UNCLE BOB GOES HOLLYWOOD

YAY!

My business partner just called to tell me that he can't meet up with me this morning because he has to do something with one of his other businesses.

The guy has three separate businesses.

I'm a partner in only one of the businesses.

I'm trying to see how many times I can work the words "partner" and "businesses" in my sentences.

Yeah.

So anyway ... YAY! Because I was supposed to meet up with him in 45 minutes but now I've got the morning off.

Goooooooooooo business partner with too many businesses!!

Is anybody else trying to write a sitcom pilot script for Bravo's new reality show?

I've started and stopped three different scripts already but have finally found a concept/idea that I don't think has ever been used before.

My first idea was the idea I've had since I was a teenager ... a sitcom about five guys who work trash detail at an amusement park.

Mainly because I was a teenager who worked trash detail at an amusement park once and believe it or not, we had a number of wacky hijinx back then.

I originally wanted to make it a raunchy R-rated teen film called "Hot Trash" when I first had the idea in 1980.

But since this is an exercise in writing sitcoms, I tried writing "Hot Trash-The TV Pilot".

No go.

The years have not been kind to my teen sex romp idea.

And plus, NBC isn't too keen on showing as much boobage as the situation would require.

The second idea was about a 20-something guy whose dad was a big Aaron Spelling-type Hollywood mogul who dies while having hot monkey sex with his secretary or somebody.

In the will, the dad leaves his Hollywood studio to his son.

So now his son has to oversee a really bad soap opera called "Times Of Our Love" or some equally bad title.

And the son doesn't know jack about soap operas because he never paid attention to what his dad did.

So he has to deal with all these different personalities like the Diva star and the dimwitted leading man, etc. causing him mucho headaches and laughs.

I stopped writing it because you'd have SO MANY characters in the sitcom that it'd be a bitch to write and the general rule of thumb is to have maybe 6-8 main characters on a sitcom.

The third one I tried to write was "The Uncle Bob Show".

No shit.

Except Uncle Bob was this cranky bastard who had a local afternoon kid's TV show in New Jersey. And the guy hates kids and hates doing his show and hates his life.

While it may be funny, history tells us that in order for audiences to love a character and/or show, they have to have some sort of sympathy or love for the main character.

Uncle Bob would not generate any love.

Plus ... it's almost a direct knock-off of Homey the Clown and Krusty the Clown.

So I abandoned that project like a red-headed stepchild with buck teeth.

Now I have a new concept that seems to be falling into place, but I just have to bang out a script.

Naturally, I'm not going to tell you the concept until I make it onto this reality show and you can all watch me fail on national television.

Heh.

Like I'd actually get that far.

Anyway ... I've got a point to all this ...

...There are very few sitcom "concepts" that haven't already been mined in the past.

Basically, a sitcom revolves around characters with jobs for the most part.

Susie and I tried to come up with jobs that have never been exploited in a sitcom.

Radio DJ? Try "Frasier".

News anchor? "Murphy Brown".

Trash man? Art Carney on "The Honeymooners".

Soap stars? Joey on "Friends".

There's very few "situations" left to write "comedies" about.

And while my latest stab at a script pretty much follows bits and pieces of what I've already told you, I do believe the concept is fresh.

At least I hope so.

I need to start making the big bucks around here.