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6:05 a.m. - 2005-08-08


I know it's my schtick to make fun of the parties that I DJ at, but I had a really awesome party Saturday night.

I was a little flustered when I got lost because of crappy directions on the way there. I was so lost that at one point I ended up on a deserted island with a bunch of survivors from a plane crash running from a mechanical monster!!

I know!!

Just like that TV show "Lost"!!


So anyway ... I finally get to the party and I set up and start playing and the guy that owns the house (but didn't hire me ... long story) says that even though he likes all kinds of music he doesn't like rap.

I hear that from everyone over the age of 30. It's a given.

"What kind of music do you like?"

"Oh ... all kinds ... except rap. I hate rap."


Because you don't understand rap.

I've always liked rap in some fashion.

I liked "Rapture" and "Rapper's Delight" back when they came out.

I liked the Beastie Boys and Public Enemy.

I like Fat Joe and Kanye West and Outkast now.

I like rap.

That has nothing to do with this story. I just heard that Peter Jennings died yesterday and was paying more attention to that than what I was typing just now.

Actually, I hate rap.

Not really.

Confused yet?

So anyway ... I'm playing the music, the guy that owns the house is standing there and he says he wants to hear oldies.

Figures. He's in his 50s and that's what 50 year-olds want to hear.

So I play oldies for most of the evening.

And everyone is screaming "WOOOOOOOO!!" everytime the next song starts.

Only one couple dances while the rest of the crowd sit, go "WOOOOOOOO!!" and talk about the memories that each song brings to them.

They inform me that I'm the greatest DJ that ever walked the face of the earth.

They want business cards and lots of them because they know tons of people that would want me to come do their parties.

And the field that these people are in dictates that. They work with a LOT of influential people in town.

I was contracted to play from 5-9 p.m.

At 8:50, the president of the company that I'm playing for asks if I can stay later.

I'm having a good time.

But I am T-I-R-E-D.

And I have an hour's drive home.

Still ... I decide that ... yes. I can stay a little longer.

So I stayed 30 minutes longer.

....And got a $100 tip for doing so.

There's no decimal point in that figure, kids.

One hundred dollars.

And while talking to one woman who asked me if DJing is all I do, I told her I had a day job and all the money I make from my DJ work goes to my four year-old's college education fund.


And then she told everyone else that I'm here to put my kid through school.

And they MELTED.

And I had probably 10 people walk up to me and tell me how noble and honorable that was that I took on an extra job to pay for my kid's education.

And I'm all ... huh?

I just thought that's what parents do.

They make sacrifices for their kids.

This just happens to be a "fun" sacrifice that I can charge a lot of money for and get away with it.

It beats robbing banks which would involve more planning than playing a party.

Anyway, they PROMISED that they would be getting me lots of jobs so my son could get the education he deserves.

And while I was packing up, they were loudly discussing who all they could turn me on to for parties.

An incredibly positive night.

And ... as we all just discovered ... when Uncle Bob has an incredibly positive night, it makes for an incredibly dull entry.

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