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12:09 p.m. - 2001-08-02

MY DAY SO FAR (in poetry form)

I came to work this morning,
With a banjo on my knee.
I opened the door with gusto,
And this is what I see...

A desk chock full of papers,
With contracts here and there.
I stopped myself from yelling
And pulling out my hair.

I sat down at my desk so oak,
And shuffled through the clutter.
The guy across the hall kept sneezing,
And so I called my mother.

I got off the phone with Mommy
And put all my papers in a stack.
A guy walked past and said hello,
I think his name is Jack.

For three hours I listened to a tape
Of an interview done yesterday.
At the time the interview was intriguing.
Now it sounds tired and gay.

At 11 a.m. I found Edweird,
And to Copeland's we did ride.
Cars were lined up in the parking lot
And a line had formed inside.

We walked into the restaurant
And secured a table for two.
The waitress called herself Jenny
As she handed us a menu.

When I opened up the menu,
I must admit I was shocked.
Chicken sandwiches cost ten bucks or more,
I felt like I'd been shot.

I ordered a chicken bbq melt
And could she bring it without the cheese?
Jenny smiled at me with a toothy grin
And said "I'll do whatever you please".

At that point I got a little bold
And just to blow off steam.
I asked her if she'd choke on my cock
She said "Whatever do you mean?"

I said it's a restaurant term, my dear,
It means to burn the chicken on the grill.
She smiled again, relieved to hear,
I wouldn't be taking her against her will.

Edweird and I sat and chatted
About the concert he went to last night.
Bands called Deftones and Godsmack were there.
To me, it just didn't sound right.

Who would name their band Godsmack?
Are they just asking for a ticket to hell?
I bet they were big and hairy men
And I bet they even smelled.

Our food finally came and it was delicious
But I don't think it was worth ten bucks.
You can go to Steak n Shake and get more food
But the service there really sucks.

All in all it was a good lunch
But I won't go back anytime soon.
When we left the line was long
They were taking reservations for next June.

Came back to the office, shuffled papers again,
I really hope that they don't fire me.
When the boss finds out that all I do all day
Is shuffle papers and write in my diary.

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