THESE PEOPLE LITERALLY ROCK

Hey sugar...

So get this...I actually talked the Mrs. out of going to the Dog-U-Tante Ball last night.

I REALLY didn't feel like going and since nobody called to ask if I'd show a dog, I didn't feel like sitting there and watching dog after dog being walked by filthy, rich person after filthy, rich person for an hour and then eating cold fried shrimp while making small talk with total strangers who ALWAYS "have a story you need to put in your paper."

Good God almighty. I'm TRYING to have a good time over here...I AIN'T workin'.

Sheesh.

DOUBLE sheesh!

...Can you actually double "sheesh"?

So...the wife came home from work...I told her we could do whatever she wanted to do ... go eat wherever she wanted to eat...if we didn't go to the Dog-U-Tante Ball.

Her face lit up.

"I WANT MEXICAN FOOD!!"

Okay...because of my crippling fear of cheese, we don't go out to eat Mexican food much. Those guys wanna put cheese on EVERYTHING. Susie gets to go with her friends, but as for me, I'd much rather have some food where the waiters speak more than broken english. Every time I've tried to explain to an illegal immigrant that I DON'T want cheese...I always get double cheese on my food. Then they try to tell me that's what I ordered..."dub chez".

Soooo...I don't do Mexican.

But...she's pregnant and I'm a nice guy... so she gets what she wants. I'll just eat fajitas.

We went...it was actually pretty good. A little old lady waved at me from across the room and said "I love your paper." I talked to her for a few seconds:

LADY: "I love your paper."

ME: "Well thank yewwwwwww. We love to hear that!"

LADY: "I've been taking your paper ...ever since...."

(She then debated herself for ten minutes on when she must have started receiving the paper. Finally...I stepped in)

ME: "The paper was established in 1964."

LADY: (pleased with hearing the year "1964") "Well...I guess I've been reading it since then!"

ME: "Hey ... that's great Grandma. Look...I'm about to shit my pants here...I don't do Mexican ... I've really gotta be going before all hell breaks loose in my bowel system. Adios, Senior Citizen Senorita."

LADY: "Why...you're a rude little fuck."

ME: "Look... (pulling out my trusty switchblade)....EAT MY ASS, GRANNY!!!"

Okay...that other stuff didn't really happen. But she did say she liked the paper and I did recoil in fear because of her advanced stage of age.

Okay...I didn't recoil. But I could have, had I been so crass.

I'm going over to my buddy Eddie's to burn some MP3s onto CD. I'm as fascinated as Rain Man with a box of toothpicks. The whole process that you can actually download your favorite songs for free, and make your own CD for a buck.

You know...as long as you have a buddy who has a CD burner and doesn't mind giving up his Saturday mornings so you can have some new CDs.

I've got a CD burner...but its for my stereo. At the time, I knew my computer was too slow to properly handle a CD burner.

Geez...geek talk ....

HAVE I BEEN REDUCED TO GEEK TALK???

OH GOD....

ARMY ... COME BAAAAAAAAACKKKKK

Hey...thanks to all those that had the balls or ovaries to step forward and tell me the coolest MP3s out there. So many of y'all had some great suggestions....in no particular order...and I haven't been able to download all of them....are my thoughts on some of the songs suggested.

Frank suggested Billie Holliday's "You Go To My Head".

It wasn't available. So I downloaded "God Bless The Child" because I had ALWAYS wanted that song. It's...of course...gorgeous. Thanks to the Franker...who by God...does NOT get her proper props here....Frank designed the Award thingie over to the left there that more and more people are flying proudly on their websites. She's the ace in Uncle Bob's pocket and she rocks a llama's ass.

She also suggested Headstones' "Cemetary" which rocks hard. "Went down to the cemetarrrrrryyyyyy".

I can see why she loves this band. I've downloaded three of their songs..they're pretty versatile...

And Holly Cole's "Jersey Girl". I've had that song for years...in fact...trivia fact here....the ONLY song I danced to at my wedding was Bruce Springsteen's version of "Jersey Girl".

(It's true! It's true!)

Someday...I've gotta tell the wedding story. Not today. Remind me.

Well...hell...tomorrow would be a perfect time...Tomorrow's our 12th anniversary.

Okay...sometime this weekend I will recap our wedding day.

Malkavia suggested "The Bad Touch" by Bloodhound Gang.

Heh...I LOVE this song.

I'm downloading every version of the song on Napster.

This song rocks. I had the Gang's first album and really liked that...but I haven't gotten around to buying anything else of theirs.

THANK YOU NAPSTER!

She also suggested Dramarama's "Anything Anything" which I'm currently listening to. I can tell the lyrics are deep...but can't concentrate on them over the fast and furious tapping of keys on my keyboard.

And Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You" which is only like...one of my all time favorite songs.

Hello Kitty's suggestions...I haven't been able to download yet. She either gave me some obscure songs, or I'm hitting Napster at the wrong time.

Same with Methybeth's "too cool for Napster" selections

And Sleepflower

Action_Grrl's selections rocked. Tom Jones and the Cardigans doing Talking Heads' "Burning Down The House" was too cool. And the Orbital song was just the kinda trippy techno I like.

Affemann suggested Social Distortion's "I Was Wrong". I had forgotten all about that song. I loved it when it came out a while back and had completely forgot to download it. As far as the Clutch stuff...still waiting for someone cool to show up with it.

Cordeliameg , that little doll...I already had all her selections.

The Crackhead suggested St. Etienne's "Storm Trooper In Drag". A Gary Numan cover. Tres cool.

Pink Pistol reminded me just how cool the Pixies were.

And Mich (I know so many Mich's...I have no idea which one suggested it...) gave me a ton of great new MP3s...I LOVE Ben Folds Five's "Magic", Fleming & John's "Rain All Day" (so creepy, it's catchy!) and Flaming Lips "The Gash". Jump Little Children is a bitch to find...and the other BF5 songs rock too.

That's not everyone... Sinnamon suggested the Thong Song...uh huh...put the crack pipe DOWN sweetie...

Heh. I'll download it as a novelty deal. Ten years from now, once everyone's sick of the song, it might be fun to pull out and say..."Remember the spring of 2000 when this was considered music?"

Anyway...all the rest of ya's...I'm getting around to downloading them all.

I'll also be adding a slew of new names to the Army later this weekend.

A slew = 3-4 names.

And...a recap of my wedding day sometime this weekend.

Consider this...I ALMOST DIED ON MY WEDDING DAY!!!

Of course...as always...that's an exaggeration. But tune in anyway. It'll be shitloads of fun.