current entry older entries message board contact
7:07 a.m. - 2005-04-01



I can't believe the Pope is dead.

It seems like yesterday that he was still alive and now ... dead.

I can't believe he suffered from anorexia AND bullimia.

I mean ... you've gotta think that the Pope just isn't/wasn't the type to go kneel by a toilet and vomit up everything he eats just so he can fit into his newest, tightest white robe thing.

And now, sadly, he's dead.

R.I.P. Popey.




...Yet, anyway.

Forgive me for being just a little too excited about the Pope's imminent jaunt to Heaven.

Y'see, in 1982 I was in college and I was stumbling back to the dorm, drunker than a Kennedy on New Year's Eve when I figured I needed to make a pit stop at a convenience store in order to get a beer and some Reese's Pieces which were all the rage in '82 thanks to a little alien guy named E.T.

As I crawled to the counter with my beer and candy, I noticed something out of my dimming tunnel vision.

A comic book featuring the Pope who was just starting his Popeage back then.

It set me back a buck fifty which was righteous bucks for an alcoholic college student. That was the equivalent of a six pack of Pabst.

Still, I plunked it down and belched to the poor Iranian behind the counter that someday this shit would put my kid through college.

You know ... if the alcohol didn't render me impotent.

I went home, wrapped the comic in toilet paper and stuffed it in a box.

Today, the toilet paper is brown.

...Brown from age, asshole.

But the comic book is still in mint condition.

And once the Pope kicks the proverbial bucket ... it's going to be worth MILLIONS!!!!

I'm going to retire off of this pristine comic book, I am.

Rich, I'm tellin' ya.

Donald Trump's gonna be my personal butler.

R-I-C-H rich.

Kiss my ass, you blog-reading bastards.

I'm a rich bitch now.


Just as soon as he croaks.

Then it's biscuits and gravy at every meal, bitch.


(ETA ... I just checked Ebay ... these comics are going for almost $10 right now. Son of a bitch.)

84 comments so far
The last one/The next one

NEW!!!Come and write some BAD EROTICA with the cool kids!

My Diaryland Trading Card
Now go write a Suck Ass Poem�
Write me a note here.
Read my notes here.
Hey! Take the Uncle Bob Quiz!
What the hell! May as well take the wildly popular Uncle Bob Second Quiz too!
Thanks Diaryland
Designed by Lisa


Have you read these?

The End Of Uncle Bob - 12:28 p.m. , 2009-02-19

Losing Focus While Trying To Write A Blog Entry Is Cool. - 1:47 p.m. , 2008-12-04

Buck Up Junior, You Could Be Digging Ditches - 11:36 p.m. , 2008-10-31

That Sinking Feeling - 6:09 a.m. , 2008-10-28

Return Of The Karate Kid And His Slow Kitty-Lovin' Accomplice - 5:44 a.m. , 2008-10-22

Sign up for my Notify List and get email when I update!

powered by

Click on the button below to order the book "Never Threaten To Eat Your Co-Workers: Best of Blogs" featuring Uncle Bob.
You WON'T be sorry.


Read a random entry of mine.