HOW TO BE A BITCH

Quick entry that won't even be worth your time.

Had to ummmm...I don't even know what it's called. But my old internet provider went bankrupt and my new internet provider swooped in and said "Hey! Sure would hate to see you lose that cable modem service for one iota! How about you click here and we fix that problem reeeeeeal quick!"

One hour and 15 minutes later...I'm here.

So I have a whole new email address...my internet explorer page looks really white now ... but I didn't lose anything, which was cool.

They "recommended" that I backupped all my email files and "Favorites" on the web.

Sure thing, pal. Can do, dude. Now then....just show me how to back shit up and we'll be in business.

So I backed things up MY way. I painfully went through my email address books and picked out family members and people that don't read this page.

I carefully cut and pasted them into a document.

I emailed that document to my work address.

Then I went through my favorites and tried to decide which ones I absolutely needed and wrote then down neatly with a pencil and pad of paper.

Then I did all this new installation thing.

Damn if I still don't have my entire address book and favorites.

All that for nothing.

Rabble scrabble Charter Communications...

Had a fight with Susie last night.

Not really a fight. I just accused her of being a "bitch" all night and then rolled over in bed when she wanted confirmation of every time she was a bitch and gave her the silent treatment.

Granted, she's under a lot of stress as tomorrow she has this huge test that she's been working towards for several months. We have to drive to Birmingham tonight as soon as I get off work, get in a hotel and let her study all night for that so that at 8 a.m. in the morning she can go take the test.

But she WAS bitchy last night. I can vouch for that.

Here's her various moments of bitchiness.

A) While we were eating she gave Andrew some green beans. He liked green beans at first, now he's not all that fond of them. He kept throwing them on the floor while I ate and watched "Survivor".

"Uncle Bob, can you help here?" she said.

I gave him a hot dog. He gleefully ate that.

"He doesn't like green beans anymore," I said.

"Well he HAS to eat his green beans," she said.

"No he doesn't," I responded. "If he doesn't like food, I'm not going to force it on him. He'll either eat when he gets hungry or he can have something else on his plate. I don't like green beans. That's probably where he got it from."

So she stewed. She likes green beans and cannot BELIEVE her son doesn't like them.

B) She gets up to go pee, he follows her in the bathroom. I'm still watching "Survivor".

She comes back, stands DIRECTLY in front of the TV and proceeds to tell me how Andrew likes to open and shut the lid on the toilet now.

I know this. I've seen him do it at least a dozen times.

As she speaks, I make a "pushing aside" motion with my hands to let her know she's standing in the way of the television.

She goes off, telling Andrew that "Survivor" is more important than him to his daddy. I told her that I had seen Andrew do that with the toilet lid several times this week...mostly when she wasn't home and was either at church doing church matters, at church meetings, sitting and gabbing with church wives or at her marathon study sessions that she goes to three times a week. While she's doing all that...I'm hope taking care of the boy and teaching him how to lift the lid on the toilet seat.

C) We come to bed and I'm a little jazzed because I finally got Morpheus to work right and had just watched "Jeepers Creepers" on the computer. I told her I was downloading "Shrek", "Shallow Hal" and "The Others".

She went off on me, telling me that when my computer was running slow to NOT come running to her because I was just filling it up with this junk.

I was quiet. Finally, I said "Well I plan on taking the movies that I like and putting those files on disc, so it doesn't take up hard drive space."

"Well don't come running to me when you want new blank discs for those stupid movies because you're not getting them. I'm never going to watch those stupid movies."

"That's fine," I said as she climbed into bed to actually SNUGGLE up next to me. After all, I can understand this. If I have a new hobby, she HAS to approve of it, doesn't she? Heaven forbid I want to download a "stupid movie" when she can't understand why I would.

At that point I told her she had been a bitch all night and then I rolled over.

And she wanted to know when she had been a bitch. She wanted times and instances.

I just laid there silently.

About 15 minutes later, she shut off the TV, grabbed her pillows, went out into the den and was prattling on and on about not being a bitch.

And usually...she's not a bitch.

But I think she was last night.

And I know it's stress.

I'm sure of it.

And since we're going to be joined at the hip all weekend, I think maybe it's time I went and apologized for the bitch remark.

Wish me luck.