FINALLY MY LIFE IS COMPLETE

It has always been my personal opinion that everybody needs their own theme song.

Kinda like when you first wake up in the morning, this song should be playing on your clock radio as you open your eyes and face the coming day.

I've been working on my theme song for close to 30 years and think I've finally nailed it.

Without further ado ... my theme song:

He's a fat stupid bastard with a bad attitude

(He's Uncle Bob! He's Uncle Bob!)

He's obnoxious and lazy, he's cantankerous and rude

(He's Uncle Bob! He's Uncle Bob!)

Every day's an adventure that pisses him off,

Did you know that a horse drinks from a trough?

He's the most miserable fucker you'll ever meet,

He's Uncle Bob! He's Uncle Bob!

I know how the melody would go but since I can't really sing it for you here, I'll just type out the melody.

It goes like this:

"Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duhhhhh

(Duh Duhduh Duh! Duh Duhduh Duh!)

Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duhhhhh

(Duh Duhduh Duh! Duh Duhduh Duh!)

Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duhhhhh

Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duhhhhh

Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duhhhhh

Duh Duhduh Duh! Duh Duhduh Duh!"

So ... what do you think? Work of art or what?

In all honesty, the theme song took about three minutes to write ... not 30 years. Thirty years just sounded more dramatic than three minutes.