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6:47 a.m. - 2002-03-27

LET'S GET NOISY IN BOISE!!

I actually saw a t-shirt yesterday that had that written on it.

I had to ask myself, "What the hell does that mean?"

I guess it was just an open invitation for people to make loud, rambunctious noise for long periods of time.

So I screamed at the kid wearing it.

I don't think he got the joke.


So yesterday, my first interview was at 7 a.m.

Which is an hour that in commonly known as "an ungodly hour" in the working world.

I made it to the interview with plenty of time to spare and talked to a lady for several minutes before the people who were actually being interviewed showed up.

She told me two things that made me fall even more in love with this noisy city.

A) There's no humidity here in the summertime.

B) There's no bugs.

She said that everyone keeps their doors and windows wide open in the summertime. My. Gawd. If we did that in Alabama, mosquitos would carry off our children. That's just not EVEN an option in the south.

Of course...here's the main reason I love this city...

Even in a pretty shitty location, it's still beautiful.

So anyway...got done with that interview...all about a heart clinic. Yeah, it was about as exciting as it sounds...and I've HAD heart problems.

After that thrilling interview, I had about an hour to kill so I went and tried to get lost in town.

I've found myself doing that a lot this trip. I just start driving in a direction that I haven't been yet and ALWAYS turn up somewhere that I have already seen.

That doesn't make much sense, does it?

Basically...I can't get lost in this city. I've tried and there's just too many major streets that I've discovered.

That's really cool. Doesn't sound like it...but it is.

I stopped at Jack In The Box for a breakfast biscuit. This was my first time to ever eat at a Jack in the Box. It's also my last time. We have something similar to Jack in the Box in Alabama. It's called "roadkill".

...Except roadkill's tastier.


Showed up for my second interview at 9 a.m.

Gawsh. The guy I was supposed to interview was taking the day off. How convenient for him. I've traveled across the country for this interview and he would rather go play golf.

So the receptionist panics, she contacts one of the other employees there who panics. Before I know it, the entire place is panicking except me who kept saying "It's okay...I'll just call him and do the interview over the phone next week."

Oh no. Oh that's not good enough. This interview must have just slipped Mr. Bigwig's mind and they're going to get him in the office NOW!

So they call him on his cell phone. Sure enough, he's golfing and forgot all about me.

They want to know if I can come back later.

I hem-haw around because it makes them squirm a bit. Even though I had no other interviews lined up for the rest of the day, I made them think I'd have to "squeeze him in".

So I said I'd be back about 4:00. Mr. Bigwig said "Great" and returned to his golf game.

The rest of the day I just drove around the city and got lost some more. It never happened. I kept showing up where I had already been.

Went to the mall and bought the new CD by a guy named Andrew W.K. who's supposed to be the next big thing.

Yes, I'm 40 and am buying a heavy metal disc for myself. I have no pride.

I guess I just wanted to "get noisy in Boise". And I did. I cranked the bass all the way up in the rental car and got all old school on Andrew W.K.'s ass.

Then, after the first song, I turned the volume down to a more tolerable level and cleaned the blood from my ears.

I bought Andrew and Susie some stuff too. I got Andrew a Rolie Polie Olie book with a toy rocket on the side of it that goes up and down. I also got him a Playhouse Disney's greatest hits disc with songs from all the Playhouse Disney shows.

He is going to go about as apeshit as a 17 month-old baby can go when he hears this.

The theme song to "Pooh"?? Check.

The theme song to "PB&J Otter"??? Double check.

The freakin' NOODLE DANCE???? Oh hell yeah...it's here too.

Ape shit, I'm tellin' ya. Positively ape shit.

Susie's a whole lot tougher to buy for. She's never been a material girl at all, so buying little gifts for her is tougher than getting marijuana laws reformed.

I ended up getting her a matching picture frame and little trinket box to put jewelry in. They both are light green with little flowers on them. Hopefully she'll like them.

Hopefully.

I bought them for her to put on her vanity in the new home. I was trying to find stuff that would fit in the new home that I had room for in my suitcase and this was about the best I could do.

I went and conducted my interview with Mr. Bigwig and wrapped that up in record time. He was a nice guy with a horrifying lisp. He was a cross between the owner of a company and Daffy Duck, leaning more toward the Duck Man than the owner of a company.

I then drove around town in rush hour traffic, trying to find the steakhouse that I tried to find on Monday night.

I finally found the address where it was supposed to be and it hasn't moved into its new location yet.

So I drove around town some more, trying to find something that appealed to me. I was sick to death of pizza and that's all this town has to offer. Well...that and Mexican food.

I finally found a Stuart Anderson's restaurant. Steaks are their specialty there. Since I was in the mood for a big steak, I stopped there.

It's amazing how much pity you can get when eating alone. It just seemed like all the employees went above and beyond the call of duty to make sure I was okay since I sat there eating a dinner alone.

I don't mind going to dinner by myself. It's never really bothered me.

But people are all "Can I get you anything else? Like maybe a friend??"

Ate my dinner, tipped the guy 25 percent because he was hella nice to me and came back to the hotel.

Called Susie about 9:00 and the answering machine picked up. I was trying to think where she might be when she finally picked up the phone in the middle of the message.

Apparently Andrew had thrown the phone away in the trash can when she wasn't looking. He's currently fascinated with the trash can and tries to put everything he can fit in there.

Yep.

I'm looking forward to going home.

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