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5:41 a.m. - 2002-02-19

TIME TO CLEAN OUT THE ARMY

Hey.

As you can probably see by the bottom of this page ... I've got way too much stuff on it.

More specifically ... the Army list is about 300 names too long.

Therefore...once again, it is time to weed out the diaries that are either

A)Password protected or

B)Haven't been updated in two months or more.

I'm giving all Army members until Friday to either update or remove the password protection on their diaries.

I hate to set boundaries or standards or anything like that. But if your diary is basically dead or if you have a password that keeps the general public from seeing it, I'm going to have to remove you. The Army list grows each week and these pages can only hold so much HTML before the bottom of the page starts getting eaten away.

If it were up to me, I'd have every member remain on there.

But it's not.

IF you have some sort of extinuating circumstances on why you'd like to have your diary kept up on the list (you're only password protected for a few days or there's a reason you haven't updated but plan on doing so soon), then email me and let me know the reason. If I receive an email from you, I'll keep you on the list. Otherwise, don't be shocked when your diary is removed.

Now then...active and valid Army Members...I'm calling on you to help me out.

Since weeding out the defunct diaries is a big task that takes me a few days ... I need you to assist me.

If you could keep an eye out for any diaries that haven't updated in two months or more or have password protected their diaries, could you e-mail me and let me know?

An easy way to help out is to check out the people whose diaries start with the same letter as yours. For instance, if your diary name is "Poophead", just check out all the P's for me and let me know which ones are no longer working.

If you want to do more than just your letter, that's fine too. If you have that kind of time on your hands, be my guest.

You know...by doing this...you may actually find a new diary that you LIKE and will start reading on a regular basis. Which is ... of course...the whole reason behind this list.

Now...here comes the shocker ... yes...it's true...I do NOT read every one of the diaries on this list on a daily basis.

(Big loud audible gasp from the peanut gallery)

I check many of them out on occasion. I've checked ALL OF THEM OUT at least once. But I'm a human, not a machine. There's no way I have time to read 700-800 diaries a day and keep up with everyone's individual lives.

That's not what this list is. It's not my personal daily reading list.

It's just a way to add a few more hits to your diary and perhaps get some new readers to your site.

That's all. You may have read on other sites how Uncle Bob's Army is evil, corrupt, a big clique full of assholes or a perfect way for me to inflate my giant ego or get hits.

Nope. It's none of the above. It's just my stupid way of helping others. If I could do more, I'd do more. Sadly, I have no interest in learning any more HTML than I already know and two years ago, this seemed like a good way to help generate traffic to new and interesting diaries OTHER than my own.

Believe me, you petty little naysayers that THINK I keep the Army going just to get hits...that ain't the reason. I get the majority of my hits from people who aren't Diaryland-related and don't have diaries here.

So there you go, you bunch of pissy little anonymous crybaby fucks. Suck on that for a while.

Whew.

I feel better already.

So yeah...I need your help. Send me any diary name that you see hasn't updated or is password protected and they're gone as of this weekend.

If you haven't updated and want to keep your diary in the list, then update sometime this week.

If you want to stay on board and haven't updated, e-mail me and explain your situation and I'll make sure you don't get removed.

Fair enough??

I think so.

Have a great day and GET TO WORK FOR YOUR COUNTRY, DAMMIT!!

USA! USA! USA!

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