Comments:

Fuzzy - 2005-02-03 10:10:06
Uncle Bob, I love you. I have had the same thought about a similar bunch of signs to hold up to idiot drivers, including standard ones where you would fill in the "Speed limit is --, asshole".
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Outfoxed - 2005-02-03 10:12:43
I can still remember the entry where you and Edweird were in the car behind a poking Granny on the highway. "Ram the bitch," he screamed. "Ram her!" God I do love it so.
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Andy - 2005-02-03 10:23:29
I'm glad to hear that you do not recommend actually killing someone because they're a bad driver. I bet in many states this is probably illegal.
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rebecca - 2005-02-03 10:24:22
I have an internet boyfriend in Georgia as well, hmmmm I wonder????
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Lori - 2005-02-03 10:25:36
Ooohh, I want one Uncle Bob! It would be so much easier than me having to heft that bullhorn to scream at people. Where do I send my money to?
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Sweet Reagan - 2005-02-03 10:27:14
I've thought of that invention myself. I've even expounded on it. You know how all the new cars have Navigation on them, with the voice that actually tells you when to turn? This would be similar and enforceably installed in EVERY car. Basically, it would have a transmitter in it that would pick up and send signals to whatever car you want it to (next to you, directly in front of you, behind you, or even several cars ahead or behind). You could choose to let the receipricant know who sent it or not (thus, eliminating the creation of a "road-stalker" - new term: someone who actually does follow you to your destination so they can kill you). You type in or program standard messages to be broadcast over their radio/navigation-system-voice when they do stupid things like cut you off, drive 35 in the fast lane holding up a line of 10 cars, etc.
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BigPimpinMBA - 2005-02-03 10:43:16
That invention would have only been good today for letting the guy behind you know that the old coot in front of you was the problem. I can see you getting all pissed, and writing something, forgetting that it will display to the person behind you, and ending up being stalked on your way home by Bubba, who just got out of prison.

Headline: "Internet Blogger killed because obscene message read by wrong person."
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withered one - 2005-02-03 10:49:40
Hey, don't laugh. My wife's internet boyfriend lives in Georgia. They meet in Atlanta area hotels while I go to work. Where in Georgia is your wife?
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anon - 2005-02-03 11:06:27
That's funny I have an Internet Mistress who lives in Georgia. Who knew it was such a hotbed for infidelity.
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Dea - 2005-02-03 11:12:29
UB you are so funny... which may be the lamest statment on here, but it's true. (you being funny and me being lame) Anyhow slow drivers are nasty, but I would hate to point out the (maybe not so) obvious, if you are following someone who is slow and making you mad, how would a litebrite in the rear view help you? If you could rig it somehow so it also showed on your grill in reverse, like the ambulance sign then it would work. But then you wouldn't need it in the rear at all, because you wouldn't be telling the person behind you to hurry up... cause then you would have their car up your ass.... hmm but it's a thought. I want one tho. I live in a town of old people who drive around doing 30kms ALL THE FREEKIN TIME. Congrats FUZZY on being first! :o)
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tali - 2005-02-03 11:18:05
and what if that had been your grandmother? you'll be there someday.
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Squeakster - 2005-02-03 11:29:42
He's Baaa-aaack! I recall Matt Helm had a gold Ford T-Bird that broadcasted text messages across the tail lights and rear reflector panel. I always wondered why no car manufacturer picked up on it. At the very least it would be more informative in an emergency than warning flashers. But then nobody knows who Matt Helm was, either.
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Squeakster - 2005-02-03 11:37:48
I forgot: I prefer old drivers to drive speeds at which they are comfortable. Several years ago an old geezer got confused and stepped on the accelerator instead of the brakes and plowed into a gang of people (killing a bunch) at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market. The only other option is to get the old folks off the road and that means somebody else (read: you and me!) will have to ferry them everywhere, all the time.
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Slider - 2005-02-03 11:39:40
http://www.batteryspace.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=1147 Up to 98 presets. NICE.
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Me - 2005-02-03 11:57:34
UB--Take a deep breath, count to 10 and remember one day you will be that age and do the same thing.
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That Girl - 2005-02-03 12:03:40
I used to have signs in my car when i drove all the time. I would hold them up as I passed whatever ass was giving me problems. My favorite idea was that we should have paintball guns attached to the front and back of our cars and whenever someone was being a jerk, boom. That way, the multi-colored cars would be a warning by themselves and maybe while cleaning their cars some of these jerks would repent their driving ways. When my sister visited Johannasberg a few years ago, carjacking had become a major problem. So people had outfitted their cars with flamethrowers which they used at will. Now THATS harsh. But i bet the learning curve was pretty quick.
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Xeran - 2005-02-03 12:25:50
I know this sounds rather out in left field, but couldn't you simply flash your headlights and then motion for her to get over once you got her attention? Leave it to the fucking engineer to solve the problem AND make you feel like a complete idiot.
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hmm. - 2005-02-03 13:54:01
actually, you couldn't have used the lite brite unless you got in front of her, in which case you wouldn't really need to as bad.
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Jodeci - 2005-02-03 14:04:22
UB- We are so totally on the same page. I have always wanted to invent a little radar gun that instead of tracking someone's speed, it would send messages into their radio like "Hey dickweed, it's 55!", or "It's nighttime, moron. Use your headlights!". You could preprogram messages or make up one on the spot and then just point and shoot. Some drivers are just so fricken oblivious. Now I always mutter to myself (which drives my husband crazy)about how I wish I really did have that radio gun to yell at bad drivers. THATGIRL- I am completely on board with cars that have flamethrowers. That would be so awesome.
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awittykitty - 2005-02-03 14:37:37
I'm mostly the recipient of road rage because I actually stop at stop signs.
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Jenn O - 2005-02-03 15:33:33
I remember not too long ago you were flashing your lights for people to slow down because a "cop" was up ahead, Hmmmmm, sounds like a little pay back????
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Courtney - 2005-02-03 16:24:53
I experienced road rage to the nth degree just yesterday morning, when I really did consider following the offender and bludgeoning them once they reached their destination. I won't bore you with the details. Suffice to say brakes were heavily involved and the result was salad dressing all over the floor of my front passenger seat. My car now smells like salad. I get hungry every time I go anywhere.
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Libragirl - 2005-02-03 18:22:20
So, 55 is not an idea...you are really supossed to do it. No way...Good to know. Also if you are in the right lane on the highway and by an exit, either speed up or slow down so I CAN GET ON THE DAMN ROAD. I don't enjoy having to get on and off the parkway cause you are a jerkoff who can't drive. (yes, that is what happened today), it was either get off the parkway or hit the car, I choose the lesser of two evils.
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Carolyn J. - 2005-02-03 19:19:18
Xeran, what makes you think little old ladies look in their rear view mirrors? They can't even see over the steering wheels. The only thing that gets their attention is sound, and even then half the time they're deaf as posts too.
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Halo Askew - 2005-02-03 20:27:40
Yes, yes, the electronic message board on the automobile...I too thought of such an idea years ago, but realized that it would get so out of hand with the cuss words, and some sour puss housewife would get all bent out of shape and start a group (FUCKING MADD), and many more people would wind up dead on the roads as a result (boo HOO), which means of course, it'll be offered on QVC next week. And we both lost out on a load of cash. Fuck. And by the way, if you want to hear some serious ranting on old folks at the grocery store, check my entry from the other day!
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Halo Askew - 2005-02-03 20:33:21
Oh...and after reading this comment string, I must tell the world I know who Matt Helm is! Dean Martin played him...A drunk version of 007! How fucking awesome is that?
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Jamie - 2005-02-03 20:40:06
Speaking of Andy.... what is he, four now? If you ask me, it's about time you had a second. You're not getting any younger. But staying at least remotely on topic, I had a rather car-filled day myself. With the most irritating person on the planet.
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liss - 2005-02-03 21:01:15
i hate people who drive with their highbeams on because its a little foggy or for no reason at all. the light reflects on the fog and makes it worse. buy fog lights. !!. my highbeams are higher than theirs anyway. i like flashing mine at them or just leaving them on like a kid with a magnifying glass on an ant. which probably annoys them more than they annoy me.
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George - 2005-02-05 12:07:11
1) Paint ball guns with colors that correspond to the infractions. "Hey, look at that car all splattered with red. That guy totally rolls right turns without stopping." etc. 2) LightBrite on the back, OK, but how about LightBrite on the front so that the letters are reversed! Guys in front of you could read them in their rear view mirrors. Like 'ECNALUBMA' now (only with the letters turned around too). 3) Better would be a laser that 'writes' your message on the inside of their window. They have them, think of laser light shows. You type it in, you aim it through the car, it reads out on their windshield while they drive. Military has it and calls it a HUD or Heads Up Display. 4) OK, we all want a guided missile to launch at the idiot in front of us but that's not really going to happen. But what about a POTATO GUN?? Mounted low and infront, you fire it at the offending car's tailpipe. Potato goes up there and blocks off the exhaust. Car stops, they don't know why. No damage but they're stymied and 5 miles behind you. 5) I got a million of them.
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guide wild orchid - 2005-10-12 07:44:41

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New Delhi (PTI): His perfect 10 at the same venue against the same opponents now cricketing lore, Anil Kumble would renew his tryst with Ferozeshah Kotla when he makes his debut as Indian captain in the first of the three Test matches against Pakistan starting here on Thursday. Given a choice, Kumble would have loved to roll the 22 yard Kotla strip, pack it in his bag and take it home after he claimed all 10 wickets in Pakistan's second innings in that unforgettable second Test in 1999. Since then, Kumble has become one of the most senior players in the dressing room, and when he walks out for the toss with counterpart...
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zbijonpfuz - 2007-11-27 02:48:04
Tracy McGrady scored 35 points and Yao Ming had 22 points and 13 rebounds, and the Rockets snapped a six game losing streak with a 109 81 win over the Denver Nuggets on Saturday night. On the plane ride back from Friday's loss to Miami, McGrady told Yao that he thought they were trying to carry too much of the offensive load and opponents were keying on them. They were forced to do that in recent seasons, without other good offensive options. New coach Rick Adelman has introduced an offence that was supposed to take the scoring burden off McGrady and Yao. And they were back to running it on Saturday night, getting teammates involved and running the floor for easy baskets. "We said we have to get back to playing the type of offence we played in the beginning of the season and that's what we did," McGrady said of the conversation. "Tonight showed how good we...
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nqttpmbjas - 2007-11-27 02:50:26
When will we ever learn: Be careful what you wish from the Lions, like steering more offense toward Johnson. He did end up with seven catches for 83 yards, both career highs, but five of his catches and his TD came in the fourth quarter, the too little, too late portion of the game. Lions Nation's new assignment is a two parter. Everybody call in to talk radio and ask: Why don't they get the ball to Aveion Cason more? Why don't they score more touchdowns? Quick hits • The familiar handwriting was on the wall for this one in the first quarter, when everything went right for the Lions up to a point but their settle for field goals offense produced only a 6 0 lead, thanks to penalties and sacks. • Then came the first two plays of the second quarter: a Jon Kitna interception, a Brett Favre touchdown pass, 7 6...
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atlecbnmnx - 2007-11-27 06:54:45
High court hears case of lost 401(k) funds Los Angeles Times

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vhcaxdwyst - 2007-11-27 08:00:31
75 per cent of young drivers text while driving: new survey Melbourne Herald Sun

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obfgdgsutc - 2007-11-27 10:06:18
same sex couples raising children less likely to be white, wealthy San Francisco Chronicle

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8 ways to increase fertility

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The People's Pharmacy: Painful leg cramps Houston Chronicle

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Sign of turnaround in LA Boston Globe

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can egg stop me gambling online? Guardian Unlimited

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China deplores Dalai Lama's statement on successor as violation of... Hindu
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COMPUTER: FIND ME THE BUS ROUTE TO THE NEAREST STARBUCKS
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Canada in pledge over Taser death BBC News
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Pechanga Resort & Casino Selects the MICROS OPERA Enterprise Solution
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Ghana: NDC Accusation of NPP is Political Gimmick Obed Asamoah
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vod: Five left on the sidelines Guardian Unlimited
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BB&T to host free payments webinar for business owners
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Fleetwood Maintains Focus on Innovation With Introduction of New...
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buwykguiex - 2007-11-28 00:15:15
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After 3 wins in Orlando, NC State back on track
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HK stocks close lower after fresh subprime concerns
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UN 'out of touch' on torture: Taser boss
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As in Annapolis meeting, road for Ravens tough to negotiate
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couples increases his skins games bankroll by holing shot from bunker
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With Jackson hurting, Hawkins has swooped in San Francisco Chronicle
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Marriott International and Motorola Team Up for the Connected Traveler
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uconn is ticketed for Meineke Bowl Boston Globe
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Duke turns up the tempo in blowout San Francisco Chronicle
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Environmental groups slam lifting of GM ban
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Sensex beats US, global indices with best return in November Hindu
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And What Comes Next Wall Street Journal
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Airvana Announces Innovations in EV DO Technology
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Cardinal Health Signs Agreement with Novation for Presource(R...
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Give broiled or grilled catfish a taste of the tropics with exotic... The Canadian Press
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Football: Cavaliers put to the sword
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transalta sees powerful growth in renewables and 'carbon neutral' coal The Canadian Press
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Baylor Goes With uh's Briles As Coach The Associated Press
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Birds of prey adapt their habits to the urban landscape
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Scientists pinpoint sunniest places on earth Guardian Unlimited
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Higgins strikes deal with major shareholder to purchase...
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Life in China Telegraph Mentor
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Bank of America won't comment on Citi merger speculation
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Daughter of Argentina 'disappeared' becomes lawmaker Reuters
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The CNN/youtube Debate: Are The Videos "Serious" Enough For The GOP?
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Men's Wearhouse 3Q net earnings up 17%, in line with analyst estimates
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Baltimore Ravens' offence just not the same without Todd Heap The Canadian Press
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Corel to close Minneapolis site, focus Digital Media work in... The Canadian Press
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Today on the Presidential Campaign Trail Forbes
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How to put the sense of mystery back into games Guardian Unlimited
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Christmas books: Reference
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Scariest call police officer can receive is 'shots fired' Minneapolis Star Tribune
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A Daughter Dies Suddenly, and a Mother Loses Her Way New York Times
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Eastwood and Sheridan: Directing runs in their families USA Today
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Juries to get advice on rape 'myths'
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This Year Santa Plays Poker Reuters
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Supratek Pharma Inc. announced today that under the Special Protocol Reuters
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Sharpening our senses through fiction reading
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Effective Control Transport Inc. Shareholder Update and Nomination... Reuters
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What the Acorn Grew Up to See New York Times
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epliveonline and Autism Today Form Strategic Alliance Reuters
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Healthy fish dinners come with lessons in sustainability
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Two suburban men accused of sending porn to 'teens' Philadelphia Inquirer
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qrmbvntonk - 2007-11-30 04:39:15
Flip Saunders Q&A: On getting tossed out and believing 'Sheed... Detroit Free Press
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Roundup / Michigan can talk with lsu's Miles after SEC title game
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Wales flanker named in a star studded Baa Baas side
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News Music, movie, Entertainment MY BLOODY VALENTINE: 'WE ARE... PR
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Geneva(R) Delivers Robust Operations and Accounting Platform to... Reuters
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Today on the Presidential Campaign Trail The Associated Press
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NFC has Cowboys, Packers and not much else NFL ESPN
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Carolina hits the road for the Big Ten/ACC Challenge.
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iTeknik Holding Corporation Announces Intention of Becoming Fully... Reuters
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Back to front path to band's success New Zealand Herald
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yylsoeadia - 2007-11-30 19:30:24
The Closing Bell: Stocks pause ahead of Bernankeâs speech
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Randlett's book of black and white photos gives iconic images a...
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Round 2 Set in FCC Versus Cable Fight The Associated Press
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Donald's Trumptown dream in the dunes is dented by conservationist...
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I was able to get the interception, guys were blocking for me all over the place and man, it was just a good play. " And for Hasselbeck, it's good to have another chance for redemption at Lambeau Field. Women #1 UConn 65, Syracuse 59: Maya Moore scored all 13 of her points in the second half and grabbed 17 rebounds to help the Huskies hold off host Syracuse. "My feeling is that...
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