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08:27:14 - 2000-02-07

I have ten minutes to write...

I just wanna say one more time how much I love Diaryland.

I've been here less than a month, but feel like I've known so many of you for years, and yet...we've never met and probably haven't even communicated electronically.

I was walking this morning and thinking and walked smack into a Stop sign. That's not important. The important part was ... I thought ... "There's no way in Hell Diaryland could have a group meeting in real life like they do in the chat channels."

Simply because we all know TOO MUCH about each other. It'd probably be little more than a huge group counseling session with us older people telling the younger people everything was gonna turn out better than it is now. And then the adults would pile into a hotel room for a giant orgy and EVERYONE would know exactly what EVERYONE liked.

Because we've gone too far in our diaries.

But in a way that's good. Because now...nobody would try to blow me ... OOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!! ( a really bad Andrew "Dice" Clay impression).

I really never did get around to explaining why I don't like blow jobs in my entry entitled "Why I Hate Blow Jobs". Sorry...sometimes I start off with good intentions, get distracted, and am lucky to get anything uploaded onto this site.

The real reason...I was bit early on by an inexperienced, but willing-to-learn girlfriend. It wasn't deep enough to get stitches (thank GOD) but it tore the skin. The pain was tremendous and I decided right then and there ... no more teeth. I love women. Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em. But I don't need, desire, want or accept oral sex.

"Well gee, Uncle Bob ... what if I have all my teeth surgically extracted? Will you let me fly to Alabama and blow you then?" I cant imagine being gummed. Because no woman could resist chomping down on a pecker if she had no teeth and don't try to tell me you wouldn't.


Makes me squirm just thinking about it.

I have a friend, who shall remain nameless, who told me she liked to stick the tip of her tongue INSIDE the guy's tallywhacker while she's blowing him.

I made her SWEAR TO GOD to never bring up such a fact again.

I squirmed for three weeks after that. Right now, it's making me sweat thinking about it.

So that's my huge sexual hangup and why. I'm always gung-ho to give and have had my work complimented with many fake orgasms over the years. Some women would go so far as to turn the television off while I did my oral aerobics on their velvet underground. Tell me that won't go to a guy's head immediately, huh?

Alright...time's up. Y'all have a great day ... Diary...stay warm pal. Love ya.

This site makes me horny

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Uncle Bob.

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