I wish it would snow.

I'm sitting here, watching the "Today" show and everybody and their mother has snow right now.

Except for Alabama. It's bitter cold this a.m. (27 degrees) ... but no snow.

It hasn't snowed here since 1993, when two inches of snow fell, shutting down the city, its roads and causing pandemonium in grocery stores.

For those of you up north, two inches is a walk in the park. But the south is not prepared for dealing with snowy weather, because we never get it.

I just called my mom in South Carolina. She said they got four inches and their situation is just like ours ... it NEVER snows in South Carolina.

So there's hope for me yet.

If it snowed four inches here ... well ...at least the city would be shut down for one day. But I'm sure the snow would melt in no time and then we'd have nothing but slush and mud and we'd all walk around all pissy because the snow would be gone and we'd all have to be back at our desks.

There's a chance that we may get freezing rain on Thursday. Which is not exactly a fair replacement for snow, but I'd take it.

My dog smells like dirty dog ass. We just bathed her two weeks ago and have to wait another two weeks before we can bathe her again. I think she has some kinda poop stuck to her fur, but I don't wanna check.

But dammit ... I wish she'd go lay down somewhere else other than right by my side.

UNCLE BOB'S HOUSE OF FUN