MY GOODNESS...YOU HAVE A VERY TIGHT BOX

I just lost a whole entry because I thought I'd be Joe Cool and make the box that I type this shit in a little larger.

In that entry, I spoke at length about having lunch with my former drug dealer and how it was odd because I don't do drugs anymore and the only thing I had in common was that I could call him up and say "Find me some pot" and he would and then I'd pay him for the pot.

So he called me up wanting to do lunch. I figured he'd try to sell me drugs, but he didn't because I let him know that I no longer did drugs.

Man.

Lemme tell ya...that was one FUNNY story!

Too bad it's lost now in the Diaryland abyss.

Then I went on a tirade about these stupid bastards that keep going to Florida, stepping into the ocean and having their legs chewed off by killer sharks.

My suggestion was that they stay at the hotel pool rather than go into the gulf waters.

It had a ton of funny crap in it as well. Just a ton.

Sadly, I don't remember any of it because it disappeared after I tried to make the box a little bigger.

Sneezy just brought his acoustic guitar into the office.

If he starts playing it and singing John Denver songs, I'm going to jump out of my chair and start fake sneezing really loudly just like he does when I light my Vanilla candle.

Two can play this game, Sneezy.

Do you have Snyder's pretzels in your area?

They're the best damned pretzels in the world.

Anyway...they've got these little pretzel nubs that they call "Garlic Bread Nibblers".

These things taste like garlic bread. In case the actual name didn't tip you off.

These things are better than losing your virginity to your average teen pop star.

I just ate one. I'm savoring its crunchy goodness as I type this. It's making my legs wiggle.

You know something's good when it makes your legs wiggle.

The CEO of the company stopped by my office for a chat today.

I really like this guy. He's got a warm smile and really makes me feel comfortable when he comes in.

I've got this really comfortable chair in my office for guests to sit in when they come in. High back, high arm rests...really cushiony.

He loves this chair. He comes in, plops down in it and it takes someone physically pulling him up out of the chair to get him to walk away from it.

Every time he gets up from the chair he mentions what a great chair it is. I always agree, but I haven't sat it in since my first day on the job.

I do remember it being comfy.

I think I want to sit in it again.

He brought up the fact today that whether or not I actually have any interviews in these cities for whom I'm writing books for, the company is still going to probably fly me out to each city to get a feel for it before I come back and write the story.

Hello?

Send me to a city...say Miami for five days...just so I can soak up all things Miami??

Man.

And to think...I thought the newspaper was the best job I'd ever have.

This job RAWKS!!

So...for now anyway...the cities I'll be visiting include Eugene, Oregon; Oakland, California; Boise, Idaho; Oklahoma City; Miami; Philadelphia; Patterson, N.J.; Canton, Ohio and Hampton Roads, Virginia.

Plus Atlanta, which I'll be writing a history book for. But that's within driving distance of here.

Granted...with the exception of Miami, we're not talking vacation hot spots or anything. But still...going to a new city, staying in a nice hotel and just checking everything out...I dunno. Sounds like fun to me.

Envy me you bastards.

I swear to you...this entry was funny as hell before it got tossed away.

For you Diarylanders...don't type an entry in and be three-quarters of the way through when you decide to change the size of your entry box.

It all go bye-bye at that point.

Damn

It's Friday.

As much as I love my job, I love my weekends more.

See ya.