DA CLONES...DEY BE'S FREAKIN' ME OUT

I think I've got what the Mrs. has.

All day today I've been sorta lightheaded and my stomach's felt kinda weird. Like I swallowed a Bolivian dwarf or something. Not that I've ever swallowed a Bolivian dwarf, but I bet if I had, it'd feel pretty damned weird.

I just got a call from my wife. She's on her way home from work as her "Feel-Like-Crap-o-Meter" has hit 11.

I wish I was joining her. I need a nap like super bad. I was yawning so much in here this morning that people thought I had a moose mating whistle in here.

So ... whadda ya think about this whole cloning humans thing?

For lack of a better term, I just think it's really fucking creepy.

So scientists are talking about creating humans...little babies...and then using them as guinea pigs to inject them with all sorts of diseases and shit before they ultimately destroy the babies.

Okay. This is just plain weird. When the whole idea of cloning first started making the rounds several years ago, I was all for it. I looked into starting a Cloning Fan Club, but was told they didn't need one right now. I thought it'd be cool to have t-shirts with the scientist's pictures on them saying "Dat's right...I'm God..." or some other cheesy saying on them.

Now...I just don't know.

Granted, I don't want to see a baby's arms torn off all in the name of cancer or AIDS or whatever. Even if it's a fake baby, generated in a laboratory. If it has a heart, a brain and eyes, it's a baby dammit.

I guess if they could create one super baby and gather all their info from that and develop vaccines for AIDS and cancer and heart disease and such....ONE BABY...I might agree to it.

But I dunno about this. It just really creeps me out.

And I don't want a whole race of clone babies being generated so that people who can't have children can have these kids. What if they're all evil and shit? What if they're "Children of the Damned"? Wouldn't that be some shit? Little red eyed children out to kill us. Oooooo. I doubt I'll be able to sleep tonight just imagining little red eyed children coming after me to rip my jugular vein out.

I'm torn on this one, kids. And I guess I need more info before I make a decision.

So Edweird and I went mall walking for lunch.

It went pretty well except for the fact that I wore my Big Boy Boxers today and they kept sliding down around my thighs as we walked. Since I've lost a bit of my belly now, they don't stay up like they used to when I could pull them all the way up to my chest like a nerd.

So I'm walking, Edweird's talking, and I have my hands down my pants, trying to nonchalantly pull my underwear back up as we walked. You can't stop because that slows the heart rate. And at one point, the waistband was lost inside the legs of my pants. So I'm jamming my hands down the front of my pants, the sides, and the ass.

No wonder cops were tailing us like we were gang members.

We walked for 30 minutes which took us around the mall twice. I stopped at the end of the walk to buy Andrew a new book for Christmas then we came back to the office.

Mall Walking.

It's the cool thing to do.

...For those with form-fitting underwear anyway.

I just came up with a new idea for Diaryland.

How about a site that reviews all the review sites?

Jesus Christ...do we REALLY need that many sites telling each other what we think of their diaries and ranking them?

What are there...like 100 of these sites now??

It reminds me of the fake celebrity diary fad that came and went.

How many of those fake diaries are still around??

Exactly.

My old buddy Scott called me on Thanksgiving.

For those of you too damned lazy to click the link I gave you, Scott's my "friend" from Indiana who is a complete loser. He sold his house and most of his family's possessions in order to buy a small travel trailer, packed his wife and daughter up and went to get lost in America.

They ended up wrecking just hours from home, destroying everything that they still owned and having to move in with her parents.

Click the link to read a longer story about him. I don't have the time and my tummy's doing flip-flops.

Anyway, he called because he had heard that I had a heart attack. Apparently our mutual friend down here ran into a friend of mine who told him about me having to go in the hospital to have my heart worked on.

This was then twisted into the rumor that I had a heart attack.

Uhhhhh...no.

He then informed me that he thinks he's finally "grown up". Which means that he's moved into an actual home and has enrolled his child in kindergarten rather than trying to home school her when he never even finished high school.

I always thought it'd be funny if he tried to home school her. When she got to the tenth grade, he's try and convince her that was it. There is no more.

Heh.

Anyway, it wasn't so bad talking to him. I did realize one thing...he's lived in Indiana now for about five years and has been down to visit us about 15 times since he moved away.

It was no big secret...he always came down here to buy pot because he hadn't met anyone up there that he could buy pot from.

So he'd always call me and say he was coming down in a week and for me to see if I could hook him up with some.

At the time, yeah...sure. Wasn't a problem.

Now, I wouldn't know where to start.

Anyway, he's not coming down here anymore because he knows that I've quit smoking for good.

So he would come down here under the pretense of being my buddy...when he was just coming down here because I still had drug connections.

Whatta guy.

Sorry this entry sucked. I was on such a roll too with the last week of entries.

I just don't feel very good.

Don't forget to go vote for today's Cool Site Of The Day.

Do it for me.

I'll wuv ya forevah if ya do.

Promise.