Uncle Bob's Diary O' Chuckles

AND SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS?

Wellll...another one over and a new one just begun.

I remember as a kid, I would always get a little depressed Christmas afternoon because I knew it would be another year before another windfall of toys would come my way again.

I got a little depressed like that yesterday. Not that I got a ton of presents yesterday or anything...but I was holding Andy in my arms and we looked outside and it was just so cold and dreary and brown and quiet outside. And I told Andy "This is what Christmas looks like. Sucks, doesn't it?"

Andy agreed it sucked. Then he wormed out of my arms, got on the floor, crawled away and played with his new Bear piano.

I know all about the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus was born and people all went "Whoa! Cool! Virgin birth!" and all that jazz.

But I've always believed that the true meaning of Christmas is stockpiling toys for another year. I mean, c'mon...show me a kid that truly cares about a baby being born 2000+ years ago.

Now show me a kid who cares that there's an X-Box under the tree on December 25th.

Regardless...it's over. I got a refrigerator magnet with a space for Andy's face in it. A "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" desk calendar. Some sugarless chocolates. Some Old Spice. Some post-it notes (Yes...apparently Susie does all her shopping at Dollar Tree). The "Traffic" DVD (that I bought for myself since I knew Dollar Tree wouldn't have it). And a fancy toothbrush that spins around when you push a button. That must have set her back two bucks at least.

Oh yeah. And that digital camera.

Which, by the way, I took pictures with.

This picture was the first one taken yesterday morning. He's trying to play with two toys at once. That's my boy.

Here he is, proving that his parents are idiots. Had we just spent $2.99 on a Pooh balloon, he would have been perfectly content since that's all he wanted anyway.

He's convinced that his Musical Activity Table is actually a walker. He has pushed this damned thing all over the house since he got it.

We spiked his juice with Extra Strength Tylenol so he would eventually nap. Can you tell?

Days before Christmas we freaked out because Andy had taken a sudden interest in cars and everything we got him lit up and made noise. Susie, always the hero in these situations, sniffed out the nearest Dollar Tree and purchased six little cars that don't really roll...they bounce. He doesn't seem to mind.

You can tell he's slightly disturbed by the fact that these cars don't roll. He's trying to put on a good game face that makes him look appreciative, but he's completely giving up on rolling the cars by now.

A quiet, reflective moment as he tries to decide the quickest way to break his Bear in the Big Blue House piano. In the background, Susie has just realized that she got an actual present under the tree that wasn't purchased at the Dollar Tree and is thinking "Oh shit!"

As is perfectly natural, this is the moment that Andrew figures out that the box that his activity table has come in is actually much more fun than the activity table.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and is enjoying the holidays. Today, it's me and the boy hanging around the house all day while Mama goes to work.

At least we have new boxes to play with while she's gone.