Comments:

Ally - 2004-09-13 07:36:06
Yeah! First!
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greenwitch - 2004-09-13 07:49:48
You never should have been the one to fire the previous DJ. Nasty spot to be in especially since she is not going away. See a doctor about the ingrown lash. My dad has that problem all the time. Now the tooth, I don't know about, are you a shark or something? Aren't I helpful this morning as I try to forget how crappy I feel. Have a great day!
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bigpimpinmba - 2004-09-13 08:01:31
Sarah Jessica Parker is the epitome of butterface. There are horses that have her pinned up as a centerfold in their stalls.

Perhaps, someday, they will have a movie about Uncle Bob along the lines of the Elephant Man with all of your new growths. It's a guaranteed hit.
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Wheeliecrone - 2004-09-13 08:22:19
Uncle Bob, Lock the door to the DJ booth when you see her coming toward it. Do not smile. When she tries to hug you, tell her, "This is not appropriate behavior." Ignore her as much as possible. Or - bring along your wife to the gig and let her deal with Busty the piss-poor DJ. Thank Heavens! I thought I was the only one who finds Miss Parker incredibly unattractive.
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warcrygirl - 2004-09-13 08:42:14
My husband loves the girl next door type: Meg Ryan, Sandra Bullock, Sarah Jessica Parker. I'd love to look like one of the first two, but Parker? Ewwy. She looks like John Kerry's love child. Dude, you are just falling to pieces, aren't you? Let's just hope body parts don't start falling off...
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Sandra - 2004-09-13 08:50:01
It could be that Nasty Chick is nagging you on purpose because she knows it makes you uncomfortable. It's like letting her win if you allow yourself to be frustrated. Then again, it doesn't sound like NC has much intellectual horsepower going on up there.
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jen - 2004-09-13 08:58:21
A centerfold for horses....John Kerry's love child. Bwahaha! I'm loving today's comments. I have never understood the appeal of SJP.
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Chi - 2004-09-13 08:58:35
Not only is it possible for wisdom teeth to grow back in sometimes they come back more then once. Almost all my mother's cousins have had their wisdom teeth grow back. Her one cousin had them removed 3 times.
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alison - 2004-09-13 09:43:23
Dear God. I think Sarah Jessica Parker is some kind of monster - her facial structure is just deformed. I walked past the Gap yesterday and they had giant stickers of her up in the window.

So now I know the answer to 'What's uglier than Sarah Jessica Parker?' It's: 'A Sarah Jessica Parker that is 11 feet tall.'
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ChicagoJo - 2004-09-13 10:20:15
I had a bunch of extra wisdom teeth and had to get seven pulled at once. I still have an extra one up there somewhere, so maybe it'll make an appearance again.
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hcatty - 2004-09-13 10:40:22
Completely freaky. My wisdom tooth is comin back, too. Hurts like all holy hell.
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kaki321 - 2004-09-13 10:43:58
Let me just take this opportunity to decalre my lust for Lenny. I am so glad he cut his "prince-like" hair though. Good luck with the dentist UB, I hate going there more than anything.
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Argentum - 2004-09-13 11:22:11
I call it the "bottom eyelid". I dont know. Did I miss a joke somewhere? Was it just really bad?
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April Ann - 2004-09-13 12:01:53
I don't find Sarah Jessica very attractive, either. So much so, that when I was desperate to find a decent looking skirt, I almost went in the Gap, until I noticed that they had a GIANT WINDOW CLING with her likeness plastered on their front window. I informed my husband that skinny, ugly chicks are a terrible way to market clothes, and sharply turned away from their entrance. In case anyone fears I never found my skirt, New York & Company had something that was the perfect fit. (By the way, I know what guys want, in the end. It's not someone who acts desperate and clingy. I think she only does it in a grasping attempt to get her job back.)
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Kelly - 2004-09-13 12:23:46
I think Tina is trying to get you in the sack so she can poison and kill you, as revenge for firing her and taking her job. If SJP put on about 20 pounds, she might look halfway decent. She is WAY too skinny. My husband can't stand her either. I wish Queen Latifah would start marketing the Gap. Or maybe introduce a new store, Gap PLUS, for curvy (ahem) chicks like myself. :-) Cuz a cling of SJP outside The Gap would keep me out of that place, too. Maybe SJP hates The Gap and it's a conspiracy to drive the denim monster into the ground.
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Divaah46 - 2004-09-13 12:37:28
Wow, Uncle Bob, I agree with EVERYTHING you're saying today! You're smart to respect the Roker. Sarah Jessica Parker is the ugliest "sex symbol" ever. As for the fired DJ: Bring your wife's picture with you. Then when she hits on you, show her the picture and tell her you're already owned.
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Jen - 2004-09-13 13:25:20
Wow I thought I was the ONLY person who thinks Sarah Jessica Parker is an ugly whore!!! Sweeeeeet!
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Pirhan - 2004-09-13 13:40:00
Yep, I have to agree, Parker is not a looker. I don't think Diaz is either... but then most people think I'm crazy. I think it's called "lower eye lid" ... that's just a guess.
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Laura - 2004-09-13 13:51:44
I know when I had my wisdom teeth removed, they didn't stay in one piece for the removal, and I had bits and pieces working their way out for weeks afterward. And that hurt like a sumbitch Maybe your new tooth is a wayward bit of tooth finally working its way to the surface. Or maybe it's an alien embryo implantation.
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Moxie - 2004-09-13 15:07:52
Extra wisdom teeth, I was told, can run in families. So said my dentist as a 5th wisdom tooth appeared when I was 30. The skank hitting on you? You need to stop that freight train in its tracks.
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Amnesia - 2004-09-13 15:23:28
Just tell the girl to get bent. Really...no need being so nice.
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Squeakster - 2004-09-13 15:41:04
Tina is attracted to you by your rejection of her. The more you resist, the more persistent she will become. Get a little chummy with the cigarette smoking guys to find out her motive. She is probably trying to save feminine face by "conquering" you. SJP? I believe that human attractiveness, like space, is infinite yet unbounded. That is; you can approach ugly and then at some point you turn back around and are headed back to attractive without realizing when exactly you started going the other way. A person can be sooo ugly they are actually cute (to somebody). In this series of GAP commercials I can't stop wondering why Lenny's head seems to be abnormally HUGE!
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Deareddie - 2004-09-13 17:54:12
Oh, Uncle Bob, while your entry inspired disgust (miles of cleavage, hair growing in the eyeball socket), and terrible mental pictures, you will always make me laugh. Even as I flunk my happy ass out of university. As for Tina, she sees you as a figure she's bonded with. The bar is her "Cheers". You are now her reason to feel comfortable there, the place that rejected her. By "winning" your love, she is re-validating herself. Dunno what you should do about that, but I think the idea about the wife&child picture is a good one.
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epipie - 2004-09-13 19:07:42
Wow. Talk about a bashing spree. I do think that Sarah Jessica Parker looks a tad like Skeletor these days, but back in the 80's she had a lot more baby fat and looked totally cute. She's just a victim of the emaciated hollywood star trend.

Now that ingrown hair? I live for popping zits and things of that ilk, but I don't think you could get me to go near your eyeball if you paid me. Ok. Maybe you would.
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warcrygirl - 2004-09-13 20:00:47
Hey Kelly, Old Navy now has plus size clothes. I haven't been in yet but a friend of mine told me about it tonight. I used to love shopping at Express until I got fat. Oh well, happens to the best of us. Except SJP, holy shit that chick needs a sandwich.
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Tanya - 2004-09-13 21:17:51
Seems like I'm the only one who finds SJP totally adorable. I loved her in sex and the city, and I love the GAP commercial, Lenny is a hot hunk, and Jessica is just too cute. I don't think she's trying to be "sexy" there. Just goofy and playful. I saw her once on an interview, that girl was so sweet,humble and shy. You all suck! hehe
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louise - 2004-09-13 21:32:12
yeah i like sarah jessica parker. although i try as a general rule to distance myself from loathesome mind rotting popular culture, she has really sexy calves and intriguing style none the less. if i were matthew broderick i'd have nothing less. tv...eww
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size 6 - 2004-09-13 21:39:48
Oh, I used to be plus sized too. "Man that girl needs a sandwich" not shopping some place cause the model is skinny? Cries of the insecure fat girl trying to redeem herself in a world of a fake image of what beautiful is.

oh what, you know it's true
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dana - 2004-09-13 22:15:36
that was THE best thing i've read all day. IT'S GROWING INSIDE YOUR EYE SOCKET! that was too lovely, haha. i'm sorry for you though. it sounds pretty gross and scary.
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Kelly - 2004-09-13 22:20:53
Warcrygirl, thanks for the tip! Old Navy is on the other end of town but Plus Size clothes might just get me over there! Size 6, if Roseanne was the model I wouldn't go in there, either. My comment about not going into the store because of SJP was not because she is skinny, but because on a TV-scale she is, at best, scary looking, and in a twice life size scale she would be horrifying. I am not offended by her weight due to an insecurity...if that makes any sense to anyone but me. Yes, I feel she is underweight and she does look rather emaciated. If she looked appealing and healthy it wouldn't deter me from the store. She can represent all she wants and I'll shop there (if they have my size, haha) but I'd rather be spared from ANYONE'S image projected double size on a store window. And I am not an insecure fat girl. Girl, yes. Fat, that's a matter of personal opinion. Insecure, nuh-uh.
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Mojey - 2004-09-13 22:56:26
OMG someone finally said it! I have seen tabloids with SJP on the red carpet and "get her look" type articles. I have seen her in sexpot roles. I have scratched my head and wondered "Has the world gone mad? Why does everyone miss the fact that she has a face like a hatful of assholes?"
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Willie Ray - 2004-09-14 00:26:15
My sister thinks SJP looks like a witch with a wart on her nose. I think she's hot and I loved "Sex in the City." Part of her appeal to me is she has a unique look and she's spunky and kooky.
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Mel - 2004-09-14 04:22:09
In the nursing world, we refer to it as "lower lid"...
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Jointheclub - 2004-09-14 14:18:11
I also dislike SJP. I had to wonder what the hell is going on when I see someone as ugly as her in Gap commercials. I thought it was just me! Thanks to y'all for pointing it out! How come Gap doesn't sell Plus-sized clothes? Doesn't that company OWN the Navy one?? (Heard that.) I don't like the boring shit at the Gap, either, now that I think of it. Maybe SJP does belong in commercials for it, after all. They are all ugly. I think you should watch that chick you fired, she might be trying something fishy. I wouldn't give her the time of day!
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footfoot! - 2004-09-15 00:47:05
I learned this in my animal anatomy class... the ingrown hair is in the lower eyelid in the palebral area of the conjuctiva. weee
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Dawn - 2004-09-15 14:04:32
Don't see the appeal of SJP, prefer Kristin Davis when I watch Sex and the City. And for real, SJP, a sexpot??? Huh? Oh look! The sky's falling down! I'd say those ads would be almost as bad as the Paris Hilton ads for Guess! ewww.
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just another girl - 2004-09-15 17:36:18
not to be a total douche, but it's sex AND the city. not sex IN the city. she was on 'square pegs' - good enough for me. her icing on the cake is probably footloose. she's nowhere near as horsey as alanis morrissette. or is it morissette? either way.
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