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7:35 a.m. - 2004-08-27


By the way, I saw "Open Water" last Friday like I said I would.

The best part of the movie was undoubtedly when that hot chick is laying in bed totally naked.

Hooo boy.

It's been too long since I saw a hot chick in her 20s laying in bed completely naked.

That's all I'll say about that.

Speaking of naked hot chicks, I'm hoping everyone saw "Totally Obsessed" last night on VH1 like I told you to do.

They had a woman on there who's totally obsessed with gaining weight so she can meet her goal of weighing 600 lbs.

They had a "Before" photo of her and she looked rather pretty.

But now she's hellbent for heart disease and is consuming ... I don't remember ... something like 24,000 calories a day.

She just gorges herself on food.

Now listen up ... I'm one fat bastard.

Chances are pretty damned high that if you're reading this ... you could probably stand to lose a few pounds yourself.

But did any of us get here because we wanted to?

Do any of us have a goal to gain 200 more lbs?


Hands in the air if your goal is to weigh 600 lbs.

(Hmmmmmm .... hmmmmm)

No hands.

My point exactly.

I can understand that her husband likes his women a little on the husky side and she's doing this to please him.

But I can't help but think that when her heart gives out at the age of 28, her hubby may feel a little bad for asking his wife to put on a few pounds.

I dunno.

All I know is I am soooo hooked on this TV show.

Then again, I've been pretty strung out on medication ever since I started watching it.

I may hate it once the prescriptions run out.

But man oh man ... I doubt it.

I love watching weirdos from the safety of my own home.


1) Hi. How are you?

Me? I'm fine. You?

2) Doin' okay. Thanks for asking. Wha'cha' been up to?

Been a little under the weather lately.

3) Oh yeah? What's wrong?

Walking pneumonia. It's been a bitch.

4) Wow. How'd you catch that?

I'm not sure. Shook a lot of hands over the weekend and shared microphones with people. That's my guess anyway.

5) So you're feeling better?

Yeah. The headaches are gone as is the dizziness. Still got a wicked cough and my back's killing me from spending 20 hours a day in bed for the last week.

6) Cool. I'm glad you're getting better. Sooo ... who's got your vote ... Bush, Kerry or Nader?

Sorry dude. I only answer five questions.

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