sarah - 2004-04-20 07:38:04
haha. the whole terror child part cracked me up. i laughed out loud at work.
Arianna - 2004-04-20 07:50:04
I hate Terror children. I was a pretty wimpy tomboy, and I still have a deep loathing for nasty four-seven year old boys. Good on ya UB. Teaching Andrew to share is waaaay less important than pissing off the terror child. Stupid kid.
sassy - 2004-04-20 08:13:59
Nothing pisses me off faster than a kid running around being a complete an utter asshole with no parent to sit his ass down. You're makin the world a better place UB. I'm just sayin'.
SillyRed - 2004-04-20 08:24:01
Well, I think that Terror Child stories are going to be interesting. Almost like a new Nosey-Assed Neighbor.
Hank - 2004-04-20 08:44:19
Ahhh, yes. N-AN. I had forgotten about that. Well, maybe the "Terror Child" is somehow in the same family tree as the Nosey-Assed Neighbor. Guess all has been well with Pervy, too*they've been staying faaar away from your home). Haven't seen his name in here in months.
Gary - 2004-04-20 08:50:18
Just how do you decapitate someone's ass?
kathy - 2004-04-20 08:58:23
Time to yank the battery out of that damn kids truck! Your word against his.
Courtney - 2004-04-20 09:20:03
We had a kid like that on my block for a while. He wore a policeman's uniform and mirrored sunglasses all the time, and I swear he looked just like the improved terminator from the second movie. He and his siblings would take mail out of people's mailboxes and go in and look around people's houses if they left their doors unlocked. Whenever anyone confronted the parents, they just kinda grinned and shrugged. Assholes.
Donna - 2004-04-20 09:29:27
At least your "terror child" dosnt swear, drink alcohol and smoke at the age of 5! The children where i live are DEMONS!! Think yourself lucky...we live on a small cul-de-sac in a nice area and the child across the road is EVIL! She throws eggs at houses, scratches cars with her 2p's and even puts not very nice things through peoples letter boxes! I hope your "terror child" dosnt turn into an evil demon like the one on our street!
Super Hick - 2004-04-20 09:36:48
I laughed my ass off at Terror Child. Such a great read, but still honest. They terrorize other children, and their parents are probably horrible tippers when you babysit. At least you didn't mention that he had a mullet and a Nascar shirt on. Some of the really bad ones go all hillbilly on your ass and wreck your things as soon as you're not home. I would advise cutting the brakes on the John Deere, but some afterthought causes me to change my mind, as he might be aiming for Andrew the next time he jumps on the thing. Terror Children are worse than Jim Carrey from "The Cable Guy."
artgnome - 2004-04-20 10:03:45
Military base...huh. I live in the East Coast version of SanFrancisco where there are about 8 single women to one man here. Irony. As for battery operated trucks, I have one suggestion: wirecutters.
Kay R - 2004-04-20 10:06:33
Sounds like those women could really have some fun what with the 1 to 8 ratio. Heh. I laughed my ass off at the terror kid. What a great idea you had! To Courntey: Man that would be so bad to have kids like that in the neighborhood. I would tell the non caring parents what those kids are doing with the mail is a federal offense and I am sure the police wouldn't mind putting a little scare into them about illegal entry.
Laurie - 2004-04-20 10:08:28
Uncle Bob! You could fly in single diarylander women to the bar! Yay!
hooterville - 2004-04-20 10:42:03
Bleh. It's really angering when parents just let their kids run around and terrorize other folks without supervision. When I was still in high school there was this annoying little girl who lived behind my mom's house with her grandma. She was so ugly it fucking hurt to look at her: buck teeth, cross-eyed and all pudgy with the most nasal, irritating voice you can imagine. It was actually a little sad, because they were really poor, and the grandma was so fat she couldn't move around much to work, let alone play with her. Every time you'd settle on the porch to read the paper or relax in general, there she was. EVERYTHING she saw, she wanted.
"What's that?"
"That's a hibachi, Amy."
"Can I have it?"
"No, Amy."
"Oh. What's that?"
"A lawn chair."
"Can I have THAT?"
And so on and so forth. Child homicide never looked so tempting.
Kate - 2004-04-20 11:07:41
Hi Uncle Bob. Have you heard of the CLEAN-UP act that is being pushed through Congress? Some anti drug effort that will hold bands, bars, clubs or whatever responsible if a patron does drugs at their venue. Since you are in the club biz and occasionally the ganga I thought you might be interested in this: I wont be offended if you remove it from you site. Take care, Purpletophat
Gillian - 2004-04-20 12:41:57
Speaking as a Marine Wife...where there are military men, there are, shall we say "loose" girls. Just try to attract those girls to the clubs and you should be good to go. Oohrah! :p
warcrygirl - 2004-04-20 13:19:00
Terror Child eh? Cutting the brakes won't matter because there are no brakes. When the kid takes his foot off the "gas" the thing stops. I know cuz my own little monster has one. Just cut the wires on the battery or better yet just take the whole stinkin' battery. They cost $50 to replace and if this poor kids parents are that lazy they won't shell out $50 everytime it goes missing. This kid is a bully in the making. And as far as kids removing mail from mailboxes...just call the cops. Be sure to videotape the future Career Criminals in the act. Thank god (in my neighborhood) I'm surround by old people...
sandy - 2004-04-20 18:21:44
I have some vampire fangs in my mouth that work well when shown to terror children when making a point to them.
Dave - 2004-04-20 18:37:33
man, you gotta love a "Marine Wife" who is confident enough to suggest that you recruit some "loose" girls to your clubs. Oohrah indeed!
Bix Bender - 2004-04-20 22:46:42
...Mom sez: "all they want is your attention." This holds true until age 79, in my opinion. Have you asked the 'rents over for a drink? They want attention, too.
Wendyloo - 2004-04-21 04:42:01
the bars do no business on Sat. because all the guys are in Panama City Beach watching wet t-shirt contests not that I'm suggesting you bring that to these, you probably can't by law anyway
Gillian - 2004-04-21 10:16:01
Hey, I was suggesting them for the SINGLE guys!
Katherine - 2004-04-21 22:47:25
The last time I politely asked the five kids who belonged to one set of parents if they could stop the loud noise in the alley, their father spent months threatening me (I had to phone the police). I quickly realized that the shittiest kids have REALLY SHITTY parents. I wish people couldn't just breed indiscriminately.

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