SHARING VITAL INFORMATION THAT MAY COME IN HANDY IN THE FUTURE

I have a piece of information that I hate to share with you people.

Hate it.

If you had a wild horse handy, he'd have to DRAG it out of me.

Only because I like when wild horses drag stuff out of me.

Call me a "wild horse perv".

Or don't.

Anyway ...

Today's my birthday.

Yep.

Uncle Bob's birthday.

Here's the thing ... for me ... the only fun I get out of birthdays anymore is trying to get through the day without anybody realizing it's my birthday.

It's kinda like an espionage plot.

Our sales manager at work for some reason ALWAYS remembers my birthday.

I hate it.

I'll be sitting at work, minding my own business, licking my fingertips and pressing them into electrical sockets when she'll just walk up and say "Oh...by the way Uncle Bob ... happy birthday."

ARRRRRGH!!!

(The "ARRRRRGH!!!" coming from the birthday greetings, not the electrical current flowing through my booty.)

I guess I just don't like to make people feel like shit for not knowing it was my birthday.

I don't keep up with any of my friend's birthdays. None of them.

And then, when they call and say "Oh...today's my birthday" ... I feel like Jesse Jackson on Father's Day ... ashamed and regretful.

Birthdays are no longer a big deal to me. They haven't been for years.

I guess 'cause I share the birthday with Mrs. Uncle Bob.

Yes...for those two or three of you who DIDN'T know ... my wife and I were both born on January 19th.

She's three years younger than I am.

Of course, when you tell people in Alabama that you and your wife share the same birthday, they automatically think you're incestual twins and blow it off, because apparently, it's common place to marry your twin down here.

People are always marveled at the fact that we have the same birthday. I don't think it's that big of a deal. We started dating all those years ago and one night she was visiting me at work (I was deejaying at a club). We were up in the deejay booth and started talking about birthdays. I said mine was January 19th, she was flabbergasted. We both pulled out our IDs and saw that we were born on the same day.

Okay ... when you're dating someone and find out you have the same birthday...something goes through your head that makes you think "THIS IS THE ONE".

I guess because the chances are kinda slim that you could share such a bond. Anyway ... once we found out the birthday situation, I thought it was a sign or something and continued dating her.

Still dating today.

In fact, tonight we're going out on a date.

A birthday date.

And yeah ... there'll be a little kid tagging along too.

Anyway ... it's pretty cool. I never forget my wife's birthday and that's a plus, I guess.

It does suck having to "share" your birthday every year. Maybe that takes all the specialness out of it...I dunno.

Soooo...I'm 39 today.

Christ.

Now THAT'S old.

39 is the age that old people always joke about as STILL being.

"I'm on the 20th anniversary of my 39th birthday."

Etc.

I never thought I'd live to see this age when I was younger.

Because of my ....ummmm....wild life style ... I thought I'd be dead by 20.

25 ... tops.

Now ... here I am.

39 years old.

Happy as hell with life.

Anyway ... Happy Birthday to me.

And my wife.

Woot. Woot.

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Went over to muh boy Eddie Lavoie's (pronounced "Luh-voy"...rhymes with "muh boy"...hence his always being called "my boy"...get it now??) house last night to check out his new Play Station 2 dealio.

It was pretty cool. And even though the graphics are much better than the first Play Station, the one thing that kept jogging through my mind was "How far advanced are these games going to be in ten years?"

It was the SAME thing that runs through my head every time I check out a new game system.

I'm never happy with what's before me. I'm always more curious about what lies ahead.

I'm not sure there's a name for being this type of freaky. So I just call it "My fucked up way of thinking".

Works for me anyway.

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Andy has gotten to the stage where he recognizes me when he sees me after not seeing me for a while, and gets a big grin on his face to greet me.

People...

There is NOTHING like it in the world.

For the last several weeks, I've been busting my ASS to get him to smile for me.

And now, all I have to do is put my face near his.

It's heaven.

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Oh yeah ... I didn't go to that Buckmasters media day the other day ... I'm actually going tomorrow.

I didn't WANT to go tomorrow ... but our sports editor called the media lady in charge and told her I was a huge wrestling fan (ahem) and he wanted to make sure she "took care of me" when I came out to the tournament.

Which means she's going to hook me up with photo ops with all the wrestlers.

What I WANT to stage is a picture with a wrestler from the WWF putting his dukes up against a wrestler from WCW and sell it to a wrestling website or two.

Hmmmmm??

What??

YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT???

Good.

I was starting to lose respect for you for even READING this far.

Anyway ... I'm sure I'll have lots of good stories to share with you on Monday about that.

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My "old friend" Scott should be in town by now.

He's staying with a mutual friend of ours and was supposed to be here about 2 a.m. this morning.

He doesn't know today's my birthday, I'm sure ... and even though I told him I wouldn't see him until tomorrow ... I have a feeling he's going to make efforts to track me down today.

I just want to go to work today, get some work done, maybe come home a little early, chill with the child, go meet Susie for dinner at some steak joint, give her her gift (a day at the spa ... it's what she wanted), wait patiently for my gift, realize she didn't get me a gift because she hasn't "had time", go home, watch a DVD, have some birthday sex, go to sleep.

That's what I wanna do on my birthday.

Will Scott prevent me from having a perfect birthday.

You're damned skippy, he will.

One time, when he got into town at 2 a.m., he showed up at MY house instead of our mutual friend.

To say I was a little pissed is putting it mildly.

I was A LOT pissed.

I was buckets of pissed.

Yeah.

That's the ticket.

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Okay ... I've used this space for nothing more than boring ramblings today.

My apologies. I'll try to do better in the future.

Tee hee!

(You KNOW I won't!!)

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STATEMENT OF THE DAY

Wish me a happy birthday you birthday-forgetting bastahd!!!

(That is ... if the freakin' link is working this morning...damned freakin' links...)