NEW JOB ON THE HORIZON

Gracious be...hello!

(My impression of a 82 year-old great grandmother...thank you...thank you very much)

Wellll...it looks like I'll be taking this other job and quitting the newspaper.

The only things left to hammer out is my salary and my own office. The building is kind of short on office space, but there is one office that will be coming open soon. My potential new boss walked me by it yesterday kinda quickly, so we didn't look too obvious. As much as I wanted to go in there with a tape measure and some ferns, I just walked past and nodded at the idiot sitting at the desk, trying to get a feel for the office. It looked fairly large from my point of view and I think I could do a lot with it if "a lot" can be loosely translated into pictures of my boy and a boombox.

The strange thing is ... I really like my job at the newspaper. But I think it's time for a change and has been time for some time, with that "some time" actually being "several years".

I've been burned out on the job for the last two years. The reasons I've stuck around are A) There's not many opportunities for a writer in this town with the exception of jumping ship to go to our competition, which doesn't appeal to me. And B)I still dug all the free stuff like CDs, books, tickets and notoriety.

So I'm giving all that up.

BUT, I'm getting the chance to work with some friends that you've read about several times in this diary who I will mention later when the deal becomes official. I'm also getting the chance to advance in the business, whereas with the newspaper I had reached the glass ceiling and couldn't go any further.

Anyway ... I'm pumped, jazzed and excited. Hopefully, on Monday, I'll find out about the salary and office and officially accept the position.

As always, I'll keep you informed.

I have to deejay at a party tonight.

I can't remember the last time I deejayed, but...oh yes I can...last July...anyway ... I'm not really looking forward to it.

My current boss has a friend ... the president of a local bank ... it's his wife's birthday party that I'm deejaying. When this president asked my boss if he knew of any good deejays, my boss suggested me and said I'd do it for $150.

The going rate is $300. I've never done it for less than that.

Most deejays charge $400.

So as you can see ... it's barely worth my time to do this. I have to pay the guy whose equipment I'm using ... I think I'll give him $50. He may turn it down...I HOPE he turns it down.

That leaves me with $100 for about five-six hours work.

"Work" being "standing around and changing out the CDs every three minutes plus occasionally getting on the microphone and acting like I'm having a great time at Grandma's birthday party."

I called her husband yesterday and asked what kinda music they wanted. He said "oldies but goldies".

It's "Oldies But Goodies"...not "goldies".

I get so tired of people who can't remember that fucking phrase.

How hard is it, Jack? These are songs that are OLD but still GOOD.

NOT GOLD.

So anyway ... it's an evening full of Motown and Beach Boys classics.

Yippee.

Better take a change of underwear because this will be so exciting I'll piss my jockeys.

Had a few strange dreams last night.

I dreamt I was picking on Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards inside a Burger King.

I was there with a bunch of friends from high school and Mick and Keith walked in and sat down with us. And Keith had his hair all tangled and messy as usual. I looked at Keith and said "Hey Keith! You finally parted your hair! Oh wait...that's just your bald spot!"

Trust me, in the dream, it was funny. It embarrassed Keith.

So then, we all go to this guy's house and the Stones decide they wanna start jamming while the rest of us sit around and watch them.

It's not every dream that you get to watch the Stones jam. They started playing "Kashmir" which was actually done by Led Zeppelin, but I don't think my sleeping brain comprehended artists and songs at 2:15 this morning.

By the time they finished the song, about 50 losers had shown up and were filling this house all thinking they were hot shit because they were partying with the Stones.

This pissed the Stones off, who then left the building without anyone seeing where they went.

They drove past the house in a big school bus and Mick was yelling out the window for the original crew from Burger King to come to First Avenue and listen to them jam there.

We don't even HAVE a First Avenue in town here.

So I said "fuck it". I didn't need to go listen to them jam anymore.

I also dreamt that I had been cheating on my wife with a fairly cute blonde who then told my wife everything while my wife stared at me with tears in her eyes.

That kinda sucked.

Went to Pizza Hut with Mattie Gee yesterday for their lunch buffet.

Bad decision.

There was a table of eight construction workers sitting near the buffet who thought it was "funny" to take as much pizza as they could EVERY SINGLE TIME the fresh pizzas were brought out.

It was literally 15 seconds after the pizzas were set out that they all got scarfed up by these guys who'd sit back down laughing while the rest of the restaurant waited for them to fucking leave.

I hate people like that.

How tough is it to go out in public and not be a glutton?

IF the restaurant is near empty, sure...take eight slices of pizza each and sit down and chow the fuck down.

But if there's families, business men on break, college students, etc....don't make a fucking game of your appetite. Take 2-3 slices and sit your ass back down and let others eat too.

A lot of people were complaining.

I got four slices of pizza before I gave up. And those took nearly 45 minutes to get.

Fat ignorant fuckers.

I've got more to talk about, but I need a nap. I've been up for two hours because my back was killing me. Now, after two painkillers, it feels much better and I feel much woozy.

Take care ... see ya tomorrow!