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11:36 p.m. - 2008-10-31

BUCK UP JUNIOR, YOU COULD BE DIGGING DITCHES

Ugh.

There are times when I really like being a DJ for private parties.

Then there are times like tonight.

I had a Sweet 16 birthday party tonight. I really only booked the party a week ago ... Halloween on a Friday night and I couldn't get a party up until a week ago.

I did have ONE offer before then ... for a college gig three hours from home. No thanks. I hate driving that far for a gig these days and I hate college crowds.

I take that back ... I don't HATE college crowds. They always dance and have a good time but they just always seem somewhat unappreciative of my work.

And I'm not saying that I need a pat on the back every time I play, but I know I'm damned good at what I do and it's just nice to hear one "good job tonight" instead of people treating me like a leper when the music stops.

Anyway ... said no to the college party and took the Sweet Sixteen party.

The girl turning 16 seemed sweet enough.

I can't say too much bad about her friends.

I just ... I'm 46 years old.

Please don't get right up in front of me grinding your ass into some pimply teenage boy's crotch and expect me to go ga-ga over it.

Some little 15 year-old girl dressed like a French maid KEPT doing this all night.

She would grab boys by the hand, lead them through the crowd right up in front of me then stand there staring at me as she did just that.

It makes me uncomfortable and it's hardly sexy. If I was 30 years younger, I'm sure it'd be a dream come true. But honestly ... that kinda shit just bores me to tears.

Still ... teenage girls think they're sexy when they do this and all I'm thinking is "Stop. Stop it right now and go to your room."

Then, about 10:00, I played some song that they didn't want to dance to (the birthday girl gave me a list of brand new singles she wanted to hear and her friends didn't seem to be too familiar with most of them) and they all went outside.

As soon as they did this, Birthday Girl's Mom turned on the lights and told me to cut off the music.

That was fine with me. I was supposed to play until 11:00, but I get paid the same either way.

So I have unplugged everything and started packing everything up.

The kids come back in about 10:10.

"Can you play some more music?" one of the girls asked.

"Sorry," I said. "Birthday Girl's Mom told me to shut it down. Y'all weren't showin' me any love!"

(I learned that line from a rap song.)

So the 12 or so kids that are left at this point are all bitching that they want more music and the lights turned down and blah blah blah.

I asked the mother if I should keep playing music.

She asked how long it'd take for me to hook everything back up and I said 5-8 minutes.

"Go ahead and play some more then," she sighed.

Wait a fucking second, lady. I just said it'd take me 5-8 minutes to hook everything back up.

I guess what I SHOULD have said was "It doesn't matter how long it'll take me to hook everything back up ... IT'S A FUCKING PAIN IN THE ASS TO DO SO AND THESE KIDS ARE SPOILED FUCKING BITCHES WHO SHOULDN'T GET EVERYTHING THEY FUCKING WANT BECAUSE THEY'RE STILL CAPABLE OF WHINING LIKE LITTLE FUCKING BITCHES."

Instead I started SLOWLY hooking everything back up.

It took about two minutes. And that was with me dragging my heels the whole time.

So I played the first song that I could find ... T.I.'s "Whatever You Like" for those of you interested.

The kids just kinda half-assed grinded on each other for the duration of the song and when the next one started they all walked away again.

I got on the mic and said "Can I quit now?"

Everyone answered "Yes".

Fucking unappreciative little bastards (and bitches).

Maybe I'm just in some sort of mood tonight, I dunno.

I do kinda resent the fact that once again I missed the chance to go trick-or-treating with Andrew ... something I think I've only done once in the last five years ... just so a bunch of spoiled private school kids could stand around and be spoiled little brats.

Eh.

Truth is ... I'm a whore and I'll do anything for money.

Thankfully, my wife and kid seem to understand and accept this fault in my personality.



Also ... everyone bitches that MTV doesn't play videos anymore.

Then where in the hell are these girls learning how to dance like whores?

My Space? You Tube??

SOMEWHERE today's "musical artists" (and yes, I'm using that term loosely) are getting their videos into the eyes of these kids, these kids are thinking that dancing like crack whores is how they should behave when loud music is played and I'm clueless as to where they're getting this message.

So anyway.


The last two nights Andrew has shit the bed.

He didn't even do that when he was in diapers.

Thursday morning he was all upset about it. He was ashamed and embarrassed and Susie and I both assured him that it was okay because we both thought he must have some sort of virus.

So I stayed home with him Thursday and by the time 8 a.m. rolled around and he figured out he wasn't getting into trouble for shitting the bed, he was full of energy. Hell, it was a day off from school for him.

So maybe ... MAYBE ... he thought if he shit himself last night that he'd get to stay home today.

And this morning when I went to wake him up ... whoomp! There it was.

Hey ... sorry kid. But you're not staying home today. Clean the shit off you and get dressed.

But I dunno. He didn't SEEM like he wanted to stay home. Today was the big Halloween party at school, tonight was Halloween and tomorrow is his 8th birthday party. So if he was sick, he'd miss all that.


I probably should have mentioned earlier ... this isn't a humorous entry. I'm just passing the time until I get sleepy and go to bed and I think I've gotten all my work finished so here you go.


I'm now sleepy and ready for bed.

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