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5:19 a.m. - 2001-09-28


Y'know...I was sitting in my recliner, watching the news and fishing several bits of chewed-up paper out of Andrew's esophagus when it dawned on me ... we as a country are wasting WAYYYYY too much time worrying about our nation's airplanes and airports.

Osama is one conniving bastard. I saw where we're going to be spending million upon millions of dollars on new cockpit doors (heh heh...I said "cockpit"), security, sharp shooters and more.

Osama has already admitted and it has been documented...he never does the same terrorist act twice.

So America is acting like "Ohmigod! We've got to make our airlines and airports safer because Osama's going to strike again."

Damn straight he's going to strike again. Except this time it's going to be a crop duster, a truck, a train, a bus, a guy walking through a mall carrying a vial of anthrax or anything OTHER than an airplane crashing.

So Osama's chuckling his ass off as we spend our nation's reserves on beefing up air flight security. We're going to spend so much money on air safety that we won't have anything left to operate on when he hits us with a truck full of chemicals slamming into another American landmark populated with people.

Am I the only one who knows this???

Shouldn't I be sitting around the big table with the Prez and his posse?

As far as I'm concerned...air travel is probably the safest travel right now. The terrorists have DONE that and know that it's going to be tough to do it again so they've already got another plan cooking.


I sure hope the government knows what they're doing and some fat guy in his boxer shorts with a goofy little diary doesn't have more sense than them.


I trust my government.

There. I said it. But I sighed beforehand which should have given off the impression that I was hesitant to say it.

I just hope they're exercising all their options and not just concentrating and sinking so much money into something that's completely safe.


My I love my Fridays!

Soooo...we still don't know who the father of Rachel's baby is on "Friends".

I mentioned to the wife that this is probably the last season for the show since NBC can't afford to keep paying these guys billions of dollars a year to continue.

NBC has to build new cockpit doors or something.

Anyway...if you time it looks like the birth of Rachel's baby will coincide with the end of the show in May.

And I think Ross is the father. And they will get married, because they're not going to let Rachel be a single mother.

And then Joey and Phoebe will get married.

And there will then be three married couples who are still "Friends".

I think that's how the show should end.

And obviously, I've spent wayyyy too much time thinking about this.

I thought "Inside Schwartz" sucked worm ass.

That show was as funny as a hernia. I don't like the star either...Bracken Brickenbrack or something. He reminds me of somebody, but I just can't put my finger on it.

Oh yeah. He reminds me of Bob Hope's dried-up scrotum. That's it.


If I get a single Google search for "Bob Hope's dried-up scrotum", then there's a whole lot more sick folks out there than me.

"Will and Grace" sucked. I don't think I've ever seen a show win an Emmy and then go swirling down the toilet quicker than this hunk of shit.

And "Just Shoot Me" may as well refer to the show in general. Put us all out of our misery please. I used to like David Spade but not anymore. I think the boy's on crack. Which is not exactly a reason to not like him anymore, I just think that's the case.

I didn't watch "ER" because I've never watched it. Susie watched it and said it sucked, so I'll take her word for it since she's watched every episode since the beginning.

Instead, I watched the season finale of MTV's "Tough Enough" where two people won WWF contracts.

I can't say I was shocked to find out the two winners.

Mainly because this was the first episode I've watched. It's kinda hard to be shocked when you don't know what the hell's going on.

I'm having lunch with Mattie Gee today. I sent him an email telling him I've now got diabetes so our Buffetpaloozas are pretty much out of the question. We used to go to lunch at buffets where we'd have restaurant managers trembling in fear as we pulled up chairs to the buffet and just ate there.

I told him I'd probably stick with a salad for lunch. He wrote back saying "You might want to pick the place since I'm not really a health nut."

It was pretty funny just have to see Mattie Gee's big white belly to appreciate the line.

His band, the rockin' Spicolis, are having a rare weekend of actually playing in town for a change.

I'm babysitting the boy tonight while Mama oversees inventory at the warehouse where she works.

So I can't go.

No biggie.


My God...I'm in serious sad shape when I practically spend an entire entry on the new fall TV season.

Somebody...just shoot me.

Not really. I don't wanna die just yet.

I'll wait for Osama to poison my water, thank you.

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