AIN'T NOTHIN' QUITE LIKE A GOOD PEE SHIVER

Smoochie woochie baby.

Have a happy Easter?!? Did the bunny leave you cool presents?

I spent mine struggling with this new PIECE OF CRAP computer, thank you.

(Bob hits himself in the forehead several times, hollering "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID")

Look...if it will make all you geeks happy...yes...YOU TOLD ME SO.

I SHOULDA ordered a computer.

I SHOULDA got a different computer.

I SHOULDA let you guys build me a super puter.

I SHOULDA had my dog spayed or neutered in its early years.

I didn't.

Fuck me running.

I've got three major problems. One is the fact that "There's Something About Mary" STILL doesn't play in my DVD until it's "warmed up" for over ten minutes.

Yesterday I waited 20 minutes for it to "warm up" and it STILL wouldn't play.

But the other movies work fine, so I can't say the DVD is screwed up.

This new Mindspring 4.0 is the biggest piece of shit.

I tried for 15 minutes this morning before I could get on line.

At 5 freakin' a.m. baby.

NOBODY is online at this hour. Yet I have more trouble getting online now than I ever have.

I'm not blaming the computer on this one. I think the Mindspring stuff is screwy-wooey.

So...I got ahold of an old disc. I'm going to see if it will work on my new puter.

I hope so. I sure did get attached to the OLD Mindspring method of getting connected on the first try.

And I have 10 zip discs of MP3s I want to download.

I tried to download them twice yesterday.

During the third disc, the project is abruptly aborted and I lose everything.

Frustrating?

Oh yer fuckin A right it's frustrating.

I spent four hours messing with that stupid project. Four hours of my life, sitting in front of the computer and waiting for these things to download only to have them all aborted.

It got so bad that I hooked up the old computer last night...the one that I can barely see ... and worked off of that instead of my new $1,600 computer.

And thanks to my gal Sho-sho who suggested calling Compaq tech support.

It might be a good idea at this point.

So yesterday was spent in front of the computer all day, reading manuals and nodding my head slowly as I read helpful tips that don't mean shit to me, but I pretended they did.

------------------------

Went to church yesterday morning when Susie announced we were having a baby.

Man...it was pretty cool.

First off, the place was packed. Easter and all.

Second...Susie had just finished directing the children's choir when she announced it. So...as they all watched these kids be directed by her, many sat there and kept thinking "When is that girl ever going to have her own damned kid to direct?"

We answered that question rather quickly.

The congregation applauded when she announced it.

There were even a couple of "WHOOOO-HOOOOOOS" shouted (Remember....this IS Alabama I'm talking about).

One woman even yelled "YOU FUCKIN' ROCK, SUSIE!!"

Yep. In church.

I wouldn't lie about something like that.

(Bob rolls his eyes upward, waiting cautiously for the lightning bolt)

After church, we had to stand there for 30 minutes and let everyone congratulate us and hug us.

I even managed to get a nice tit squeeze in on one woman.

Granted, she's 94 years old and wheelchair bound and can't speak any more. But a tit squeeze is a tit squeeze in my book of love.

Plus...she's a geriatric babe.

Still has most of her hair. Wrinkles in allll the right places. And just a tad of firmness left in those ta-tas.

Plus, she was wearing this sexy matching pearl necklace and earrings set that always makes me melt like a popsicle left in the driveway.

(Bob feels a shiver of delight coast through his body. Sorta like a good pee shiver but lasting longer).

I once said in an oral report in Human Sexuality that the male orgasm could be compared to an extended pee shiver that made the entire auditorium crack up. I have used that analogy ever since.

Do women get pee shivers? Where you're peeing and you get an all-over shiver??

God...if you don't ... curse your vaginas now.

PEE SHIVERS RULE, BAYBAY!!!

Anybody that emailed me late last week or anytime this weekend, it's a good chance that because I was changing 'puters, I didn't get your message, or your email was erased before I could answer it.

My apologies.

E-mail me again and we'll get this squared away.

Speaking of which...Molzo ... I lost all that FTP info. Can you re-e-mail me the passwords, etc? Danke!

Hey...try to have a great day. Even with all this computer schtuff in my face, I AM GOING TO HAVE A GREAT DAY.

You do the same, dammit.