MY BOSS GETS EVEN MORE EVIL WITH HER SADISTIC TORTURING OF MY SOUL

Gawd.

I just finished reading my evil boss' Wendigo's update about her trip to New Orleans and the beach.

From reading it, you wouldn't think they did anything other than eat. Holy cow. The sad part is...Wendi's not overweight in the least. But man...that gal can apparently put away some food. She can put the fear of God into your average chef when she walks through a door. There's no buffet that can withstand her mighty fork.

Sheesh.

I'm starving now after reading that. And all I can eat is half a banana.

THANKS WENDI!!!

(mumbles)

...rabble scrabble evil boss and all her food stories...

As she said in her entry, I've put dibs down on a new office which it looks like I'll be getting.

It's slightly bigger than the one I'm in now...it has a window taking up one whole wall, it's near the bathrooms (no more holding my urine until absolutely necessary) and there's a water fountain right outside my door so I can refill my water bottles with ease, rather than going on a hike to do it.

I'm pretty jazzed about the move. I'm going to hate to say goodbye to the girl leaving because she's a real sweetheart...but hey...I get the office!!

Gooooooo ME!!

Edweird and I had lunch outside today in a little shaded courtyard. It was really nice outside today...mid '70s or so. Very relaxing.

Almost romantic. You know...if it wasn't too straight guys eating lunch at their workplace.

There was this bee that kept buzzing around our lunches, so I set a trap for him inside this used chicken cold cuts/lunch meat bag. The bee finally flew in there, Edweird closed the bag tight and then beat the bee up with his fists.

Yep.

We're in our 30s and act like 7 year-olds.

Got a problem with it?

Oh yeah...check it out...I'm now the #1 link on Adult Backwash.

Yesterday I was #22. Today...#1.

Dare I say it?

...I RAWK!

I still have no clue what Adult Backwash is, what it stands for, what its purpose may be.

All I know is I'm number one.

And the other 24 entries can bite my ass.

BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE, KNAVES!!!

Of course, the link that's provided goes into detail about the absolute worst sex I've ever had. So it's almost humiliating.

...Almost.

Thanks to Jake on the Message Board for pointing out my Adult Backwash domination.

Sadly, I'm sure that tomorrow I will be dethroned by somebody who got drunk and attempted to have sex with a three-legged mule and wrote a journal entry about it.

That would be my luck.

Edweird sent me this...I thought it was cute and poignant at the same time.

If you happen upon a Peace Rally:

1) Approach ignorant, liberal person talking about peace and saying there should be "no retaliation"

2) Have a brief conversation with them and ask if military force is appropriate.

3) When he says, "No" ask him, "Why not?"

4) When he says, "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths,which would be awful, and we should not cause more violence."

5) Punch him in the face . . . hard.

6) When he gets up to punch you, point out to him that it would be a mistake to (and contrary to his values) punch you because he would be causing more violence.

7) When he agrees with you that he has pledged not to commit violence, punch him in the face again . . . only harder this time.

8) Repeat steps 2 through 7 until he understands that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.

We had Papa John's pizza last night.

Welcome to my diet.

But instead of having the Meat Lovers or whatever the hell they call it there, we had Hawaiian Delight...ham and pineapple.

It was good.

Damned good.

I ate two slices like a good boy.

Then...about two hours later...when it came time for my evening snack...I uhhhhh...I had another slice.

Well look, Missy...in my defense, I'm allowed a starch, a meat, a fruit and a milk for my evening snack.

The pizza had all that.

So biteth my asseth.

...And....uhhhh...I ate a fourth slice this morning with breakfast....

BUT I DIDN'T EAT A BAGEL OR A FAT!!!

Man.

It sure would be nice if you could stay off my ass every now and then....sheesh. One slice of pizza. Get over it.

(This is the sound of me trying to convince myself that an extra slice of pizza wasn't going to kill me, even though it could but I'm the last one that I want to see responsible for my own death.)

My sister Kristi's coming to spend the weekend with us on Friday.

Which means we have to go home tonight and clean house.

Our guest bedroom is so full of crap, Osama could be hiding in there for all we know.

You know ... it dawned on me today...we are about to go to war with a guy who lives in caves.

He doesn't have a mansion, a White House, a palace.

He lives in caves.

And he's a millionaire.

We're going against a millionaire who lives in a cave.

I mean...doesn't that seem odd? We're bombing a caveman.

Just seemed weird to me this morning. That's all.

Anyway...Kristi's coming which will be cool because my sister is so much more cool than me. She's a lot of fun to be around and is just a great person in general.

We're all going out Friday night, taking our pastor out on the town for his big 3-0 birthday.

His wife's not coming...she's going to be at a woman's retreat.... but she's a vegetarian and she doesn't usually cook anything with meat in it so hopefully he'll want to go get a steak in her absence.

Man.

Am I rambling or what?

I'm going to put an end to all of our misery right now and hit the "Done!" button at the bottom of this thing.

Take care and see ya tomorrow!