UMMMMM ... MUSIC??

Plus, any time I'm afforded the chance to talk about my tastes in music, I'll jump at it because I love my music.

So yeah ... this is apparently a Diaryland survey that Purple Cigar has issued. I don't check the surveys pages much anymore because I'm old and decrepit and most of them are about sex and quite frankly, I talk enough about my enormous penis on this site ... I don't need to blab about it elsewhere.

So here goes.

Ya ready?

No ... seriously ... say it out loud ... are ya ready??

(YES!!)

Cool ... here it is.

1. What are the total amount of music files on your computer?

Sadly, I�m so computer illiterate, I have no idea how many I have without counting each little file by hand. I just checked and I�m guessing that I probably have 500-600 files on my computer right now. I have them broken up into three different folders and need to put them all onto MP3 discs, but I just never have the time.

2. The last CD you bought was?

Last week I went on a mini shopping spree and bought The Chemical Brothers' "Push The Button"; both new Bright Eyes discs; The Zutons' "Who Killed The Zutons?" and Green Day's "American Idiot". I can't stop listening to the Chemical Brothers, I've only listened to the Bright Eyes discs once and thought they were decent. The Zutons are a disappointment and I just cannot get into Green Day no matter how hard I try. I would recommend the Chemical Brothers to anyone because it makes me shake my booty and my booty is mostly shake-proof.

3. What is the song you last listened to before this message?

Handsome Boy Modeling School's "Greatest Mistake". My God ... what a beautiful song. It's sung by John Oates from Hall & Oates who I never really cared for but he really makes the panties moist on this one. It's a perfect love song reminiscent of an old 70s soul song. It makes me wanna make sweet sweet love to somebody or something. Hell ... I'd even try and impregnate the empty Diet Dr. Pepper can in front of me if the song were to come on right now.

4. Write down five songs you often listen to, or that mean a lot to you.
Hmmmm. This changes all the time. I get tired of songs quickly and am always looking for something new to like and wear out. But the songs I'm listening to recently and not getting tired of are ...

1) "Greatest Mistake" --- See above.

2) "Make Love Fuck War" -- Moby & Public Enemy. This song sounds like an air raid siren with a sense of panic to it. Flavor Flav keeps hollering in the background on a loop while Chuck D. keeps insisting everyone "throw their hands in the air now". I've tried playing it at the club and the people don't get into it because it hasn't been rammed down their throats a million times yet. Then again, it might be the whole "air raid" thing that throws them off.

3) "Common People" -- William Shatner. Gotta credit da Pimp on this one too. I cannot imagine that I will ever get tired of this song. Cheese has never rocked so hard as it does on this tune.

4) "1,2 Step" -- Ciara & Missy Elliott. I just dig the beat on this song ... it's simple and is easy to mix with dozens of other tunes. I'm really starting to like Missy Elliott. She's innovative and not just another vapid female rapper. If a song has her featured on it, I'll more than likely fall in love with it.

5) "Somebody Told Me" -- The Killers. This song's been out a while and I didn't really care for it at first. But in the last month or so I've been listening to it more and more and now I find myself walking around singing "Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend that I had in Feb-ru-ar-y of last year" all the time. Naturally, this freaks the people at Walmart out as I strut past them singing it.

Five songs that mean a lot to me ...

1) "Break Your Heart" -- Barenaked Ladies. This song has a story behind it that I'd rather not go into here, but when I heard it for the first time I was blown away to the point of tears. What a beautiful goddamned song.

2) "Can't Help Fallin' In Love With You" -- Elvis Presley. When I proposed to Susie, I was a DJ at this nightclub. I stopped all the music, instructed the dance floor to empty and then went on a drunken ramble on the microphone about how I had fallen in love with one of the bartenders there. I asked her to marry me, she said yes, I played this song and we danced on the dance floor alone while everyone watched and weeped openly. Probably because Susie wasn't there to get their goddamned drinks for them for the duration of the song.

3) "Amazing Grace". It's my Mom's favorite song and every time I find a new version of it, she breaks down and cries when she listens to it. I first learned this when I was 12 and listening to Rod Stewart's "Every Picture Tells A Story" and the song popped up while my Mom was in the room. She started bawling and now I'm ashamed to listen to Rod Stewart. Goddamned Freud.

4) "Wasted Time" -- The Eagles. The song that was playing the very first time I got naked with a woman and she got naked as well. I knew she loved the "Hotel California" album, so I put that on and by the fourth song ... this song ... we had removed our clothing and were getting down to some sweet sweet lovin'. Since this was the era of vinyl albums and "Wasted Time" was the last song on side one, the needle picked itself up, went back to the first song and I think I spooted sometime during the guitar solo in "Hotel California".

5) "Creep" -- Radiohead. Still one of my all-time favorite songs. It's just the ultimate in self-hate songs ... I love the nasty guitar in it and the falsetto bridge in the middle. A perfect song.

5. Who are you gonna pass this stick to (three persons and why)?

Hey ... whoever wants to answer the questions ... go for it. Just link Purple Cigar.