JP - 2004-06-29 07:58:08
From all of the hell and grief that your No-Good, Coke-Swilling, $6,00-owing, Porn-Surfing Brother-In-Law has given you through the years, don't you think this is the very least you could do back to him. I say squeeze one off into a sock and tie that sock around the handle. Good as f'n new.
D - 2004-06-29 08:05:56
What you have done is unforgivable, and I hope someone tills your face and breaks your handle, you bastard. Okay, I'm kidding. It happens. Tell him about the lawnmower and buy him a bottle of scotch as an apology. ...or, band with him and sue the garage door company!
SP - 2004-06-29 08:07:05
Awww UB! That sux :(
Hank - 2004-06-29 08:39:00
Why were you tilling your lawn again? I do it every year for my father for his garden so that the dirt is soft to dig a hole in to plant a plant. I'm not quite sure I understand why you tilled your lawn to plant grass seed. Shouldn't you have just pulled the grass out? What am I missing here.
Craig - 2004-06-29 09:53:38
sod, sod, sod it's instant grass you just have to water the hell out of it and no seed is needed.
Doug - 2004-06-29 10:03:17
Bob, Bob, Bob..... Oh the sweet irony of it all. Now you have two responsible things to do. You can do it, sure you can. First take the high road and buy a new handle (or at a minimum have it repaired correctly). Unless I'm mistaken, socks and duct tape weren't on the parts list when it was bought. Second....fix the garage door opener!! If that thing has enough down force to snap/twist/maim a metal handle, think of what it would do to something soft, like your head. Not that you make a habit of laying in the path of garage doors, but you never know. I was once told that you should make it so it would reverse before it crushed a roll of paper towels (since that is about as hard as a child's body). At least here in the mid-west, snow is a little more solid than a roll of paper towels so the cat and the kids have been doing crunches to toughen up.
Kelly in HSV - 2004-06-29 10:08:42
THAT is the absolute perfect story. There has never been a more perfect story written. HAHAHAHA!
kaki321 - 2004-06-29 10:33:22
What, no mention of the shaved head? Why don't you till your head then tell us all about it UB? :-)
peachsncreem - 2004-06-29 10:54:21
ub!! theres only two things to do, one put a sock and duck tape on it, or two buy or repair the tiller.
kaitlin - 2004-06-29 11:22:37
yeah right, I bet you subconsciously did that on purpose uncle bob. haha, I just made a type-o and wrote uncle boob- you should consider a name change :)
Ash - 2004-06-29 12:44:34
At least you may have a better idea of what happened to your stuff.
pinkytusk - 2004-06-29 13:59:05
dude did you remove the old grass before you tilled? From the photo it looks like you just tilled up the grass and weeds and then re-seaded.
JuddHole - 2004-06-29 14:57:34
Just tell 'im the preacher did it.
That fucker deserves it.
elayne - 2004-06-29 16:58:32
I was thinking this must be a different brother in law, because wouldn't a guy have a tiller, in apparently good condition, probably also have a lawnmower or at least repair it a bit better if he broke a borrowed one? So.. is this is a different brother in law, or the same one? Also, do you even read the comments on here, or are they just here for us to amuse ourselves and feel like we're contributing to the UncleBobosity of it all? And I second the vote on fixing the garage door... at least it was just a tiller handle and not Andrew!
mary - 2004-06-29 19:21:27
Oh man, the first thing I thought of was "Andrew!", when you wrote about the damn garage door "snapping" a metal handle. Holy shit! I had a manual garage door the first ten years, when we built this house in 2001, my younger son and I tested the living HELL out of the automatic mechanism. It backs up if anything is in the line of the eye, even a wad of paper. (BTW, I have 2 sons). Bad part, the Kid, even at 16, thinks it's the greatest fun to hit the down button and run under the door. If you run fast enough, it doesn't trigger it. However, not pulling the car in far enough does - over and over and over on your trunk. UB, I think you can get those things recallibrated - with a toddler and all, well geeze....
Me - 2004-06-29 22:46:48
Oh my goodness UB. I've just had the laugh that I needed to lighten the stress of my night. What cruel irony... And, this Murphy person. I really think that we should band together, hunt him down, and have him executed... I'm sick of his fetchin' laws.
pk - 2004-06-30 01:37:26
UB, plant a tree, for the love of Jeebus! Won't you think of the children?
Nero - 2004-06-30 04:03:17
You are the poster boy of irony.

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