TERRI AND THAT GUY

It's always "Terri Schiavo's husband wants to take her feeding tube out ... Terri Schiavo's husband is fighting the courts ... Terri Schiavo's husband farts in his sleep ... "

It's never "Wilbur Schiavo wants his wife dead".

Never.

That's gotta kinda suck.

And he does enough press conferences and shit where he can preface his conferences with "By the way ... my name's Harold. Please refer to me as Harold Schiavo in all your stories. You can even call me "The Big H" if you want. That's what my drinking buddies call me."

It's bad enough when one spouse gets the limelight so much that the other spouse is pushed into the shadows.

It's even worse when the popular spouse has brain damage and doesn't even know she's famous.

What makes Terri Schiavo any different from the thousands of people on life support throughout the nation whose families are torn apart because some want to pull the plug (or feeding tube) while others don't?

I have never understood why some people like Lacey Peterson and the abducted kids get the national spotlight while others in the exact same predicament don't.

We had a pregnant woman killed here a few months back. Her boyfriend killed her.

Did you know that??

Of course you didn't. Because the country was focused on Lacey and Scott. True Love Always. Best Friends Forever. All That Shit.

I think it's because the people that always get the national attention are good looking people.

That 16 year old girl who was abducted from her bed and held in a cave by religious nuts in Utah?

A pretty little girl.

The little eight year-old girl that was abducted here from a trailer park and later found dead on the side of a dirt road several months later?

Slight overbite and unruly hair.

Not to mention her humpback.

It's sad but true. Only the good-looking dead people make the news.

Why?

Because America is obsessed with good looking corpses.

I bet it's not like that in Canada.

Then again ... there are no good-looking people in Canada.

*cough*

Bottom line ... if you're looking to get famous as a serial killer/kidnapper ... make sure your victims are attractive.

That way ... you become famous and Katie Couric is gushing over you while the ugly shall inherit the earth.

Along with the meek.

Nothing but ugly, meek people running the earth.

Which would be cool because then I bet I could become the president of my subdivision's Homeowners Association.

Because I'm ugly. And somewhat meek.

POWER TO THE UGLY AND MEEK!!

...Okay ... time for caffeine.

Obviously.