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11:35:14 - 2001-03-11


So I have two very realistic dreams last night.

The first one had Mattie Gee telling me that I had gotten a job at the Press where he works, so I went to my boss and gave him my two week notice. When the two weeks were up, I went to my "new" job and they said I wasn't hired after all. Mattie Gee stood there and shrugged his shoulders, so now I was out of two jobs. I went back to my present job with my tail between my legs and began to work, hoping nobody would remember that I had turned in my notice two weeks beforehand.

The second dream had me, another guy, a gorgeous blonde and a gorgeous brunette having to walk from one side of town to the other. During the walk, the brunette asked me out. Even though I'm partial to blondes, I accepted the date because the blonde didn't seem to be breaking her neck to ask me out. I was extremely flattered that this woman was asking me out because she was supermodel material.

That's it.

Y'know ... these dreams seemed a helluva lot more interesting when I was inside them. Now I'm just embarrassed to admit I wasted valuable bandwidth to tell you about them.

Had a somewhat productive day yesterday. We cleaned house for about four hours in anticipation of the arrival of the dreaded knee-humping nephews from Texas.

Scratch that ... I cleaned house. My wife has the worst time understanding what "clean house" means.

She'll clean for a little bit. Picking up things ... getting laundry started, etc.

Then, she'll run across a stack of bills or mail. So she'll sit down and go through every single bill or piece of mail for an hour.

Y'see...that's not "cleaning house". That's "going through bills".

Do you see the difference? And if so ... wanna get married??

I don't argue with her over it because that's how it's been for all these years. I just keep cleaning and let her sort through the bills. If I say "Honey...that's not cleaning" she'll go off the deep end and start rushing around the house, slamming things back into place.

Not that she has a temper. I guess she just hates to have the fact that she's a lousy house cleaner thrown up in her face.

I managed to get the living room and the den cleaned up. The kitchen still needs cleaned, as does the bathroom that everyone will be using and Andy's room, which has a lot of boxes in it.

Susie said she'd clean all that today.

...As long as there's no bills stashed under the boxes in Andy's room...

We went out for Mexican food last night.

I was going to cook, but we just kept messing around and not coming up with a menu. So at about 4:30, Susie asked what I was going to cook.

I said "Nothing. We're going to San Marcos."

She got a little giddy. San Marcos is one of her favorite restaurants. I don't like it, because I don't like Mexican food that much. I always order the fajitas because I can stomach those.

So we go there, Andy's sound asleep in his car seat and Susie decides that she's going to have her first alcoholic drink in two years.

She orders a small margarita. She sipped it all throughout the meal and had a buzz by the end of the meal.

Andy woke up and was just sooooo cute. He couldn't stop grinning at me and kept pulling the blanket up over his mouth so I couldn't see his grin.

So I kept telling him "Quit smiling. You can't smile. I don't want to see you smile."

You know...just teasing him.

Which made him smile more. Not that he understands English, but he loves it when you talk directly to him.

A lovely brunette at the table next to us told us what a handsome baby we had. Andy flashed that toothless grin her way and she melted.

...And I think that's who I dreamt about last night, now that I think about it...


See? I knew there was a reason I should write about that dream.

Watched the Game Show Network last night...they had a "$20,000 Pyramid" marathon going when David Letterman was one of the celebrities on the show.

The show was from 1978. Letterman was a bit player on Mary Tyler Moore's variety show at the time. could just tell he wasn't having any fun on the show. He wouldn't even look at the contestants and just seemed so uncomfortable.

It was fun to see him so young and different ... but after about 30 minutes of it, I became uncomfortable watching him and we turned it off.

Watched "Deuce Bigalow" instead. I still laugh at parts of that.

Now then ... let's look at the headlines.

It seems that some school bullies are finally getting what they deserve ... and that's a bullet in the back of their heads.

Okay ... I do NOT condone what the kid in California did to the bullies in his school.

...But I give him silent props for sending a message to bullies everywhere.

I dunno about you, but I had my share of bullies growing up. These mentally challenged fucks CAN ruin your life for the duration that they're in it.

The kid that this California kid shot had stolen his $125 skateboard after terrorizing him for months.

There's only so much that a kid can take before he strikes back. And if he's not big enough or strong enough to whip your ass on the playground, he's going to search for other methods to deal with his bullies.

Once again ... shooting each other is WRONG. But I completely understand how some kids can be drawn into doing it.

When we lived in Greece, I was 14 years old. Until I was almost 16, Mark O'Donnell made my life a living hell.

We never officially fought. But he and his gang of thugs would throw things at the back of my head in school, call me "pencil dick" whenever I was talking to a pretty girl, trip me whenever they could, and generally do their best to humiliate me.

I think it all stemmed from me going out to eat at a restaurant with my mom and two sisters one day. O'Donnell and his buddies were sitting a few tables away and kept saying loudly "Hey Dumbass" which was their nickname for me.

Mom finally had enough and bitched the guys out in public.

Uhhhhh...thanks Mom. Now I'm branded.

After that, every single day that I spent in Greece was spent in fear that today was the day this big greasy-haired bastard was going to hand me my ass in front of everyone.

I avoided him as much as possible. But when the guy goes out of his way to make sure he's making you as uncomfortable as possible ...'s tough to avoid.

On my last night in Greece, there was a dance held at the American Youth Center. My circle of friends were treating it as a goodbye party for me and Pam Biggio, a girl I had the serious hornies for, was slow dancing with me.

O'Donnell and his group of toadies were standing by the jukebox, hooting at me and telling me "tonight was the night".

Meaning that I was finally going to get my ass kicked for a goodbye present. Not that I was going to be nailing Pam.

Wrong, O'Donnell.

I slipped out of the AYC while their backs were turned with Pam. We walked in the rain to the Taxi hub and had a long goodbye kiss. Even though we had never dated and were just friends up until this minute, she cried and I cried simply because I had no idea the girl even cared a bit for me.

Her taxi pulled off and I walked back to the AYC to say goodbye to whoever was left.

O'Donnell and his crew had left to go beat old ladies with their canes or whatever the hell it was they got their jollies from.

I kissed two other girls that night and finally went back to the hotel where we left the next day.

I was through with O'Donnell.

Didn't have to shoot him either.

...But there were about 700 days straight that I wished I had.

I guess, more than anything, I hope this latest school shooting wakes America up and lets them know that it wasn't this Andy kid who did the shooting that's the bad guy here.

It's the dead kids that gave him no other alternative that should be responsible. The human spirit can only take so much abuse before it breaks. And this kid knew that he was outnumbered, and didn't stand a chance in a fair fight. He was "scrawny" according to all the news reports. "Scrawny" means "skinny and unable to defend himself" and is a shining example that the media won't even cut the kid any slack.

Once again, shooting each other is WRONG. But if you corner a rabid dog, it's going to bite. Nobody deserves to die. But nobody deserves to have their life turned upside down for the amusement of some punk-assed bitches in an establishment where rules should be followed and not broken either.

So bullies of the world ... beware. You never know if the kid whose life you decide to fuck up will be the one who fights back with a gun.

I guess I say all this because at the memorial service for one of the kids who was shot, his friend was talking about what a "great guy" the dead bully was.

Andy didn't kill an innocent bystander. He shot the kids that had fucked with him HARD.

That ain't "a great guy" in my book.

Alrighty then...let the damning emails fly. I know there's gotta be at least a few of you pacifists who think I'm a horrible person for having these beliefs ready to fire off a scorching email, condemning me for siding with a killer.

But keep in mind ... this is MY diary...not yours.

And I'll say whatever I damned well please here.

And if you don't like it, I hope you get hit in the head several times a day with pencils and called "pencil dick" every time you try to have a decent conversation with someone you might have a crush on.

It's a bitch when you have to live in fear of your peers.

Turn the other cheek, my ass.


JOHN LENNON "Give Peace A Chance"

Enough said.


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