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K - 2006-02-27 08:09:21
Way to out manuever her. You should shower more often if it helps you come up with the great master plans.
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WifeMotherMe - 2006-02-27 08:14:19
Maybe her plan is to save the money to get you a Phalloplasty.
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Nightmare - 2006-02-27 09:41:34
Somtimes I wonder if they will ever get it....then I remember they OWN THE PUSSY!!! So I try and keep my scheming to a minimum.
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Andy - 2006-02-27 10:02:33
1) they are called "housekeepers", not maids. Trust me. Call em a maid and you'll find dog shit in your sheets.

2) My wife and I both work and we have a housekeeper come in every other week to wash the floors, scrub the bathrooms and do a general pick up for things that we can't get to. It's a nice service. However, it's not like "alice" in the brady bunch, or the fat chick on "3 and a half men".

3)Getting rid of credit card debt would be the smarted fucking thing you could do. Paying someone to scrub your piss stains off the toilet at $35 an hour while you work 4 jobs and carry debt at 18% interest is not. Unless it's a young, hot latino housekeeper. Then that changes everything. :^)
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catya - 2006-02-27 10:07:34
I just hope this page is a secret from your wife...otherwise your plan just backfired!!!
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dom - 2006-02-27 11:30:50
you are a brilliant brilliant man. that is assuming, of course, that she does, in fact, spend her hard-earned money on credit card debt. who does that?
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Dr. Phil's Tiny Weiner - 2006-02-27 13:58:54
It might be worth noting that, should the "housekeeper" do a poor job, you can tell her so or fire her and get another. Should your wife do a poor job and you say anything about it, you will simply be spending the time at the end of the day that you used to spend cleaning the house to fight with your wife. Go pro. It's worth it to keep the marriage together.
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IV:XX - 2006-02-27 14:12:58
That's so funny because it reminded me of how I found you in the first place. I was at my wit's end with my wife who had promised the moon to be able to quit work and stay at home. After a few months of growing ever more frustrated with the lack of improvement in the quality of housekeeping I Googled "My wife is a slob". The first match was to your site. And that was the very first time I ever read a blog of any kind.
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Whinerhater - 2006-02-27 14:37:44
Four-twenty is obviously above any kind of menial work, I guess. Hey UB, I have a better idea: use the extra money to pay off the credit card debt, and let the damn garbage pile up and up and up. Just throw it outside. Then maybe your stupid biker neighnors will get grossed out and leave the neighborhood with their fart machines. Then, use you newly-paid-off cards to hire a cleaning service for one big clean up, and maybe you'll get better, cleaner, quieter neighbors! Ta-dah!
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awittykitty - 2006-02-27 16:20:56
I used to actually clean someone's house in exchange for massages. I definitely got the good end of the deal. Although HE was also a cheap bastard too.
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Jamie - 2006-02-27 19:07:37
....the perfect day doesn't involve strippers?
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plustax - 2006-02-27 21:09:04
... awsome.
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Wha?? - 2006-03-01 08:42:38
You have only one child in a two-parent household and you think you need a maid? Good God, someone get up off the goddamn couch and JUST CLEAN!
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elayne - 2006-03-01 11:38:27
Heh. I'm a single parent with one child, *I work from home*, and I've had a maid for years. (She's here right now, in fact.) I pay her $50 a day, and she does it ALL, baby. Laundry, stove, windows, floors, ironing, the works. And she actually only charges $40; I started paying her $50 when the gas prices went up because she drives a ways to get here. I also pay her extra on days when I ask her to do something extra, like shampoo the carpets (today). She always offers to cook, too. $50 is about three hours of my time (in terms of what I'd get paid if I were working), and she does more in those three hours than I could ever do. (I have a back injury and now a bum shoulder.) Not to mention the psychological boost. It relieves so much pressure when you don't have to worry about getting the laundry done, mopping, dusting, etc. The maid I had before this one absolutely loved me, because I keep a fairly clean house to start with so it wasn't as much work as she was used to, plus I always paid her for holidays but gave her the day off. She told me about spending Thanksgivings and Christmases cleaning toilets while the family celebrated around her. For $35 a day. Disgraceful. A perk of living on the border!
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To elayne - 2006-03-02 08:44:28
MOST single parents are not as blessed financially as you seem to be.
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Also . . . - 2006-03-02 08:45:24
Not to mention what you're NOT teaching your child about the value of hard work.
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