TEARS OF JOY

Awwwww...you guys.....

I wouldn't say you came out of the woodwork. But four of Uncle Bob's Warrior Soldiers 2000 took the time and effort to e-mail me and let me know how to put the "Five Latest Entries" thing down at the bottom of the page.

Man ... you guys rock.

First, my saving grace, the apple of my eye, the whole damned reason I continue living... Malkavia rocked the house y'all by telling me to put %%older_entries%% at the bottom of my page.

She was right. However...the Malkstah didn't realize who she was dealing with.

And that is ... the world's most ignorant bastard ...moi.

That didn't work. I checked my page and at the bottom...sure as shit...it said "%%older_entries%%" at the bottom of my page but no links.

Frantically, I emailed the Malkstah back, desperately begging for help.

In the meantime ... three other bastions of light and glory e-mailed me to tell me how to go about doing it.

They are...in order of the arrival of their emails... The Ultra-Handsome Lady Killer, Banky, the hottest sex kitten in the landBad Kitty, and the only Diarylander sicker than meThe Great Amberino.

Each of them took the time and patience to spell it out to me like I was Rain Man, and I appreciate that greatly. When it comes to HTML stuff, I have to be led through by the hand, and you guys did just that.

And Malkavia even signed my People Page today saying "You Own Me".

Well...just when you thought slavery was dead ... I'm the proud owner of a bouncing baby Malkavia.

Honestly ... I can't accept you Malkie. I own three Malkavias already. One is up on blocks in the front yard.

I just don't have room for ya, Sweetie.

But I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

All four of you.

Because now ...thanks to your generosity ... young children who couldn't walk before ... will now be taking some miraculous first steps.

And it's all thanks to you.

And that Bill Gates guy. He played a big role in this as well.

God bless us each and every one.

Now...if you'll excuse me...I'm going to go wipe the tears of joy from my eyes, fix a frozen pizza, jack off to "Touched By An Angel" and I'll be back with another update eventually tonight.

MWAHHHHHH!!!!!

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If you loved me, you'd leave me A MESSAGE .

If you want to read my diary from 1980 when UNCLE BOB was 18 and pitiful , CLICK HERE

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