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6:33 a.m. - 2006-02-10


Yesterday I took Andrew to daycare.

I get him to the place and we're putting his stuff in his cubby when a little boy speaks up.

"Andrew got in trouble yesterday!" he chirps.


My boy??

My boy doesn't get in trouble, son. You must have him confused with another little angel around here.

Still, the situation warranted an investigation.

"Andrew," I said, falling to one knee to get that all-important eye contact with him. "Did you get in trouble at school yesterday?"

Andrew, the master of avoiding all eye contact, turned his head and nodded "yes".

Well, I'll be damned.

I can assure you ... this whole "trouble" thing didn't come up at Wednesday's dinner conversation.

Andrew sat down to watch whatever the hell it is that kids watch at daycare while everyone's filing in slowly and I approached his teacher.

"Did Andrew get in trouble yesterday?" I asked.

"Sort of," she said in a squirming tone. "I had to pull him and another boy apart and it was something Andrew started."


My kid.

The bully of the daycare class.

I bet he probably shoved the kid first for stealing something Andrew was playing with.

Then I bet he followed it up with a swift karate chop to the chest, a kick to the knee in order to buckle the knee and then finished him up with a knee to the crotch as the kid was going down.

My boy, the ultimate fighting machine.

"What happened?" I asked, my chest swelling with pride.

"Well," the young girl said. "Andrew went over to his friend Darryl and started hugging and kissing him and wouldn't stop when I asked him to. Darryl was visibly uncomfortable by all the kissing so I had to move Andrew to another table so he'd quit kissing Darryl."

Ummmmm ... okay.

I was then left with no choice but to take Andrew aside and explain to him that even though he really likes his friend Darryl, there's no need to slobber all over the kid like he's an ice cream cone.

Andrew had already been told this by his teacher and agreed that there would be no making out with his friend anymore.


My boy.

The ultimate "Brokeback Mountain" fan.

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