PROFESSOR BOB DISCUSSES HIS LATEST THEORY

You know...when all is said and done, do you know who I think is going to be held responsible for all these Anthrax outbreaks?

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...The sharks.

Think about it...when was the last time you read anything about "The Summer of the Shark"??

It was before all the anthrax stuff, that's for sure.

Here's my theory, and it's a damned good one because I just came up with it a few minutes ago.

There was a time when all you heard about was "The Sharks". How the sharks were eating anybody they could get their fins on.

Then September 11th happened.

And as a result...the sharks' Public Relations department hit the skids.

All of a sudden it was "Osama this" and "Osama that" and the sharks had to take a backseat to the lunatic with the funky assed beard.

So...the sharks knew they had to spring into action.

This was going to have to be a little bit more serious than shark attacks in Florida. They were going to have to go nationwide with this attack.

Thus...the anthrax.

Keep in mind...the first case of anthrax discovered was in FLORIDA...home of the shark attacks.

After that, there were other anthrax outbreaks ... with letters postmarked from...say it with me here, kids...FLORIDA.

America is facing a new type of terror.

And that terror is ... sharks with access to anthrax.

God help us all.

I noticed last night during the credits of "South Park" that they actually have "Lip Sync Artists" on the show.

These are the people that make sure the construction paper cutouts lips match the dialogue.

I've seen the crude animation on "South Park". And I've decided that this must be the easiest job in the world. These kids HAVE NO LIPS. How the hell do you lip sync something using a cast with no lips?

I want that job.

Well, I've moved everything into my new office which has more room in it than most 4 bedroom homes.

My desk is about twice as big as the one I was using. I opened one of the drawers and guess what???

Osama bin Laden was hiding in there!!

...Gawsh...I never get tired of that joke...

Anyway, I'm waiting for one of the computer guys to move my computer and junk into my new office, because it's very intricate and needs proper attention.

...Or so I've been told.

It's time for lunch and I'm starving.

Catch ya on the flipside, Potsie.