Comments:

Tenshi - 2005-07-27 07:18:01
Rammstien. Lots of Rammstien. "I hate. I hate. I hate you. I hate you like cheese, I hate you like cheese..." (something like that)
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Gary - 2005-07-27 07:18:50
First!?
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Gary - 2005-07-27 07:19:32
Doh!
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Crack Whore - 2005-07-27 08:56:08
Next time, you had better give me the $40 or I'll send my friend with unnaturally huge balls in to be measured by you.
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Savage Henry - 2005-07-27 09:13:13
I had to deal with this nonsense when I was a bartender. There would be people coming into the bar breathless because they were running from business to business trying to find a dupe. One utter mongoloid tried to (perhaps inadvertently) scam me twice. The second time he stepped through my door I wordlessly sprayed Sprite at him before he could drench me with bullshit. I then called around to the other bars and had them do the same thing to "the guy who smelled like lemon/lime." Good times.
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Jenna - 2005-07-27 09:47:06
My boyfriend is a bartender & has to deal w/ the bums off the street wanting money, wanting to use the phone..etc. One time this other bartender was working at the same bar as my b/f & while this other bartender's back was turned a bum stole his whole tip jar. crackhead. Then another time these people hung around the bar for 3 hours waiting for their crystal meth dealer to show up. No lie. Why they weren't kicked out I dunno. Good luck w/ the Klockers.....?
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Andy - 2005-07-27 09:53:49
Play lots of Kraftwurk. (are they still cool?) and bring lots of skat porn. Those germans love thier shit. (literally)

I've been aproched for money from scammer junkies (Money for a bus/train ride to get to an ailing relative etc). I show them the nearest police station and say they are the best ones to help you, or at the least tell you a good place to go for help. They usually say no thanks or leave.

Another good alternative to giving them money is to suggest they talk to people in thier own local church or parish. Yea, they run when they hear that too.
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vitamin c - 2005-07-27 10:06:19
Bizarre? No. That shit happens way too much and I live in a town with only about 35000 people. The latest was the man going to a house and saying his "aunt" that lived next door had a heart attack and had to go to the hospital. He said they locked themselves out when leaving in such a hurry and needed $40 for a tow truck. They gave it to him, watched him, and he drove away. Oh, and lots of out of gas with children in car. A crackhead knocked on my neighbors door at 4am (!) for money for a bus. So, as I said, not bizarre, which is sad.
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Nina - 2005-07-27 11:01:10
People, if you wanna sound like experts on German music, learn to spell the band names. Rammstein. Kraftwerk. Also, if those people are real Germans, chances are they won't like either of the bands. They're both much more popular outside Germany (mostly in the US) than in their homecountry.
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Krauted Haus - 2005-07-27 11:05:49
Ja vohl, Unkle Bahb! Play Falco's "der Kommissar" und Nina's "99 Luftballoons" too...zat vas zum gut chit!
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Nina - 2005-07-27 11:16:38
and the same thing goes for you, Hans. It's Nena, not Nina, and it's also not pronounced like Nina. And you do know Falco wasn't German, right?
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Nina - 2005-07-27 11:18:15
Haus, not Hans.
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Andy - 2005-07-27 11:22:55
Start each set off with a joke:

"Okay, A Jew, a german and scat porn queen walk into a bar..."
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Andy - 2005-07-27 11:24:47
Well, as an expert on German culture I recomend that you start each set off with a joke:

"Okay, A Jew, a German and scat porn queen walk into a bar..."
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fifi - 2005-07-27 11:50:16
The lady who has a great organic food shop I go to, had the same sort of thing. Complete stranger comes in, claims to be a regular customer, asks to borrow money. She refused, felt bad,and asked me what I thought. I told her she probably got money from someone else -like an actual friend-if she really needed it. Who lives in a city or big town, and doesn't have at least one friend or neighbour who's good for a favour, without asking a stranger?
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German Crack Whore - 2005-07-27 12:06:30
If you give me forty bucks, I'll help you out.... oh sorry, I meant forty euros. You disposable-culture, non-national-park-appreciating FIENDS
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elayne - 2005-07-27 12:15:58
Fifi, well, technically ME. My city's got almost a million people and no, there isn't one.single.person here that I could turn to if I needed anything. Yep. Pretty fucking sad. Especially because my parents live here, too. But I do have a job and am more likely to be in the borrowee's seat rather than the borrower's. I've been taken twice - once by a lady claiming to have just moved in a few apartment blocks over and needing diapers for her son (she was later arrested), and once by a guy claiming to have been out of gas and trying to get to California. The second guy, I'm not too sure about, he might have been telling the truth, because I didn't give him money, I paid the cashier ten bucks for gas and he did put gas in the van, and the older lady in the front seat who he said was his mother burst into tears and came and hugged me, so, I dunno about that one.
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Blue Meany - 2005-07-27 12:17:28
Dude, don't you know ANYthing? Only the TRADITIONAL Glockenspiel Klockers like hip-hop. The modern ones abhor hip-hop, and in fact are more into Yanni, Kenny G, etc. Good luck with that.
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Patty - 2005-07-27 12:40:39
Jeez! I had the SAME thing happen to me about 8 years ago. My grasscutter (I was a single mom, postage stamp lawn, no mower) knocked on my door at night and said his truck broke down and he needed $40 to get it towed. He told me he would pay me back the next day and cut my "lawn" for free all summer. I gave him $40, which was a lot for me, and the next day found out that he did the same thing to 3 of my neighbors! Needless to say, we never saw him again! The sad thing is, his parents live in the neighborhood and are embarassed - and yes, it's crack!
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fifi - 2005-07-27 13:10:12
Elayne, sorry if I offended. I live in Scotland, not US.Here, we are commonly supposed to be mean with our money. We aren't, but I think in all cities you have to be careful of strangers or you can get fleeced. The lady in question is a single shopkeeper in a quiet street, and felt vulnerable I think.
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The Boy - 2005-07-27 13:36:11
All German's love Polka.... keep that in mind. Just grab the biggest beerstein that Dollar General has... Filler up from the keg, and yell some stuff about "Mein Laager-fest" and chug the whole thing down. you won't care what is played, and they'll respect you for your madd-skillz as you size them all for new tuxedo pants. Fifi... props to you from across the pond...the bigger the city, the more strangers there are
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chatterer - 2005-07-27 14:59:58
Andy, What's the punchline?
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Andy - 2005-07-27 15:20:32
Ok,...just to amuse Chatterer So before going into the bar, they drop thier new born babies off at a babysitter, After a few drink they return to pick up thier kids, but after having a few drink s they can't remember which kid is which...After an hour of mass confusion the father of the German baby decided he'd settle the problem. He walked into the kids,and lined up the three infants in a row. He clicked his heels, raised his arm and shouted, "Heil Hitler!" The German baby snapped to attention, the Jewish baby shit, and the porn queen's baby played in it.
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Ana - 2005-07-27 17:04:47
Andy, that was horrible, but I laughed for a solid minute. Kudos.
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elayne - 2005-07-27 19:50:22
Fifi, no offense at all - I was feeling a bit sorry for myself this morning, is all. Heh. I think "The Boy" has a point, too - the bigger the city, the more strangers - but still. You'd think there'd be *someone*... I can sympathize with your shopkeeper friend; I worried for days after the diaper lady - was she going to come back in the middle of the night and rob me or kill me or something? Scary. Now I have a (harmless) dog who barks a lot, so if anyone I don't know comes to the door, I just make gestures that convey the idea that if I opened the door the dog would rip out their throat, and they go away - no more panhandlers for me! (c:
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Lorac - 2005-07-27 21:34:36
I haven't even read today's entry, but I'm thinking of you UB. Watching Brat Camp and (what's her name, daddy-died-girl) just brought me to tears and my knees (NOT!; get your mind back on subject) because it's the anniversary of his death, and I'm bawling like a teenage Korean hooker slobbing on...no wait, that's not right. Anyhoo, are you watching it? Are you sobbing like a baby as I am? I think I need to talk to Oprah and Dr. Phil....
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IbePiglet - 2005-07-27 22:40:40
I was scanned by that very same line...in Chicago. Amazing. Only difference was that I gave her money.
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vitamin c - 2005-07-28 08:46:03
Thanks Lorac. I thought I was able to stop crying and you made me start again. Damn it! I need some phantom dookie stories to cheer me up.
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Faville - 2005-07-28 09:03:31
Wow. I also got scammed in Chicago. I was living there for a summer, a rather poor 17 year old riding my bike in jeans with holes. A woman hailed me as I passed her on my bike. She was out of gas. I could only give her 20 though she wanted more. At least she made the effort to get my name and address and said she would send it back to me (obviously never got it back).
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Savage Henry - 2005-07-28 09:22:40
A klick klock a kilcky to the klick klick klock and you don't stop....
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Andy - 2005-07-28 10:43:22
Fav, Several years ago I stopped about 2:00 a.m. stumbling home from the bar in my complex parking lot. I got a horrible tear jerking story about needing bus money and I figured I'd toss the guy a $20. Afterall, I spend that on lottery tickets. Why not forgo the lottery tix and possibley help out another human being?The odds were about the same as winning Keno as this guy might be hustleing me. He took my name and address because he was going to pay me back.

Guess what? A few days latter he did Call me!! He needed another $20. Groan. These scams work because they know that eventually they'll find some sympathtic sot who hasn't been scammed yet. This guy was good too, he didn't need $20 or $40. He needed $35.75 the amount of the "Train Fare". Send them to the nearest Salvation Army.
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DanjerusKurves - 2005-07-28 12:57:07
So, if anybody wants to send me $40 for absolutely no good reason other than I want it and will never repay it... you can find me on PayPal.
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The Boy - 2005-07-28 15:31:21
"How Much for one Rib...?".... you got change for a hunn'erd ?
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Dawn (webmiztris) - 2005-07-28 22:35:25
I still can't believe you guys wouldn't give me any crack money. My crack babies are shaking like crazy and need their fix! You selfish bastards.
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