COOL THOUGHTS ON A COOL DAY

COOL!!

Amazon has sent my copy of "Welcome To The Dollhouse" .

God, I LOVE that movie. I have yet to meet anyone who has the same passion for that film as I do. Granted, there's parts of the film that I don't think belonged there ... but hey ... overall, I'd say it was my favorite movie of the 90s.

That's what'd I say, alright.

Anyway...I'm jazzed.

Yesterday, I treated myself to a little post-Christmas shopping spree.

I bought myself "Scary Movie" and a Beastie Boys video anthology because dammit...I deserved them.

Have never seen "Scary Movie". But enough people whose opinion I trust HAD seen it and said it was right up my alley, so I decided to just go ahead and plunk down the duckies for the DVD.

I've always liked the Beastie Boys, although they started packing so much out and out SHIT on their discs that they started to bombard me with their crap.

I like the old school stuff more than the latest crap, although I really liked "Intergalactic".

...I'm just going to ramble today. Do you mind??

Cool.

On the message board , Passion8love asked what everyone's favorite sexual position is.

I went ahead and answered. And strongly suggest you do the same.

Ahem.

OH!

I almost forgot!!

Andy has learned how to make high pitched squeals now. Apparently, he thinks it's cool to be shrill.

This is indeed a treat for everyone involved. If he accidently spits his pacifier out...HIGHPITCHEDSQUEEEEEEAL!!!! And if he wants to express his desire for you to look at him ... HIGHPITCHEDSQUEEEEEAL!!!!

I nearly had a heart attack four separate times last night. I had about fallen asleep when it sounded like an eagle swooping down, inches from my head.

Nope. Just Andy's latest trick.

I now know why some crackheads kill their kids. I don't condone this action. I merely understand it.

HEY!!!

So last night, I had this cool dream that I became governor of Alabama.

Wow ... the dream was sooo much better than it sounds.

I had ALL THIS POWER and nobody could touch me.

I didn't waste any time with all the political aspects of the job. I just threw parties and met people.

It was a pretty cool dream. Even if I didn't get laid.

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Have I used the word "cool" enough today?

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So we take Andy in for his two-month checkup this morning.

This is the check-up where he gets shots.

I know GROWN MEN who say they couldn't take seeing those shots.

One guy said he'd rather watched the circumsicion than see his boy get shots.

I'm nervous. Apparently he gets quite a few shots this morning.

All this just as he's really finally gaining some trust in us.

And this is gonna fuck it all up.

Last month the doctor said "Prepare for a cranky baby for the following 24 hours after the shot."

I'm damned glad I'm working and Susie's off today.

I'll come home at 5 and maybe that will have given him enough time to forget that I was standing in that room when the doctor gave him his shots and he'll end up liking me better than Susie for eternity, because he will forever associate Susie with those shots.

Maybe not.

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Hey...so I changed my layout...what do you think???

I went from:

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to

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Pretty cool, huh??

I am THE WEBMASTER!!

(Uncle Bob swoops an invisible sword in front of your face and makes "swoosh!!swoosh!!" noises with his mouth to illustrate his invincibility)

God. I'm so pathetic.

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My mother-in-law is a political junkie.

She hasn't always been like this. In fact, when I met her 15 years ago, she didn't know a thing about politics.

Then she found Talk Radio on her dial.

More specifically...Rush Limbaugh.

I'm pretty sure my mother-in-law would let Rush Limbaugh pop her anal cherry. His name was mentioned at Christmas dinner and Grandma's nipples got hard. My 13-year-old perverted nephew excused himself, jumped up and ran to the internet.

To put it bluntly...she loves the man.

So now, all she talks about is how much she hates the Democrats.

Hates 'em.

Of course, she's never bothered to ask me which way do I vote.

Tee-hee.

So yesterday, she's watching Andrew while we were at work and I get home about 3 or so to relieve her, since she had an appointment at 3:30 with a "client".

...I don't ask...

I ask how their day went...Grandma and Andy.

She tells me EVERYTHING that happened on C-SPAN.

I don't even know which channel C-SPAN is on. THAT'S how much shit I could give for it.

"Well, Mr. Greenspan rose the income tax rates and blah blah blah blah blah," she drones on.

"Fascinating," I think to myself. "She's still talking, but I'm not hearing."

Flat out...I'm not a big fan of politics.

If George Bush is elected president, my job stays the same.

If Al Gore is elected president, my job stays the same.

The only thing that concerns me is my family and that paycheck.

And George Bush isn't going to help me get a raise.

So why should I care??

The President of the United States has NEVER influenced my life at any given point.

NEVER.

So why should I care??

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The old clock on the wall says that's enough rambling for one day.

Now then...get the hell outta my diary!! I've told you not to read my diary, you little snitch!!

I'M TELLING MOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

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QUESTION OF THE DAY

What's your favorite movie of the 90s