FRIDAY MORNING THOUGHTS

It does suck that the People Pages for Diaryland are pretty much shot all to hell. That was by far the best way to find new diaries to read.

...Which is a somewhat subtle hint lobbed Andrew's way...

Anyway...we shall all carry on. One of you computer geniuses will come up with some sort of template that will rival the People Pages for looks, convenience and usage.

Bear with me...for some odd reason, I just can't get my shit together this morning.

No Coca-Cola. I bet that's it. BRB.

(Bob runs to the kitchen to retrieve a can of Coke, begins running back but slides on a slippery floor mat and busts his ass on the kitchen floor)

*POP!*

guzzleguzzleguzzle

*BURP*

ahhhhhhhhhh.....

(Bob gets up off the floor and dances his way back to the computer)

...MUCH better... Der Bobber needs his morning Coke.

...That's what we call soft drinks in the south. Not soda or pop, or sodie...it's called Coke, because that's what it is...Coke.

The rest of you morons have to be so difficult with your slang terms for Coca-Cola.

CALL IT COKE, DAMMIT!!

(Bob stops himself, feeling the veins in his forehead pulsing. Must. Calm. Down.)

Seriously...y'all can call it what you want.

But you bet your sweet asses when y'all come down here to vacation, we all get a snicker out of you when you order "pop" in a restaurant.

It makes us wanna give you a left jab to the bridge of your nose.

Anyway...for me...I've GOT to have a Coke in the morning. Always been that way.

I tried drinking coffee when I worked at a bank in New Jersey, fresh out of dropping out of college. I worked in the IRA department which was incredibly boring work. Everyone in the department drank coffee like it was required, so I decided to finally give it a whirl.

It wasn't too awful bad after the first few days. For some reason I thought..."this is going to make me an adult ... drinking the coffee."

Nope. It made me an irritable asshole who was incredibly jumpy all the time. I made Al Pacino in "Scarface" look sedate.

So now...I'm usually on my second Coke by 7 a.m. each day. I drink 4-6 Cokes a day.

Not smart...I know.

It's an addiction, baby.

Ahhhh...going out to eat tonight...

I love going out to eat on Friday nights now. I hate waiting in line and the longest I'll wait is 45 minutes. And then I'm about ready to tear the manager's head off after commenting on every single fault of the restaurant to my wife.

"You know...if they would just hire more people, we wouldn't have to wait."

"You know...the layout of the dining area is all wrong for quick and efficient table servings."

"You know...this would go a lot quicker if we were at Waffle House."

I like supporting local restaurants over chains, because it's local boys trying to do good.

But...all the good local places have gone out of business, having to bow down to the chain restaurants that offer free meals for all kids under 3 weeks old on Tuesday nights.

As far as chain restaurants go...I do like Applebee's.

I get cravings for Chili's...but my wife worked there for five years, so I've had everything on their menu several times over.

Longhorn Steakhouse has excellent cajun prime rib.

I HATE the Olive Garden. HATE it.

God...Krystal...or White Castle to some of y'all...talk about your cravings ... About four times a year, I'll find myself in the drive thru of Krystal wondering "How the hell did I just get here and why did I think I needed six Krystals?"

It's frightening, I'm tellin' ya. I'd blame it on them damned aliens from outer space, but you wouldn't pay me no mind no how.

Sorry..."Ma and Pa Kettle" film festival on TBS this morning....I got caught up in the moment.

As far as fast food...I love Checkers...a little drive thru place. They've closed all the Checkers in this town though.

Are there still A&W Root Beer stands still open in America?

God...how about Shakey's? Shakey's Pizza Parlor??

My God...I used to LOOOOOOVE Shakey's.

I can still taste their pizzas twenty years later...

Which means...it's time to finish this, get up and go brush my teeth.

MP3 DOWNLOAD OF THE DAY

The dance party continues...I want everyone to download "BODY ROCK" by Moby. DO IT!!