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09:36:58 - 2000-07-13


Merci beaucoup.

...I think that's French for "Good morning". It might be "Thank You". If it's thank you...I meant for it to be "Good Morning."

...But with a French twist...


Ya wanna know what I hate??? I hate surfing Napster and finding a song that says "RARE" or "Acoustic Version" or something like Britney Spears doing "Enter Sandman" or something as unusual.

Then you download the song and it's the same old crap you've always's not rare, or a disco version or Britney doing "Sandman" but freakin' Metallica's same old tired version.

Not that this has happened to me. But if it did...boy...WOULD I BE PISSED!!!



Well...guess who isn't WHITE TRASH after all???

That's right, yer dear ol' Unca Bawb.

Apparently...the water company made a "grave error" (my words, not theirs) when they left me a note saying I hadn't paid my bill and they were gonna shut off my water and leave me stinking with dirty toilets and a thirsty damned dog.

They had screwed up somehow down there and apologized profusely for suggesting I should move into a 10 year-old double wide, start drinking heavily, beating my wife and getting a hound dog named Fred tied to my front porch with some greasy rope while I grew pot in my closet.

Damned water company. They'd better watch who they're accusing. Assholes.


Switched cable companies and internet service yesterday after three weeks with the OTHER cable company.

I feel like I've gotten outta prison.

EXCEPT, I still have their shitty phone service for the next two weeks.

I've NEVER had phone service like this before.

The phone now rings TWICE. If I don't pick it up after the second ring, the caller is disconnected.

No answering machine pickup. No voice mail.


I've had this new phone company send repairmen out TWICE in two weeks. Both times, the guys witnessed the problem, but couldn't fix it.

Jeezum Crow, boys ... I thought you guys were called REPAIRMEN.

They keep blaming my phone. The one I got for Christmas that worked FINE before we switched to their "cheaper" service.

The competing cable company who came to my house yesterday told me that they had heard nothing but BAD THINGS about that "cheaper" phone service and that they're fucking up phones like Mike Tyson fucks up waitresses faces.

Anyway...I'm pretty pissed about it.

'Specially since I stubbed my toe yesterday running to the phone for a fucking telemarketer call.

...Fucking big toe...always in the way...

Ah well...who REALLY came here to read about my dissatisfaction with my phone provider??

...That's what I thought...


Bought Stephen King's "The Stand" on DVD yesterday.

Everytime I've seen it for sale, it was like 40 bucks, because it's six hours of movie on one DVD, which is a techological feat that rivals man walking on the moon and scientists cloning John Malkovich.

I got it for $25.

Meester Bargain Hunter...that's me.

I sat yesterday and watched THREE FREAKIN HOURS of this mini-series.

Wasted my whole damned afternoon watching HALF a movie.

I sat there thinking "When the hell am I ever going to have the time to watch this thing again??"

ANSWER: Probably never.



Heya...thanks for some suggestions yesterday for my sister's MENSA game.

The one where you pick song titles and matched them with "more appropriate" singers.

I got "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window" by Pet Shop Boys.

And "I Want Candy" by the Fat Boys.

And "We Didn't Start The Fire" by Porno for Pyros.

"Animal Army" and "Don't Feed The Animals" by Babylon Zoo.

And "Shunt" by Recoil ...which ... c'mon Zoo...that's stretching it, babe.

So thanks to Jenifer012 and Redzoo for pitching in and helping out.

My brilliant sister thanks you too by proxy.


We've got more company coming to stay with us this weekend, but this is company I actually LIKE.

Our friends Patricia and Ehab from Atlanta are going to be here. They're moving to Charlotte, North Carolina in a few weeks and this will probably be the last time we see them for a while.

They have a one-year-old son named Max that I haven't seen since he was a few months old, and I'm looking forward to seeing his chubby lil face.

I have to go out today and find him a b-day present since he just turned one on Tuesday.

I think I'll get him a carton of smokes and a few rubbers.

What else would a guy named Max want?

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