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10:01:21 - 2000-09-23



I'm really not sure how to word what I want to say here. So I'll just say it.

I enjoy pissing people off when I don't even try to do it.

NOT in real life. In real life I do my best to make people happy. In fact, all around, I enjoy making people smile. If I can say something, do something, write something that brings a smile to someone's face, that makes me smile.

Still ... when I piss someone off ... that makes me smile too.

Take my boy, Icebear, for instance.

The Iceman went and got himself a little tipsy, started to write a diary entry and ended up just BLASTING my ass over my reluctance to want to wear glasses.

First off, don't read it and then flame the guy. I love Icebear. He's my boy.

The thing is...he had SO MANY valid points as to why he was pissed with me. He wasn't like your normal person who tries to tear Uncle Bawb down by using stupid, invalid points in his diatribe. The Iceman explained why he was pissed with my entry and then stumbled to the couch for a long night of drunken snoring.

I wrote him an email this morning, explaining a few things that I didn't explain in my diary entry that I CANNOT SHARE with everyone, because then you'd think I was a wuss.

Well....not really. But it's between the Bear and I.

Anyway ... his entire entry just made me smile. Just like the encouraging emails I got after I declared "NO MORE APOLOGIES" in this diary, I LIKE the drunk and pissed-off Icebear.

I wish he was drunk and pissed off all the time.

I'd feel bad for Kittikity, having to live with a drunk and angry Icebear and all ... but it would amuse me immensely. And really...what's more important here?? Icebear's little diatribe. He's a helluva writer, even when he's soused.


THEN...for the hell of it, I check out the latest additions to my Analyzer Pageand see that someone named "Anon" signed it, asking me to please shut this diary down because I've lost my touch and I'm putting everyone through misery by reading it.

Once again, I laughed out loud.

Mainly because I figured it was Icebear again ... trying to twist the knife deeper in his drunken stupor.

But if it wasn't Icebear, ah well ... here goes nothin'...

Fuck you Anon (yawn)... you're an anonymous puss who doesn't have the balls or ovaries to sign your ignorant name to something so pointless and stupid. You suck shit, your mother sucks shit and quite frankly, I'm willing to bet that everyone you have ever let into your pathetic little life sucks shit. I feel quite confident that you were unloved as a child, even more unloved as an adult and will die a sex-crazed virgin.

And I bet you have a really ugly mustache too.

If you're going to be a big tough guy (most likely a gal...but "big tough gal" just doesn't sound as imposing) about it ... next time sign your freaking name so we can all see what a marvelous and captivating diary YOU must have, okay Anon?? Maybe then we could ALL take lessons from you and see just what it takes to have THE PERFECT DIARY.

No...I don't think that will happen. Simply because Anon KNOWS that their diary sucks shit.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that?? Your diary sucks shit too, alright. I can say this without even having to know whose diary it may be. Know why???

Because I have the BALLS to sign my name to it.


You know...unless it was Icebear who signed on as Anon. Then I retract what I said, because the boy was drunk and rambunctious and I've been there...done that.

So come forward, Anon. Lemme know which Diarylander I've pissed off this time.


Step into my little world, Anon.


One teeny weeny little baby step...quit hiding behind "Anon" and lemme know who you are and where your diary is.


Tell the world who you are. Have the courage to say "Uncle Bob sucks shit and (insert Diaryland alias here) says so."

I don't know why I'm wasting my time writing this, because these ignorant pinheads never want to come forward and show themselves.

Fucking idiots.

We all get criticized here in Diaryland, which I think is a stupid, stupid thing. I have NEVER criticized someone's diary here unless they attacked me first. The only time I've ever badmouthed another diary is these fake celeb diaries which I honestly think is an idea whose time has come and gone. And then I bashed the GENRE not the actual diaries themselves.

And the few times I've bashed someone'd think these idiots would learn not to bash me. 'Cause as nice as a guy as I can be...yeah...there's a dark side to Uncle Bob too and I can be pretty vicious if ya fuck with me and mine.

Still...hats off to ya, Anon...your blatant ignorance made me smile.

And more importantly ... you gave me the spark I've needed under my ass for a few weeks now to KICK SOME DIARYLAND ASS!!!!

Oh...and FYI...I was seriously thinking about shutting this diary down anyway. But now I think I'll keep it going, just to piss your anonymous ass off and keep you wallowing in misery.


(I just want to say for the record ... I DO have a thick skin when it comes to people saying nasty things about me and I was going to ignore Anon's post here. I just didn't have much to write about this morning and was looking for something to fill up space.)


Speaking of drunk and rambunctious (I did speak of's just further up in the entry...check me if you don't believe me, you ... anonymous fucker, you) ... tonight's the big trip to Atlanta to listen to my boy Mattie Gee and the Spicolis.

Granted...I'm not DRINKING. But I shall tie my little Rambunctious hat on and go "Whoooo-hooooooo!" a lot throughout the course of the evening.

I'm looking forward to the whole affair except for two thing...

I got up at 5:30 this morning.

...and I will be up until 5:30 tomorrow morning. coin a phrase shit.


So if yer in the Atlanta area...come out to Buckhead to the Metropolitan Pizza Bar, enjoy some great tunes from the 80s, and hang out with yer favorite Uncle.

I'll be the guy in the Fox Sports hat, videotaping the band. Or hell...just go up to the band and ask them where Uncle Bob is. They'll point ya in my direction.

Except for Anon. I doubt I'd wanna be seen in public with your stupid ass.

(This is called "baiting". I'm throwing out bait, hoping Anon will get pissed and bite and then reveal themselves so I can ridicule them even more. I'm not worried that Anon will read this, because Anon is probably so stupid that they think that reading statements in parentheses isn't important.)


Now then...

After all this swearing, bullying and general assholiness this morning...can you believe I had my pastor and his wife and child over for dinner last night???

Heh. Now THAT'S irony, my friend.

We had a great time...super time. He is just SOOOO cool.

He told us a story about how when he was in seminary school, studying to be a pastor...that was his heaviest drinking period. They'd go out constantly and get drunk at the bars at Yale.

We sat and talked about how great the movie "Pulp Fiction" is.

Yes...Pulp Fiction...

I never thought I could have a heart-to-heart with a man of the cloth about a scene in a movie where a guy's head is accidently blown off and laugh about it.

But I did. was a great time. Ya shoulda been there.

Then again...I didn't invite you.



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