calls me from work yesterday.

"Guess whose autograph I just got?" she squeals.

"NASCAR racing legend Jeff Gordon!" I squeal back.

"Nope," she says, less squealy.

"Local television news anchor/legend Bob Howell?" I guess again.

"More famous," she hints.

Geez ... more famous than Bob Howell. That really helps. I'm more famous than Bob Howell these days. Bob hasn't been on the news in years.

"Diminuitive star of stage and screen Mickey Rooney?" I blurt out.

"Nope," she says.

"Hmmmm ... one of the Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz?"

"They're all dead."

"Dr. Phil's personal assistant slash whipping boy?"

"Just give up."

"Never! 'Cabaret' star Joel Grey?"

"Please give up."

"Fred Gwynne from 'The Munsters'?"

"He's dead. I have to go."

"No!! Oh! Oh! Bob Vila! The guy from 'This Old House'! That's it, right!"

*click*

"Hello? Hello??"

For the record, I just found out this morning it was Olympic figure skater Elvis Stoijko.

Which would have been my next guess.