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Comments:
Emma - 2005-02-07 08:27:53
twice in a row!
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Michele - 2005-02-07 08:32:04
Uncle Bob, I hear ya on that song. However, one part of it might not be as offensive as you think - the "support check" she sings of is probably referring to child support from the baby's father. I don't think anyone calls their welfare check a 'support check' Still that song is truly a bad message for young girls.
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Carrie - 2005-02-07 08:32:24
Being a single mom sucks. But nobody should glorify it with a song. I know plenty of single moms who do it on thier own without welfare, but it's a common thing in some places. I was on welfare for about 2 years and it sucks. And when ur ex doesn't want to pay child support, it's even worse. Maybe if he robbed the quckie mart? hmmm
And sorry about ur neighbour. Divorce affects us alll.
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michelle - 2005-02-07 08:41:38
i totally forgot about how tasty government cheese is...
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Jack - 2005-02-07 08:42:48
what about if the single mom is an unemployed bum living with her parents and is hitting you up for child support when you're working your ass off 60 hours a week just to live paycheck to paycheck?
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Karen - 2005-02-07 08:50:24
Yeah, it's all the woman's fault for getting knocked up. No blame should go on the sperm donor who didn't bother using protection right? I mean, it's not HIS fault at all, he's not responsible! Give me a fucking break.
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artgnome - 2005-02-07 08:51:49
My husband decided to make a single mom out of me, locking me out of our house when I was one month pregnant with our son, then went to church and lied about it. I worked my ass off while on welfare and did not waste one cent of tax payer money, as I have been a taxpayer for years. I agree with you, Uncle Bob. I have been celibate for over 10 years, and no one is putting me in that kind of position ever again. I am at college now, working my ass off some more, and I want you NY taxpayers to know I now have a 3.5 GPA and plan to contribute richly once again, someday, as soon as I am able. Welfare should not be a living, and it's sad that these girls(and boys)raised in poverty are continually taught to settle for less in life. And I'd happily give up child support to make that asshole of an ex just go away forever. I've learned I do just fine on my own, and am setting a good example for my son.
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Dee - 2005-02-07 08:51:57
Jack, not to be to serious on a Monday, but I would say you still have a responsibility to the child you fathered, regardless of what the unemployed bum does or does not do.
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HRT - 2005-02-07 08:55:55
Yeah, I have to back Michelle on that one G, the line "support check" is the money that the low-down-dead-beat of a Father ain't paying cause he's off beatin' up his other baby's mama.
Not to piss on your opinions and whatnot, but if life were as simple as you make it, don't you think that more than a handful of people would have escaped the ghetto slums? You might want to pick up a sociology or history book and see how SOME people in this country have seriously and royally fucked over some OTHER people in this country. When you take a group of people fuck them over mind body and soul for 400 years and then expect them to completely catch up in a mere 30 or 40 years don't be surprised if it takes some of them a little longer than others. It's kind of like when you have one of those morbidly obese people who are say 7 or 800 pounds overweight, you don't get that way overnight and you don't lose the weight overnight. God, you people and your generalizing simplistic solutions, you make me want to kick you in your Got damn head. Drive the fuck out of bumfuck whitey-white America and actually meet a struggling "welfare-Mother" before you cast your fucking generalizations.
Signed,
Son of a Single Mother who used to live in the ghetto bitch
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Eryn - 2005-02-07 09:01:18
Karen. it takes two to tango. maybe the guy didn't use protection, but then it's the girl's responsibility to say "if you don't put a hat on that thing, you can just go ahead and leave". or at least go to Planned Parenthood the next day and get the morning after pill. they don't ask questions.
growing up i know a lot of teenage girls who got pregnant because they thought it would make their boyfriends stick around longer, or because they were lonely and thought a baby was their source of unconditional love and companionship.
The women, like artgnome, who are stuck in a bad situation and still manage to make the best of it are the exception. not the rule.
and i find it funny that they booted Frenchie for having topless photos on the internet to help pay her way through college, saying she's not a good role-model, but Fantasia's allowed to praise teenage mothers?
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Karen - 2005-02-07 09:10:52
Eryn, yes, that was my point EXACTLY, it takes two to make a baby, but the common thought is like UB's where it's all the fault of the slut woman. My only sympathies are for the children who get the short end of it all.
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Andy - 2005-02-07 09:17:15
I agree with Uncle Bob. And to be completey honest, Hey, being a single parent can't be easly, but don't pick my pocket to pay for anything. I'm sorry. I specfically made deliberate choices in my life not to have children. I do not want to pay for yours. Go work 5 jobs before you even dare ask me for a handout, and even then, it's should still be my decision to say if I want to donate to your welfare.
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Andy - 2005-02-07 09:21:20
HRT: no where does UB even make mention of race. Give it a break. Don't be playing the 400 years of oppresion is the reason why people go out and have kids and then can't afford to pay for them. Your way out of line. The song is about being irresponsile and then complaing that you can't make ends meet. IT's seems to be a prevelant theam in music today. Regardless of race.
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heycarl - 2005-02-07 09:21:54
This whitey-white has to agree with Uncle Bob, and Bill Cosby, and Chris Rock - what the fuck is up with glorifying bad choices and ignorant behavior? Couldn't Fantasia have celebrated getting her GED instead of foodstamps?
As Tupac says, "No Wonder Why They Call You Bitch."
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Kathy - 2005-02-07 09:29:06
Years ago when I was a county worker we had to take in underpriviledged high school students and help them get on the job training doing office work. This one 18 yr old had one dream only for her life, it was to get pregnant and go on welfare like all her friends and family. I'm as serious as a heartbeat, she told everyone that was her goal and was proud of it....made me sick!
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Amber - 2005-02-07 09:34:11
Does it actually mention TEENAGE Mothers in the song, or just single Mother's? I'm one of those single Moms. I was NOT a teenage mother and was married when both of my children were born. If the man I was married to would have given up his cocaine and alcohol habits, I would not have left. I did what was best for my CHILDREN, not me. I work full-time. Not once have I ever received help from "the system". My child support payments are sporadic at best because blowing his paycheck up his nose is still more important. I'm not picking anyone's pocket to pay for anything; however, I have worked a full-time job since I was 15 years old. I have paid my taxes like everyone else. I hope it never happens, but if I ever did have to receive assistance, I would like to believe it isn't simply a handout.
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Eryn - 2005-02-07 09:45:44
alright. i downloaded the song. There is mention of something like "i see you working, going to school, busting your ass, blah, blah, blah". and there's no mention of teenage mothers. HOWEVER. Fantasia's target audience can't be more than early- to mid-twenties. and as far as i'm concerned, girls/women that young don't need to be told that it's a "badge of honor" to be a single mother.
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Squeakster - 2005-02-07 09:49:37
My two cents: Brillant marketing strategy, isn't it? A specific target audience AND controverisial too. I say Fantasia's "people" took a page right out of Madonna's play book. Y'all were equally upset when "Papa Don't Preach" was on the lips of the young-uns in the mid 80's. Don't hate the player, hate the game!
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TD - 2005-02-07 09:53:24
Nah. I choose to hate the player. The "game" is just the result of thier behavior.
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YoMama - 2005-02-07 10:07:39
Ever think that "support check" may refer to CHILD SUPPORT???
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IV:XX - 2005-02-07 10:09:37
With all this crazy talk about personal responsibility you might as well add this group to your buddy list - http://www.algop.org/
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Squeakster - 2005-02-07 10:40:57
Just to clarify (for TD) the "player" I was referring to would be Fantasia or any other artist and the game would be the creative marketing machine behind her release and all of the other music we are told is hot. If you don't want to spend money on advertisement, all you have to do is be controversial and you get FREE advertisement. I'm not going to trip on UB's rant, because I respect his right (Same with HRT, Andy).
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UBdaman - 2005-02-07 10:41:59
HRT - get your head out of your sociology books (& your ass) and join us in the real world. And stop with the "400 years of oppression" line 'cause it's starting to wear thin. God, you people and your generalizing simplistic excuses.
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heycarl - 2005-02-07 10:56:29
to clarify: I am all in favor of WIC, public assistance (housing, job training, childcare included), and universal health - all of the "liberal agenda". I just see it as a safety net, not something to strive for. When I was younger, it seemed like a welfare check was something to be vaguely embarrassed about - the song seems to make it something to brag on. Worst of all, I can see the Conservatives seizing on this as another example of why these programs should be killed/cut back.
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Ami - 2005-02-07 11:00:55
That is the most horrible piece of crap I hav ever seen!! (her song - not your entry lol). I was a teenage mother, so I've kinda been there. Except I married the daddy (whom has been my husband now for 13 years and I adore him). It was so hard and we struggled like crazy. I'm sad too say that we wouldn't have made it without welfare because initially neither one of us was old enough to work (I know - its terrible to even type it!), but we never got actual cash because the baby daddy was still in the picture. We worked hard. Trav worked himself to death so that I could go to college and become an RN. And now we both work our asses off like every other decent family to provide for our three kids. We've "made it" through hard work and sacrifice. Fantasia made it because she was one lucky hooch. She may have a great voice but so do millions of others. She got lucky and now has a voice that can influence today's kids and she does it this way? I liked Fantasia until this. Boo for her!
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Lando - 2005-02-07 11:40:04
doctor, lawyer, mobile d.j. - the holy trinity.
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Jendra - 2005-02-07 11:45:39
Ha... the one thing that got to me was... no sex? Just don't do it before marraige? Buddy, I wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first. ;) There are clinics abound with cheap/free birth control pills and condoms. Seems like a more viable solution to me.
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curvature - 2005-02-07 11:48:07
normally, i'm right on that bandwagon with you, UB, but i have to disagree this time. i don't think the song is directed at teenagers, for one thing. for another, the support check doesn't mention anything about welfare - when i read the lyrics, i assumed it was a child support check.
as a young single mom, i can identify with this song. i don't think it glorifies anything, nor does it attempt to place blame anywhere. i'm not too keen on a whole chorus focusing on the subject of getting a check in the mail, but otherwise, i don't see what the big deal is.
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Dea - 2005-02-07 11:48:21
It makes sense that it would be a support cheque from the father if she is commenting how it doesn't cover day care, casue if she was on welfare, chances are she wouldn't be using day care.
Everyone is so cute today how you're all arguing. I think UB has an ulterior motive to make us think about social issues and exactly where we stand on them. We shouldn't be angry at him, but instead thank him for his thoughtfulness and generosity for making us aware of such issues. Thank him for taking time out of his busy day to make us aware and give us the opportunity to voice our options. YAY UB! YAY! There should be an UB holiday!
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twobaddogs - 2005-02-07 11:54:20
Wow, UB, you really know how to open up an artery! Anyhoo, my two cents is this: Fantasia is African-American (or Black, as they so sensibly say in the UK), which may be how HRT came to the conclusion that UB was race-bashing, which he wasn't. HRT stands in most circles for "Hormone Replacement Therapy," so maybe she's having hot flashes and it's making her cranky. Uncle Bob may be at fault for a) never linking to me, and b) not also suggesting that single dads duct-tape their weiners shut until they figure out what the hell personal responsibility means. But then again, he was referring to a song by a female artist. The point, for those of you who aren't critical thinkers, is that no one should celebrate irresponsibility. We should be compassionate, most of all to the children of these selfish people, children who have little chance in life to drag themselves out of the cesspool their "parents" volunteered them for. Celebrating and striving for something that isn't the best situation for your child just because you didn't like school is not a good idea. That's all he said.
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petra - 2005-02-07 11:55:09
I was going to get on here and say the support check was CHILD support, but since everyone already did, I'll just say hi. Hi, Uncle Bob! :)
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tali--who has NO kids and doesn't want any - 2005-02-07 11:59:13
Hey UB? I'm fairly certain that the "support check" that you freaked out about isn't your tax dollars..but the child support check that is supposed to come from the baby's father. And how nice of you to go all off on women who have babies out of wedlock...like it's only their fault they are in this mess. Forget about the father who contributed the sperm. It takes two.
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Kitty - 2005-02-07 12:17:32
I didn't screw anybody over & I certainly don't want those people getting my money! (ANDY I totally agree!!!) Playing the race card is just wrong because there are many poor ass white people out there too. I used to like Fantasia somewhat until now. An un wed mother holiday??! Please!
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Sheila - 2005-02-07 12:30:32
Just wanted to note that it's not just the "urban" teenagers having babies so they'll have someone who loves them -- the problem is present in deeply rural areas too. Just less visible.
Also, Andy, "go work 5 jobs"? With what arrangements, exactly, for 24-hour childcare?
That being said, of course it makes no sense to glorify a decision to be a single-mother, if in fact that's what Fantasia is doing. Frankly, two parents seems like too few, looking at my (employed) friends with young kids struggling to get through the day.
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Amy - 2005-02-07 12:34:29
OK people.
Folks who get what's left of "welfare" pay taxes, work full-time, and are responsible human beings.
Know what MY taxes are paying for?
Haliburton.
Your fucking 401K's federal insurance
Your future social security benefits
Your Hummer rebate
Your "school choice" voucher
Must be nice to live in a world where shit never happens. Hope y'all never find yourself in that boat, 'cause you're goint to have to eat a lot of crow if you do. Are you selling tickets to your version of reality?
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HRT - 2005-02-07 12:38:03
Wow, isn't this fun y'all?
For one thing, poor is poor is poor, however for some of the unenlightened among you I will tell you that it is a good bit more difficult to rise out of the slums of poverty for some people than it is for some others; which if I'm not mistaken, was my entire point from the beginning.
I submit that it is between 2 and 2.5 times more difficult for a "Fantasia" (aka a single black mom) to pull herself up out of her situation and survive, than it is for a single white mother living in the suburbs. And this is for more reasons than I feel like going into at this time and in this space.
As for me, I've lived in poor rural areas and in poor urban areas and while there are many differences there are also many similarities. But unlike some people I'm not claiming that one is better than the other, just different. I love how it is just ASSumed that when I talked about 400 years of being "fucked over" that you people just ASSumed I meant black folks. Apparently many of you are unaware of the years of captivity and slavery of the people of Israel. You may also be unaware of the oppression of the poor of ALL races in America. So please enjoy being up on your high horse and thinking that you are ALL right ALL the time. I want you to feel that way, I want you to feel superior and feel that you are morally justified about being outraged at paying into the welfare system. Enjoy.
I just pray to God that there is a God and that there will be a day of reckoning and that in that day when the meek shall inherit the earth that maybe there will be mercy and pity for you.
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HRT - 2005-02-07 12:40:51
...Oh and I also meant to mention the genocide of the "so-called-American-Indians" Yeah great fucking Christian nation we started here. (boy, I am snarky this morning, I need to get more exercise, or get laid, or both)
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hereyago - 2005-02-07 12:43:40
[chorus]
B-A-B-Y M-A-M-A
This goes out to all my baby mamas
This goes out to all my baby mamas
B-A-B-Y M-A-M-A
This goes out to all my baby mamas
I got love for all my baby mamas
It's about time we had our own song
Don't know what took so long
Cuz now-a-days it like a badge of honer
To be a baby mama
I see ya payin' ya bills
I see ya workin' ya job
I see ya goin' to school
And girl I know it's hard
And even though ya fed up
With makin' beds up
Girl, keep ya head up
All my
[chorus]
B-A-B-Y M-A-M-A
This goes out to all my baby mamas
This goes out to all my baby mamas
B-A-B-Y M-A-M-A
This goes out to all my baby mamas
I got love for all my baby mamas
I see you get that support check in the mail
Ya open it and your like "What the Hell"
You say "This ain't even half of daycare"
Sayin to yourself "This here ain't fair"
And all my girls who don't get no help
Who gotta do everything by yourself
Remeber: What don't kill you can you stronger
My baby mama...
[chorus]
B-A-B-Y M-A-M-A
This goes out to all my baby mamas
This goes out to all my baby mamas
B-A-B-Y M-A-M-A
This goes out to all my baby mamas
I got love for all my baby mamas
Cuz we the backbone (of the hood)
I always knew that (that we could)
We can go anywhere, we can do anything
I know we can make it if we dream
And I think it should be a holiday
For single mothers tryin' to make a way
But until then
Here is your song
Show love to my....
[chorus]
B-A-B-Y M-A-M-A
This goes out to all my baby mamas
This goes out to all my baby mamas
B-A-B-Y M-A-M-A
This goes out to all my baby mamas
I got love for all my baby mamas
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HRT - 2005-02-07 12:51:17
Dumb song. dumber discussion. Can we go back to talking about eating your kid's boogers PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Andy - 2005-02-07 12:53:59
HRT, so to clear this up, just who were you speaking of when you mentioned "a group of people (and) fuck them over mind body and soul for 400 years" ? I'd like to know.
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Mark - 2005-02-07 12:59:46
Support Check bullshit. I work to support millions of others on welfare...What's really great is when someone actually needs assistance (even while working), they can't get it. I love seeing the welfare people..cause they're always partying and eating steak and everything. My family pretty much lives off of ramen...motherfuckers. I think the "hood" needs a good ole' fashioned genocide
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Scooter - 2005-02-07 13:17:20
Mark, that's appalling. Have you ever heard of compassion? Apparently not. I'm ashamed that people would ever even think, much less write, something that hateful. You just took yourself to the level of someone like Hitler. Proud of yourself, now?
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Me - 2005-02-07 13:24:05
It's easy to generalize when you are born a middle- or upper-class, white american male. See, I just made a generalization. See how easy it is?
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You - 2005-02-07 13:29:50
See how easy it is to blame "the man" or "society" or "400 years of oppression" or anyone else than yourself?
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Squeakster - 2005-02-07 13:30:51
"I WORK TO SUPPORT MILLIONS OF OTHERS ON WELFARE". Methinks the man doth protest too much. Everybody is all hinky because it's Income Tax time. Bronca!..Bronca!...Bronca!!!
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HRT stop while you're behind... - 2005-02-07 13:37:35
Uh, HRT? I went through the posts and the only person I saw that linked "black folks" with "400 years of oppression" is YOU! As I re-read your posts I kept thinking, "He's written the stupidest thing ever", but then you kept typing.
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squandra - 2005-02-07 13:49:31
It's not just the race card, it's socio-economic. And it's simply the truth. All the EFFORT in the world may not be quite enough when there's such a disparity in OPPORTUNITY; in the place one must start out. Perhaps ignorant people unwilling to acknowledge our true history and it's present-day affects -- whether they're white, middle-class southerners or single, teen mothers on welfare -- are a big part of the reason things are getting better much more slowly than any of us would like.
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Andy - 2005-02-07 13:50:08
When this Fanta chick sings about "Baby Mamma's, is that gangsta speak for "Mother's of Babies" or do you take it as a very young mother?
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TD - 2005-02-07 13:57:52
race card=socio economic.
Maybe, instead of celebrating having children out of wedlock and being a drain on society, they kept thier legs togethor, and kept thier wang zipped up (or at least used birth control) and saved up some money, and had a semi firm grip on thier own lives before they made little gansta dependents, things would be different. I think that's far and away the b iggest part of the problem? Yes, I know: it's a crazy selfish idea. How dare I suggest such a thing.
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squandra - 2005-02-07 14:30:25
Again, someone with less opportunity has not neccessarily made less effort. Why is that concept so easy to ignore?
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Andy, not everyone is as "generous" as you are - 2005-02-07 14:43:05
If contributing to welfare was a decision, a lot of people would do exactly what Andy is suggesting: They'd say no. Unless the person is working, apparently, at least five jobs ... Which I'd wager most of us don't expect out of ourselves. (And I'd put my life savings on the fact that most people wouldn't volunteer their hard-earned money even then.) Why is that a problem? Welfare is an attempt by the government to close a gap in our society, one that we have learned by EXPERIENCE only grows wider when left alone. But why should the government, and the taxpayers, be concerned? Because that gap is man-made. If you think otherwise, you're in need of a biology text to go with your history book.
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Jen - 2005-02-07 14:43:45
And just like that my Uncle Bob reading days are done.
That was racist and offensive.
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Rodney King - 2005-02-07 14:49:43
Can't we all just get along?!
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Cold but calm Canuck - 2005-02-07 15:12:47
Man, youse 'Murricans is weird, eh?
I've always told my kids, get through teenagerhood without STDs, pregnancy or a criminal record and you'll probably be OK. Throw an education in there and you're all set, abjectly embarrassing history aside.
And HRT, it's time for 'oppressed groups' to stop whining and take advantage of opportunities today. Get with the program. And before anyone plays the predjudice card on me, I am a member of several minorities.
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Nzyme - 2005-02-07 15:20:46
Dear Uncle Bob,
I was going to chew your obviously white, racist azz but I see that others have long since beaten me to it. I am a single, twice DIVORCEE who works her butt off every DAY/NIGHT to provide for three spoiled, unappreciative, yet LOVELY children. I receive child support of only one of them. I have TWO COURT ORDERS!! And YES, Fantasia IS referring to CHILD SUPPORT---the COURT-ORDERED KIND!! I welcome you to read my blog if you can stand the realities of a single BLACK woman in America---it might be educational!! I don't blame anyone but myself for the choices I have made in my life, but guess what? I did not INTEND to rear my children ALONE---that's just the hand that was dealt, so I live with it!! You have a great life, sir.
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HRT - 2005-02-07 15:23:13
HRT stop while you're behind... "He's written the stupidest thing ever", but then you kept typing."
I'm so broken up inside that you found what I wrote to be stupid, because you are the reason that I live and breathe. So for the sake of preserving our love I will refrain from typing.
If what I have typed is stupid it's because I have opted to make light of an absurd situation, I will try to make my assertions plain and if you still think they are stupid well that is your prerogative.
- poor people of all races and nationalities have it tough
- being poor and of a disadvantaged minority is doubly difficult
- being poor of a disadvantaged minority and being a single parent is exponentially difficult
- simple solutions like eliminating welfare or telling people to simply stop having sex is an inanely simplistic answer to a very complex problem
- people DO need to take personal responsibility for their actions
- the downtrodden need to have access to resources to be able to improve their station in life
- I wish to God that people who don't know what the FUCK they are talking about would shut the hell up.
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Heather - 2005-02-07 15:31:42
How was he racist? she even mentions "the hood" in the song. its obvious the type of community shes reaching out to.
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HRT - 2005-02-07 15:35:52
Cold but calm Canuck said: "it's time for 'oppressed groups' to stop whining and take advantage of opportunities today"
Dear Cold,
You don't know me. You don't know anything about me, you don't know that I happily voted for the President of the United States, believe in limited Government, personal accountability and responsibility, lower taxes and higher wages. You also don't know that while my income is woefully low for a college-graduate with two kids, a wife and a mortgage, I still find it a priority to donate 10% of my income. You don't know that I think that abstinence IS the best solution to help people to live lives of hope and promise. You don't know that it has taken nearly 5 generations of my family choosing to do the right thing for me to be in a position where I can think and reason and believe these things. You also don't know that I don't agree with minorities whining about ANYthing.
All I'm saying is that you cannot change the choices of the past, all you can do is help people to make the best of their current situation, to offer them education not simple solutions, assistance not handouts, empowerment not enabling. Most people just want a chance, an opportunity and even just a temporary alleviation of the pain of life, and many of the people who have posted here, whether they know it or not, are living their lives by a belief system that denies people these simple desires.
Sincerely,
HRT
(does not stand for Hormone Replacement Therapy ya jack-ass)
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Foxy - 2005-02-07 15:53:34
Wow, UB did it again... Got everybody thinking and fussing.
Sorry but I thought the "Hormone Replacement Therapy" was kinda cute. :)
This just shows one thing: Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. ;)
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awittykitty - 2005-02-07 16:00:24
I'd rather see my tax dollar feed some hungry "ghetto" (see, there's an assumption right there) kid, than a bomb to drop on Iraq, but that's just me.
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HRT - 2005-02-07 16:01:56
I always forget that tongue-in-cheek sarcasm doesn't always translate so well in this cyber-village we call Diaryland. My bad kids.
I still find this witty, I don't care what y'all say:
"I'm so broken up inside that you found what I wrote to be stupid, because you are the reason that I live and breathe. So for the sake of preserving our love I will refrain from typing."
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Sick of It - 2005-02-07 16:15:43
HRT - I may not be as smart as you seem to think you are, but I do know this. Your parents should have practiced a little of that abstinence you were talking about.
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humungus - 2005-02-07 16:15:59
Yeah, I'm kinda curious too how some think UB played the race card in his blog. I think the SONG played the race card without even saying it because most associate that type of behavior with certain poor "oppressed" groups and classes and yes, ethnicities of people who live that life.
I really liked to hear the whinage about the group of people that "we" (European Americans?) supposedly "fuck(ed) them over mind body and soul for 400 years". I'd like to remind the author of that post that this is the only country that I know of that fought a CIVIL WAR over the issue. I'm glad you are free to think, and say, as you do. It is a wonderful country because of that freedom. "Ya jack-ass" right back atcha.
I don't know where the concept of parenting went in this country, but I believe its delcine has led to this idealization of "baby mamas". It is not just my opinion as an armchair writer - I lived it. My sister went down that road at age 15 because HER mother did too. Sis's second son was born at age 17. Her third at 19. Her kids bounced around the family with no real home like pachinko balls while she was out "finding herself" (and more potential seed and disease donors). She is now getting divorced for the third time, lives in a mobile home with FOUR kids, drives a new Honda, has a big-screen tv, and lives off the welfare and child-support checks. No job, no education, no real future - and all she does is complain about the sacrifices she has "made" for her kids and how much of a struggle it has been. Give me a f'ing break. Her oldest just got arrested for auto theft, while his baby lives with his girlfriends parents. And my sister wonders where she went wrong with him.
Duct tape would have helped for a while, but the reality is that my sister had no idea how to run her life because HER parent's never knew how to run theirs. And the vicious cycle repeats... and repeats again.
Yes, that's all we need now is a song to glorify "baby mothers" and their gangsta-wannabe partners. Lets give all the kids something to aspire to.
How sad and pathetic.
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hmmm - 2005-02-07 16:16:20
people people people, all of this arguing is counter productive... lets all love each other...
and Jen... good, it's better you don't read UB... apparently you don't read well at all, I don't recall him making one racist comment at all...
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cosmicrayola - 2005-02-07 16:20:53
Well, I'll be damned. I have been reading UB for quite awhile and I have to admit. I thought he was talking about all single moms. I didn't realize he was talking about Black single moms. So I went back and read his post again. Guess what? He NEVER mentioned any group of women except single ones. It amazes me that over the course of 60 comments, his post can get so twisted up. Just goes to show ya. Tell someone a story and have them repeat it 10 or 20 times and you come up with a whole different story. And ya, I was a single mom and raised two kids after my divorce. Wasn't easy. I don't deserve a badge of honor. I chose to have my kids. I don't deserve praise. It was what I was supposed to do. It was my choice to have them, and my responsibility to raise them. I did. End of story.
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HRT - 2005-02-07 16:21:35
Que? I'm sorry but I must be slow "Sick of it" because I certainly do not understand what you mean by "HRT - I may not be as smart as you seem to think you are, but I do know this. Your parents should have practiced a little of that abstinence you were talking about."
Because the way I read that is that you seem to wish that I was never born. Darn, and just when I was planning on naming my next child after you. This really is going to put a crimp in my celebration plans for our 3 hour anniversary.
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HRT - 2005-02-07 16:29:58
Cosmic here are the lines that some of us read as being potentially racist:
"Problem #1: So many of these young women look at being a single mother as a badge of honor. They're proud that they've introduced yet another mouth to the welfare system ... and another potential gang-banger to the streets in another 13 years."
Perhaps I read this as racist because 93% of all urban "gang-bangers" are of a minority race.
Sorry sweetheart ... we'd give you more money ... but there's about a million other goddamned urban females under the age of 20 who had the same idea that you did ... let some lowlife bastard that has no intention of ever continuing a relationship with you knock you up and then go spread his seed and disease elsewhere.
Again, "urban females" I did a quick internet study and 3,427 out of 3,428 times the term "urban female" was used it referred to african american women. Forgive me for failing to recognize the 0.0003% of the time that the phrase refers to the racial class termed "other".
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D - 2005-02-07 16:32:18
Ehm, it occurs to me that the women out there who have chosen to have their children rather than abort them probably don't need some song by some 'preformer' to convince them that what they're doing is difficult, or that they are better people for it.
Choose life, yo.
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E! - 2005-02-07 16:49:04
I'm just happy to see a parent with the same ideas about responsible breeding that gets us childfree folks screeched at. Where's my depo provera dartgun--time to lock & load, my friends.
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Statistician - 2005-02-07 17:12:41
HRT - is it true 93 out of 100 studies showed that 87% of all statistics are made up on the spot?
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Ang - 2005-02-07 17:17:12
If I might interject.... when my husband and I first got married, we lived in a relatively poor, predominantly white, southern, rural neighborhood. We only ate meat once or twice a week, because the student loans and crappy job market in our state prevented putting real food on our table. Eventually, we were able to save a little money (I do mean a LITTLE!) because we both wanted to have a baby. We had both worked hard, saving, moved up at our jobs, gotten the student loans and the student credit cards paid down a little. We still had no health insurance, but we really,really wanted a baby. We paid cash, went without, and set up payment schedules and it took 6 years, but we paid back every freaking cent of our medical bills for having our daughter, and never regretted it for a moment. Now to get to my point: at the time I became pregnant, two 'friends' of mine both got knocked up as well. As soon as that EPT turned pink, they both promptly quit their jobs and let the government pay for everything! Because I stayed at my job, working for a promotion and a future, we did not qualify for the simplest of government programs to help us out. (Thank GOD for grandparents who like to buy diapers and formula!!) Do I judge these WHITE MARRIED women for blatantly relying on the welfare system? Do I judge these women their debt-free, worry-free existence? Hell, yeah! I guess I'm just trying to point out that not all welfare mothers are young,black, and poor. And I just lost my point I was trying to make by typing all this crap. But yeah, I'm totally against welfare. You can fry motherfucking cheeseburgers and pay for some diapers if you have to. Get a 2nd job, or a 3rd. I did. Sitting on your ass, collecting free milk, food stamps (that you sell to your friends for drug money-don't tell me I'm wrong-I've SEEN it! And they are white girls too) getting free health care, free birth control pills. The goverment pays for your car insurance, your day care, your DOWN PAYMENT on a new car and I'm busting my ass to supplement your income. DAMN now I'm mad about it. Fantasia is a bitch. I liked Diana DeGarmo better. I bet she doesn't get knocked up out of wedlock.
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natasha - 2005-02-07 17:28:53
HRT, I just did a I did a quick internet study and found that 932,427 out of 1,033,428 times the terms BLOWHARD and MORON were used in conjunction with your nickname.
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Justagirl - 2005-02-07 17:32:05
UB I still love you even if HRT is being an ass and taking everything you say out of context, and I will continue to read you everyday... even if jen won't....
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Me - 2005-02-07 17:45:47
Maybe we should all stop judging other people's lives, it's a song, you dont like it, get over it. We shouldn't be judging people and having big discussions over things most of us know nothing about. If Idiot Fantasia wants to make a song like that, so be it. I really doubt it will make an effect on anybody, since not alot of people actually hear her music. ps. I LOVE YOU UB!
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that wierd guy - 2005-02-07 18:35:06
"Can't we all just get along"
i agree with rodney
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that wierd guy - 2005-02-07 18:43:22
plus this song is sexist (im just saying this to be stupid) cause it never mentions anything "honorable" about a single dad. Just finding offensive material for you guys to argue about.
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ibeejd - 2005-02-07 18:44:10
*silence*
..............wow.............
*silence*
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DDt - 2005-02-07 20:06:07
HRT: I believe UB specifically said he wasn't talking about all single mothers. And I certainly don't recall his ever saying anything about black mothers - got a little chip on your shoulder? And don't give me that shit about how slavery is the cause of all subsequent bad choices made by any black person in America who has made bad choices. If that is true, how do you explain the millions of productive, educated black people running around, many of whom started out just as poor (and all of whom started out just as black and slave-descended) as the gangbangers in the ghetto? The Jews were in slavery for THOUSANDS of years, not just a few hundred and they were certainly segregated, persecuted and repressed in earlier years of this country, but they are an underrepresented part of the groups of people who think getting pregnant at 13 is a badge of fucking honor. Most of the Latino population was not descended from slaves, most of the white population was not descended from slaves, yet those 2 colors are quite fully represented in the "babymama" section of society. My mother was also a single mother, who had for a time to be on welfare. If you had bothered to pay attention, however, you'd have known he was talking about girls and women who INTENTIONALLY become young single mothers, fuckwit. He certainly never said anything about your mother or my mother or the women who don't end up as a babymama on purpose.
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Erin - 2005-02-07 21:38:09
Finally! Someone who tells it like it is! There are so many people on welfare (Black and white and yellow) who couldn't give a fuck about getting a proper job or giving their babies a better life. Of course, there is always those single mothers who work for a living, have a support network of friends and who are doing everything in their power to give their babies a better life. It is THOSE people that this song is better dedicated to. Not the scum that suckle on the teet of the government until it dries up!
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Jade - 2005-02-07 21:45:11
You know, arguing like this will not get us anywhere. Discussing is cool, but arguing is fruitless. So far I haven't read any opinions that are offensive, whats offensive are the personal attacks some people felt the need to throw out. But everyone seems to have pretty solid ideas and opinions on this. I'm not sure why so many are all about attacking HRT - he said a lot of things that made just as much sense as the rest and did not attack anyone until provoked (I only read through this thing once though so I can't remember exactly what was said).
Anywho, this is a subject that is just too hard and complex to discuss on a board like this (its a subject that could fill up an entire mesage board), and its too hard to come to a consensus. Thats mainly because each person's situation is different. Unless we've lived it ourselves (and some of us have) we simply can't know or judge the situation. Some mothers are victims of their situations, and some others have instigated their situation. While we look at both of those differently, the welfare system doesn't. We can't punish the ones that truly need help and that are working to better their situation just to teach the ones that are milking the system a lesson. The only ones that lose in that situation are the children, who should be the real focus here.
We can offer all the education programs, free birth control and family planning counseling, and career counseling in the world, but its not going to do any good unless the person takes advantage of them. The only person that can change the situation is the mother (or the father!), and they have to want to do that. All we can do is provide the programs when they are needed. The mothers who want to do better for themselves will use those programs and work to better their lives. The rest we just have to hope for a change of heart, because there is no way we can force someone to make that decision.
What about this. Instead of giving money to those in need, have a website (or an office for those without access to the internet) where a person can order supplies. They would get a monetary equivelant (points? credits?) to get things like food, diapers, utility bill assistance and necessities. The office can monitor that the child is getting what they need. That way people who honestly need the help will get it, and those who just want to buy a big screen tv while their child is hungry, can't. I dunno, it's just a thought. :) Maybe its a bad one - I'm not a socioligist. :)
As far as the entry goes, I think it may have been a little harsh. What I think, however, doesn't matter. It's his diary, I read it of my own free will. Why I don't agree with what he said, it doesn't change my opinion on things. Sometimes too we put things down in our diarys when we're ticked off, and although it sounds okay in our heads, might not translate well to other people. So since I'm pretty sure I know what he meant, I'm not too worried about it.
Yeesh. Sorry this was so long winded... aaaaaand probably nonsensical in places (I'm really tired). I just wantd to say something. I just hate that we have to argue when there is such a good disscussion that could be had. :)
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Jen - 2005-02-07 22:14:16
Hmm..support check, not welfare check. Don't worry about your tax dollars, worry about the deadbeat dads who don't have enough sense in their heads to adequately care for their children. It takes two people. As for the "spreading the legs" part, as far as I know you don't get pregnant from spreading your legs, but instead when someone decides to jump between them.
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grassyknoll - 2005-02-07 22:41:10
Word.
BTW, it's a LOT easier to do nothing with your life than to actually stop whining, get a job, and spend wisely. The former takes absolutely no willpower, responsibility, or forethought. Think about that.
(P.S. My parents are flat broke, always have been, yet I still went to college and keep a roof over my own head. So don't give me that "oppression" bullshit.)
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Tomasino - 2005-02-07 23:51:46
Jen - why do you assume its the guys fault when a pregnancy occurs? You may not get pregnant from spreading your legs, wearing short tops, skirts showing your asscheeks, thong underwear, no underwear, or giving oral sex on the first date.
But it sure as hell helps!
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eggsaucted - 2005-02-08 00:47:23
Just wanted to say that I am a single mother! I don't receive a support check of any kind, welfare or child-support. I read UB every day. What he said in his entry today is his opinion and frankly one that I completely support and agree with. But again it is HIS opinion that he wrote in HIS diary. He said from the beginning it was his opinion and he expected people might take it the wrong way or get upset, but is there a reason to fight each other call each other names and get upset over this? HIS opinion was not meant as an attact on single mothers, but as an opposition to promoting the idea of becoming a mother for the sole reason of receiving a support check when you are completely ill equipped to handle the realities of motherhood. We live in a country where we are allowed a difference of opinion.
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Maya - 2005-02-08 04:23:15
Since it appears that not all single unworking mothers are equal, why don't we let them slam it out in an American Baby Mama Idol on TV? The single Mamas who would like to get welfare doolah have to go before the jury and audience to plead for their case. So there would be like a queue for audition and the ones who started their plea with "I don't even know this guy's name, but he sure smell like Cheetos" would be kicked out mercilessly. The 32 or so survivors have to show off their life philosophy and rearing-babies-who-wouldn't-return-to-the-welfare-check skills, such as if they would let their children eat peanut butter out of a jar in front of the idiot box as they themselves chat with a biker named Rod from Montana.
All Taxpayers can vote, the jury make the rousing comments. One of them could be Jacko, he'd be the Paula, cooing things like "It was sure hard for you, I just know how it feels like to be alone in the desert of your heart. Why don't you bring your child to my palace?" The winner gets a 5 year welfare support for up to maximum of three kids, the losers may start their own reality shows as long as they are widely popular losers. If each TV channel have such a contest, it would take care of the whole population of welfare mama, at least during the audition stage.
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Bonsai - 2005-02-08 06:11:45
Maya - fantastic! If I was a TV producer I'd snap your idea right up! Everyone else - calm down you crazy fools!
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Squeakster - 2005-02-08 07:57:08
Damn, I made a bet that this thread would hit 100 entries. I thought about cheating and making entries under pseudonyms, but why pollute a near Hall of Fame comment section.
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Ami - 2005-02-08 10:47:11
I didn't think the support check meant child support. Women on welfare get more than the child support provided through DHS from their babies father. Around here, they also get a check that is just free money. Also, they get food stamps, their daycares paid, their rent and heating bills paid - and all of that comes from tax payers money. Nothing infruiates me more than to be standing behind some woman with 15 kids all wearing expensive designer clothes and shoes (not to mention running around like heathens) who is paying for ding dongs and Dr. Pepper with her food stamp card and using her cash to buy cigarettes and booze. Meanwhile Baby Mama has more diamonds and gold on her hands than I will ever own and then gets into her brand new car and drives home to watch TV, while I hook my ass back to work. Now thats not fair. Pfft!
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me bitch - 2005-02-09 01:35:51
my opinion on this shall be...fantashia however you spell it whatever grew up in the next town over. now thats great and all when she's trying to support her kid but when i was in 10th grade half those chicks were pregnant with the second child. now those bitches up in nc need to well lets say GET A JOB because i cant afford to support all of them. thats why i still live at home.
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Karen - 2005-02-09 09:33:09
Hallelujeh Uncle Bob! Right ON!
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Nelly - 2005-02-11 03:57:39
My cousin's daughter had a baby when she was 15. She was oh, SO proud. Like that was a fucking accomplishment.
The selfish little slut put a horrible strain on HER single mother, but she didn't care. Of course she was too young to move out, or take any real responsibility for any of the mess she created. Four years later, she's still sucking and fucking, but at least now she's smart enough to use birth control. That, or her fed up mother had her sterilized. She thinks her (literally) little bastard is just the smartest, cutest, kid ever. GAG. Spare me. No mention is ever made about this kid's father. Indeed, if she even knows who he is. Yeah, she lives with her mom, but guess who pays for slut and son's food stamps, medical care, schooling, etc? You and I, that's who. I hope they both get run over by as bus.
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who cares - 2005-06-02 13:22:40
I just have to know... not that it's gonna make a damn bit of difference either way... but how exactly does being a minority make life hard? In what other country can those 'disadvantaged' minorities go and get every possible govt grant they need to start businesses, go to school, buy houses... these sorts of things, the sort of things that are available to everyone but the REST of us have to work for?
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Shantelle James - 2005-08-24 14:47:53
HEY YOU DO YOUR THING GIRL I AM SO PROUD OF YOU ARE INSPIRATION TO ME ALL YOUR SONGS ARE WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH OR BEEN THROUGH THANK YOU GIRL
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