HE WHO WHINES LOUDEST GETS THE COOLEST TOYS

Hey Spunky! Happy Friday night to your righteous ass!!

Well...since the wife is knocked up and goofy, I went and bought that computer I've been telling you about.

From this point on, I am NOT going to mention what brand I got. Apparently, the most controversial thing I've ever done on this website is to get into a discussion about computers.

You geeks take this shit seriously, huh??

My computer is used for two things. Writing and whacking off.

I meant "wesearch".

Really. I did. Whacking off just slipped out.

I swear.

Anyway...now I should be able to write up to four times faster with the new computer. This impresses me immensely.

And you guys will now be getting 8-12 entries a day here because of that.

You know...technically you could.

At one point, early on in my Diaryland tenure, I had the idea to stage a 24-hour Diaryathon.

My plan was to write a normal-sized entry an hour for 24 hours straight.

The wife had gone out of town and it seemed like a fun thing to do. Sit and write nonsense for 24 hours.

I may still do it someday, but if anyone else out there feels up to the task of doing 24 entries in 24 hours, give me some advance notice and I'll at least link ya and let the Army know what you're doing.

But if you let me down, I'm coming to your house with rabid squirrels and I'm going to sic them on your genitals.

So think twice before you go screaming "Unkie Bob!! Lookie me!! I make lots of pretty entries!!"

And then not follow thorugh.

Have you ever had a rabid squirrel gnawing at your nuts?

It's no fun, Officer.

Sooooo....

This freakin' computer....

I'm currently putting my MP3s on zip discs. It's been going for four hours and I'm finally to the V's.

The whole right side of this monitor is now black. I'm really tired of having to focus intently on these words as the cursor crawls at a snail's pace.

Goodbye computer.

If I don't update tomorrow, I'm not dead.

But I will be struggling with the new computer and getting it all hooked up.

So I WILL BE frustrated.

But the next time you see me, I'll be grinning from ear to ear.

And that's as soon as I tackle technology head on for the first time ever.

I can't see the screen, I'm frustrated now with this old piece of crap. I'm gonna go check over the hard drive and make sure I've got everything .

Sorry this entry is so disjointed. But the computer is gasping its last breaths now.

Have I made that point abundantly clear?

Class dismissed.