Drww - 2004-11-19 08:50:35
First Post! Yeeha! UB, you are a genius. It's the Simon Cowell effect - it's "in" to be ripped on. I may have to start a new moonlighting job in the Kareoke circuit - my talent for creative putdowns is one of the few gift the good Lord gave me.
Alana - 2004-11-19 08:52:53
Clicky on my name and listen to some pycho that is leaving messages on some voice mail
michelle - 2004-11-19 09:09:27
LMAO! you actually said that stuff to people? too cool.
Barb - 2004-11-19 09:18:00
Feeeeeeeelings..... nothing more than Feeeeeeeelings. la-la-la
D - 2004-11-19 09:38:04
..."You should try singing tenor"...ten or twelve miles away. (Old favorite). While it's true, my dear, that All God's creatures have a place in the choir, your place is clearly near the back. Shine on, you crazy pebble/rhinestone/cubic zirconia. I'm not saying I'd *rather* put a cheesegrater to my forehead than listen to you, I'm just saying I see my options more clearly now.
Gumphood - 2004-11-19 09:42:18
I socks
BigPimpinMBA - 2004-11-19 09:43:07
How about, "I think I remember hearing your greatest hits to torture the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay to get a confession."

Or maybe just stick with the insults you were using because I obviously suck.
Big Chuck Heston - 2004-11-19 10:08:17
Uncle Bob, Uncle Bob, you're just an old softie. Next Karoake Night, after the first songbird has screeched, pull a huge, chrome, Dirty Harry-style magnum from behind your back and, with a roar and flash of fire, splatter the fool's face and skull across the dance floor. Then smile and call, "Next?" It shouldn't take more than a couple of weeks until nobody wants Karoake Night anymore. And you'll be doing the rest of us a big, big favor.
Andy - 2004-11-19 10:11:25
The Simon Cowell angle is brillant. I always liked the Chuck Barris style too. You just need to find a large Gong.

I don't think that I can take it 'Cause it took so long to bake it And I'll never have that recipe again Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, no!
Karen - 2004-11-19 10:45:01
All this AND you get to pick up piss. You sure are a lucky dog!
Gumphood - 2004-11-19 11:43:04
Change of Heart: I hate my socks.
Hee hee! - 2004-11-19 11:51:02
My favorite is, "I've heard cats fuck with better harmony." An oldie from Andrew Dice Clay.
Carol - 2004-11-19 12:33:26
Alana - that chick on the voice mail is trippy! I can't believe she rambled on and on and on and ... you get my point. Hey everybody, click on Alana's name and listen to the trippy chick!
Squeakster - 2004-11-19 13:06:10
Alana has succesfully hijacked UB's comments section today. Caller's ideal destination: South Pole. Not near it, literally ON IT!
Elle - 2004-11-19 14:38:40
UB, you can always get a job at Dick's Restaurant where they, too, pay you to be rude to the customers. I'd love to get paid for that, but I hate the public enough not to want to wait on them.
Earthchild44 - 2004-11-19 18:36:51
Alana, that was the longest crap I ever heard. What kind of psychotics is that woman on?
cosmicrayola - 2004-11-19 21:01:44
And my favorite oldie, "Wow! You should be on a stage, There's one leaving in 10 minutes! (As in, stagecoach. So I'm old, wanna make something of it?)
itsmylife - 2004-11-20 08:45:21
"You should sing solo. So low we can't hear you."
kt - 2004-11-20 14:52:55
I swear I have a CD with a song that is one of that lady's messages set to music. The voice sounds exactly the same and she's talking about dreaming about having a baby that was a talking dog. And talking about stopping her medication. Not a good idea, honey. Is there some person out there who gets regular messages from a weirdo and puts them out over various media?
Jamie - 2004-11-20 21:42:15
I'm gonna start calling you Simon.
loveit - 2004-11-21 22:04:28
absolutely brilliant insults. you should publish a book of them!
Robin saint James - 2005-05-23 21:39:32
That is brilliant and one hell of a new way to get people into your show. I just wrote a book (Karaoke krazy on Amazon). You must let me use this stuff for the next one. You are hysterical!
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